Source: Facebook

Saturday night, OWN aired, arguably, one of its most explosive episodes ever as Iyanla Vanzant of the hit show “Iyanla Fix My Life” sat down for a heart to heart with DMX. The rapper went on the show to figure out why he has such a large appetite for women, but as we saw by the 9-minute mark on the show (at least that’s when I noticed), DMZ had zero interest in getting to the real root of his issues –like drug use and a never-ending feeling of abandonment.

Personally, when all was said and done I didn’t know whether I even wanted to #SupportDMX as Iyanla suggested we do before the show began when she briefed the audience on the episode, saying:

“The next 90 minutes is not about a multiplatinum selling Hip-Hop artist or a celebrity. It’s about a deeply wounded man in a lot of pain. This show, is about the ravages of a longterm drug problem,” said Vanzant at the start of the segment. “I often say, I am not my brothers keeper, I am my brother. Earl Simmons, also known as DMX is my brother. He’s our brother. Earl, I pray you are watching, I support you, and I call forth your healing.”

Though Iyanla suggested DMX’s son Xavier, who confronted him on the show, approach his father non-judgmentally because he suffers from the disease of addiction, it was clear DMX was not fully ready to accept any responsibility for his failed relationship with his soon-to-be ex-wife Tashera, his strained relationship with his son, or his abuse of drugs. And more importantly, he was resistant to any form of help (from Iyanla) and incapable of accepting love (he told his son Xavier he wouldn’t get clean in order to have a relationship with him because his love should be unconditional). By the end of the episode, my empathy for X’s plight and the pain of his mother giving him up that he’s never gotten over, turned to disappointment that he would sign up for an opportunity like this and not even try to reap the benefits.

Sensing, or likely reading the negative response from viewers who lit up Twitter Saturday night when the episode aired, DMX’s publicist released a statement defending the rapper’s portrayal, saying:

“DMX agreed to be a guest on ‘Iyanla: Fix My Life’ with the understanding that she would be helping his relationships with his ten children. When he arrived for the taping, most of the content was focused on his struggles with drugs and poor parenting. Iyanla did not “fix” DMX’s life just made his image worse, and does not have DMX’s personal written consent to use the footage.”

Let’s see here, if Iyanla was sypposed to help his relationship with his 10 children, wouldn’t it be reasonable to assume the reason those relationships need help is because of poor parenting, which stems from drug use? I would say X needs more people, but perhaps the better thing would be different people. Also, this wasn’t even the reasoning he gave for being on the show at the beginning of the episode. He said he wanted to understand why he needed so many women. It sounds like both he and his publicist are confused about a lot of things. It’s no wonder at 42-years-old and after a stint on another couples show, VH1′s “Couple’s Therapy,” DMX is still on a downward spiral. Thankfully, his son Xavier and Tasheera seem to have made peace with the situation, tweeting:

Only the strong survive Addiction destroys families!! Woke up this mrng feeling so thankful instagram.com/p/YFmaljS9y5/

— Tashera Simmons (@TasheraSimmons) April 14, 2013

The waves of support/I have been getting is overwhelming knowing that I helped the lives of many made it all the more worth while. Thank you

— XavierSimmons (@xaviersimmons92) April 14, 2013

Let’s hope DMX gets to that point one day. If you missed him on “Iyanla Fix My Life,” watch the whole episode below. What do you think about his appearance? Is Iyanla responsible for making his image worse?

Source: WENN

From Essence

When Iyanla Vanzant sits down with DMX, everyone had better tune in with a notebook and pencil because it’s going to be explosive. Vanzant meets the embattled rapper on the season 2 premiere of Iyanla: Fix My Life to offer “support” around his issues with drug abuse, women, his extensive arrest record (“roughly 30 times,” he tells her), and his relationship with his family, particularly his son.

Vanzant spoke to ESSENCE.com about the episode, where she thinks DMX went wrong, and what we can all learn from him.

On where she thinks DMX went wrong in his life:

I don’t think that he went wrong. All of us have ways in which we mask and cover our pain. This is a man who is in a tremendous amount of pain. Some of us eat; some of us shop or eat chocolate. What he is doing is a less socially acceptable way to mask and cover his pain because he doesn’t have the skills and the tools to deal with it otherwise. So I don’t think he went wrong, it’s just a defense mechanism.

