All Articles Tagged "relationship questions"
Dornice: Why are men intimidate d by a strong independent Black WOMEN
DY: Maybe they’re just intimidated by people who feel the need to capitalize WOMAN. I know I am.
Shannon: What makes a woman a wifey type? Or what makes a woman not?
DY: Don’t think there’s any such thing as a “wifey type.” Who a man decides to “wife” up depends on the man and his own likes, dislikes, and circumstance.
Shannon: Thanks Damon Young….one last question ..do you think there is a such thing as a too independent woman?
DY: I really wish someone would bury this notion that a woman’s “independence” is keeping worthy men away from her. That just does not happen. I will say, though, that “single” behavior and “