The breakthrough moment:

Sometimes you go on to do one thing and something else unfolds. When you’re dealing with the ravages of long-term drug abuse you’re also dealing with the impact of the entire ecology of the environment. What we discovered was that the greatest healing was for his son Xavier who had not had the ability to address what he was feeling about his father. Xavier really got the biggest breakthrough.

This was a really good interview and you can read the rest over at Essence.com.  While this episode is clearly going to give us every level of entertainment we need, it is possibly the chance for us to learn something about ourselves and not just using it as a moment to laugh at someone else’s situation.

The second season of Iyanla: Fix My Life premieres tonight at 9p ET on OWN. Will you be watching?

Source: Stephen Knight

From EurWeb

Tashera Simmons is totally crushed that new reality show, “Starter Wives” was canceled after just a few weeks on air. And some say she could be pinning the cancellation on 50 Cent.

Shortly after TLC announced its decision to only air the show online, 50 took to Twitter to take the credit for the move.

Last week he called the show “trash” and jokingly bid good luck to the cast members, hoping everyone would eventually find work.

He then followed up by saying the ladies on the show are just “angry ex girls.”

Tashera then responded to the announcement, expressing her disappointment that the show has ended so soon.

Read her statement on EurWeb.com.

Source: TLC

If you were a fan of TLC’s latest reality show, Starter Wives Confidential, you’ll be saddened to know that the network has decided to pull the plug on the rest of the season. While the exact reason why the show has been canceled hasn’t been revealed, it’s quite obvious that the exes of some of the ladies who appear on the show weren’t exactly thrilled about their dirty laundry being aired out once a week on national television. Not to fret though, the remaining episodes will be available on TLC’s website. The announcement was made by Funkmaster Flex’s ex-wife, Monica Joseph-Taylor via her blog, Mommy’s Dirty Little Secret. Check out her full statement below.

If you want to watch the remainder of episodes of Starter Wives Confidential you will have to go online to TLC.com.

Ask me why? ::Long pause::

Is it ratings? Is it a change in network direction…or all the outside drama?!

It’s no secret Starter Wives Confidential was plagued by legal inquiries and possible lawsuits from the beginning. Starting with Shanequa Tompkins being missing from all the episodes, her ex 50 cent allegedly had an agreement or contract with her of some sort that either prevented or made it difficult for her to partake in the show. I know before taping even began I was questioned about my posts relating to anyone connected with Lamar Odom. Luckily TLC had no control over what I do or can post so it became a non-issue. I never did find out who was putting pressure on them. Cut to the Lil Kim situation, one which I’m still confused about and can’t even confirm if there is a law suit.

Bringing a show with women of color to TLC we always knew was a challenge and I love that they believed in our stories and gave us a voice. A voice, honesty, love, a lot of drama, and a bit of ratchetness. (Usually required for any good reality show.)
I can only imagine there were a lot of people who were afraid what would come out on Starter Wives Confidential and as you saw from the first few episodes, the ladies were NOT holding back! Trust me it gets better and much juicier. But I digress. (I always wanted to say that in a post.)

I want to say that from the very bottom of my soul the support and love from viewers was more amazing then I imagined. Even the haters felt our show was genuine. I love that personally I got to not only bond with 5 amazing women but was allowed to show that not all celebrity wives sit home, model, or are simpletons. For the first time people got to know who I really am, if even just a little bit.

So it SUCKS that you have to watch episodes online but it beeeez like that sometimes. But make sure you still log onto http://www.mommysdirtylittlesecret.com everyday for the latest news, gossip, and info (c’mon y’all know me by now, why pretend anymore #endlesspromotion #bossb**ch #keepitmovin #letmefinish)

P.S. I realize I didn’t answer why we are not being aired anymore…you will just have to judge for yourself. ::Closes the shades carefully as she writes and presses send::
- Monica Taylor

While many will probably be relieved to hear the news that another ratchet reality show has been booted off of the air, I can’t help but feel a bit sad for a cast member  like Tashera Simmons, who avoided drama and was just utilizing the show as a means of supporting her children.

What do you think of the show being pulled off of the air?

Jazmine Denise is a news writer for Madame Noire. Follow her on Twitter @jazminedenise.

When we announced that DMX was going to appear on the second season of “Iyanla Fix My Life,” I’m pretty sure the heavens opened up and an angel descended from the clouds above. Never have any of us been so excited about someone appearing on a reality type show before, but we all know DMX needs help — a lot of it — and that’s why we had to ask his soon-to-be ex-wife about his appearance on the show when we caught up with her at the premiere of “Starter Wives.”

Tashera is one of six women who will appear on the new TLC reality show featuring the exes of popular celebrity men who were basically with these guys from the start but got kicked to the wayside somewhere along the way, like after the fame came. Tashera and DMX tried reality TV once to make their relationship work when they appeared on “Couples Therapy,” but Tashera wasn’t willing to do that again when the opportunity to participate in “Iyanla Fix My Life” came around. She did participate for her own healing though, and as she told us last week, Iyanla not only got in DMX’s butt, but her’s too. Check out what she had to say about the experience in the video above.

In case you were in need of another reality show to add to your rotation, TLC recently dropped a trailer for its upcoming reality show Starter Wives Confidential. If you recall, back in September we told you guys that the production of a show starring the exes of some entertainers whom most of us were quite familiar with was in the works. The show’s cast was said to include:

Zakia Baum: Ex-girlfriend of Jermaine “Maino” Coleman and mother of his son.

Cheryl Caruso: Ex-wife of mobster Phillip Caruso and mother of his two daughters.

Josie Harris: Ex-girlfriend of Floyd Mayweather and mother of his three children.

Monica Joseph-Taylor: soon to be ex-wife of Aston “Funkmaster Flex” Taylor and mother to his two children.

Tashera Simmons: Ex-wife of Earl “DMX” Simmons and mother of four of his children.

Liza Morales: Ex-girlfriend of Lamar Odom and mother of his three children.

Shaniqua Tompkins: Ex-girlfriend of Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson and mother of his son.

The trailer depicts the women forming some sort of emotional support group as they bond over the struggles of single motherhood. Many seemed somewhat opposed to the show for pretty obvious and understandable reasons. We all realize that we don’t need another show depicting women in a negative light. Call me an optimist, but judging by the trailer, the show doesn’t look like it will necessarily fit into the drink-throwing, ratchet reality television mold that we’re used to. There appears to be a teeny tiny chance that it may go in a different direction.

Somewhere deep down inside, I’m hoping that this particular show will rise above current reality television standard and bring forth something positive. I’m hoping that instead of resorting to cattiness and bickering with one another after a couple of episodes, the ladies will rally around each other and positively represent single mothers. But again, this is reality television we’re talking about and I could be overly optimistic.

The show will premiere Tuesday, January 29th at 10 pm EST.

Check out the trailer on the next page and judge for yourselves. Will Starter Wives Confidential just be another ratchet reality show that negatively depicts Black women?

Tashera Simmons is destined to become a reality TV repeat offender because according to The Huffington Post she has been added to the cast of a new show on TLC about the exes of famous men that we told you a little bit about last week.

Earlier this year, we saw Tashera trying to work through her issues with her rapper husband DMX on VH1′s “Couples Therapy.” Now since things didn’t work out and Earl Simmons is now her soon-to-be ex-husband, it’s only right she get on another reality show about life after DMX, right?

Apparently that’s the plan and from my view, “Starter Wives,” the name of TLC’s new series, is clearly going to be the hood version of “Hollywood Exes” if the line-up the Post is reporting is accurate. According to the site, these are the leading ladies who will be joining Lamar Odom and 50 Cent’s exes, which we mentioned last week.

Zakia Baum: Ex-girlfriend of Jermaine “Maino” Coleman and mother of his son.

Cheryl Caruso: Ex-wife of mobster Phillip Caruso and mother of his two daughters.

Josie Harris: Ex-girlfriend of Floyd Mayweather and mother of his three children.

Monica Joseph-Taylor: soon to be ex-wife of Aston “Funkmaster Flex” Taylor and mother to his two children.

Tashera Simmons: Ex-wife of Earl “DMX” Simmons and mother of four of his children.

Liza Morales: Ex-girlfriend of Lamar Odom and mother of his three children.

Shaniqua Tompkins: Ex-girlfriend of Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson and mother of his son.

I’m not trying to knock anyone’s hustle, but most of these women we’ve never even heard of — and the men they were with are nowhere near on the same level as the guys the ladies of “Hollywood Exes” were married to. But then again, the entire cast of “Love & Hip Hop” were unknowns at some point and 3.5 million viewers still tuned in faithfully to their drama every Monday night. I just don’t want this to be another hood booger, my ex-man ain’t ish type of show because if you’re not with him anymore, why is he still relevant to your life? And if it’s because you have children together, you need to think about whether it’s really beneficial to speak ill of their father on national TV.

Regardless of my speculation on that note, it’s clear The Learning Channel (TLC) is interested in transitioning into the semi-ratchet channel and getting in on some of that VH1 cash money with a show like this that doesn’t just include black rapper wives but a mobster too. TLC is an equal opportunity exploiter though considering the success of their “Toddlers and Tiaras” pageant spin off ”Here Comes Honey Boo Boo.” I just hope these women can keep the fighting to a minimum.

What’s your take on “Starter Wives?”

More on Madame Noire!

• Starlets, Unsung: 7 Stories Of Lesser Known Black Women
• There’s Just Something About R. Kelly: Can We Hate The Sin, And Not The Sinner?
• Fear And Other Things: 14 Unhealthy Reasons To Stay In A Relationship
• Forget Bandz! 7 Things That Will REALLY Make Her Dance”
• We Love You Essence, But We’re Going To Need You To Get Some New Cover Subjects
• Catty! Nicki Minaj Cusses Mariah Carey Out On American Idol Set
• Caught Up In College: A Cuffing Season Tale

Source: Vibevixen.com

I didn’t make it to the end of the “Couple’s Therapy” series on VH1 but anyone who saw just a tiny bit of the show or knew anything about DMX and his relationship with Tashera Simmons figured a divorce was long overdo for the couple—everyone except DMX that is. During the season finale, Tashera shocked her cheating rapper husband of 14 years by telling him she wanted a divorce and now months later she’s speaking to Essence about her decision and what brought her to this place.

One thing that sticks out in Tashera’s interview is despite all of the affairs, illegitimate children, and drug abuse she’s suffered through with DMX over the years, she’s still not totally, 100 percent sure this is what she wants to do. When the magazine asked her if she’s officially decided to file for divorce, she told them:

“Yes and no. There’s so much to be decided on, so we’re actually in the process of filling now. Our lawyers want to give us advice. On the show, he was really stunned, and he couldn’t believe it. I don’t know why. After going through all the stuff we did — after he did all the things he has done and after us going through therapy — I was just like, I couldn’t leave [the show] without asking for a divorce.”

Essence asked Tashera how she feels about taking the bold leap to legally dissolve their relationship and how she thinks she and X ended up in the place they’re in today and she told them:

“I felt like it was time. I’m [about] self-empowerment now, and I was so totally over the situation. I want to help other women, so I knew I needed to put my relationship on Front Street so they could see what I was dealing with, and what I chose to do.

“To be honest with you, I’m not perfect. But overall, when I really look back, I wouldn’t change a thing. As far as when you say ‘mistakes’ in our marriage, I know that the mistake I made, as a woman, was that I sacrificed too much of myself in that relationship. I just felt like it went unnoticed. But I would do it again because me and X started when we were 18 years old, so it’s really like we have 24 years together. I learned so much [from] my journey with him, so I wouldn’t change that. I’m definitely open to dating and new beginnings. I just feel that next time I will definitely know my self worth, and I would never sacrifice so much of myself again. I was so young. X and I met when we were 11. I didn’t know anything else. But, as a grown woman now, shame on me if I ever do that again. “

Amen to that. Tashera had some advice for other women who could find themselves in her position as well:

“I would definitely tell them to make sure they stand for what they believe in and what they want for themselves. They will get sucked in if they don’t. I was young, and I always thought I had a dream about what I wanted in a man, but when you’re young and you don’t really know, you can easily get sucked in.”

Tashera’s also got a pretty good idea of what she wants in a man the next time around:

“Definitely someone who’s not so self-centered,” she said. “I don’t say that in a negative way, but you know, X has a lot of issues. I can speak openly about it now, because, you know, everyone saw Couples Therapy, and they saw how X had a lot of childhood issues. So, I’m looking for somebody where we can meet halfway on everything, and it’s not always about that person…I don’t want someone to lose themselves in me either.”

I can only imagine how DMX is feeling right now but Tashera stuck it out with this man for far longer than most would have been able to. She gave him umpteenth chances to do right by himself and her and he just couldn’t do it. The question is do you think she’ll really go through with the filing?

More on Madame Noire!

• What Happened? 7 Popular Artists Who Went MIA At The Peak of Their Fame
• The Unnecessary Attack on Alicia Keys’ Body: When Bragging On Your Wife Goes Wrong
• Build-Up Ain’t Cute: 5 Things You Should Know About Dandruff
• Evening Eye Candy: Delicious Model BJ Williams
• Where You Been Kim Coles?
• Jealous? Why You Should Be At Peace With Yourself Before Entering A Relationship
• Where Are They Now? Kids From a Few of Our Favorite Black TV Shows

“Couples Therapy” has become my new addiction. I can honestly say I had absolutely no intention of watching it until I saw the interview we conducted with Tashera Simmons. Listening to her speak, you could tell that she was sincere. She wasn’t going on the show to get chose, to launch her singing career or to throw drinks on her cast mates. She was going on the show to work on her relationship with her husband and friend, Earl, aka DMX.

So I watched, just to see how they would interact with one another. Eventually I grew to like the other housemates too; but for me, it was all about DMX and Tashera. And like many of you all, I was saddened and even disgusted by the way he spoke to her in the first episode. Disgusted because it was completely disrespectful and dismissive but also saddened because I just got the sense that he wasn’t a horrible person. That he just had some major issues he needed to address. As more and more episodes air, you can see that DMX really loves Tashera. It’s just that the way he knows how to love her is not nearly enough. Surely, a few of us have come across a man who loved us but was dealing with issues that blocked him from showing or expressing it in a way that was consistent or acceptable.

Well, we’re finally seeing what DMX’ block is. It’s his mother.

I know that sounds like Freud 101, but in this instance, she is a huge reason why DMX wants to “fawk as many women as he can until his d*%k falls off.” It’s no coincidence that he seeks inappropriate affection from women when his own mother denied the healthy kind she should have given him as a child.

I haven’t seen the entire episode yet but a 3:00 minute clip turned out to be very revealing.

It’s almost too hard to watch. Not only because those are real emotions for DMX but also because those emotions are real for people in our lives too. In my own extended family, the words “I love you,” get caught up in people’s throats. My mother told me that when she was growing up, her parents, my grandparents, never told she or her siblings that they loved them. Now, she could feel that they did; but as human beings that’s not enough, we need to hear those words. So when she grew up, she started telling my grandmother and grandfather that she loved them when they got off the phone with one another. Initially, she said both my grandparents had a hard time with the words. Sometimes you can feel something so strongly that it physically pains you to express it. But thankfully, they got over it and started saying “I love you too.” And it got easier and easier. Eventually they were able to say it first, to all their children. By the time I came along, my grandparents were always telling my sister and I they loved us. I didn’t know until I got older that it took them years, decades to get to that place. I just reaped the benefits of my mother’s initiative.

So I included this video and I’m writing this piece as a gentle reminder to all of us that our actions, while important, aren’t always enough. We need the words too. Because being able to say you love someone is an action in and of itself. If you have people in your family who’ve never told you they love you, it might not be a bad idea for you to say it first. Chances are, they’ll say it back. And if they don’t, you’ve been honest about your feelings. If you have children and the words burn in your throat, I pray to God you find a way to let them out because DMX has told us and shown us that no matter how old we are and how tough we think we are, we all need to be somebody’s baby and we all need to hear these three words.

More on Madame Noire!

• Jaded, Or Just Realistic: Which Are You?
• Being a Junkie: Hi, My Name is Victoria, and I’m Addicted to Natural Hair Products
• Was There No Better Way? Cops Cuff 6-Year-Old After Throwing Tantrum
• We All Have Good Hair: A Breakdown of Curl Patterns
• Yandy Says Don’t Knock Her Pregnant-Girl-In-The-Club Hustle
• Still Waiting: Will You Ever Be More Than “Friends”?
• Ask A Very Smart Brotha Live: Carpal Tunnel & 2 a.m.Texts
• “Ask a Black Man” Episode 4: The Marriage Episode [Extended Cut]

Tashera Simmons and her estranged husband DMX probably never thought they’d have to turn to reality television to improve the state of their relationship, but it seems that the VH1 program “Couples Therapy,” answered Tashera’s prayers. The mother of four said that therapy was the best thing that happened to her and called it a life changing experience for her and her husband. See what else she had to say about the Couples Therapy experience, which airs tonight on VH1.

Click here for part 1 of our interview with Tashera.

More on Madame Noire!

• That’s My Cousin! Famous Black Celebrities Who Are Related
• Why I’m Concerned about Lala and Her Fake Full Court Life
• Before the Money, Honey: Women Who Stood By Their Men Before and After the Fame
• Where Are They Now? The Cast of “A Different World”
• Confessions of a Loud Black Woman
• Is He Dating Other People? 7 Signs You’re One Of Many
• Trayvon Martin, His Witness and What We Should Be Teaching Our Children About Racism
• Should Black Folks Feel Obligated To Speak To Each Other?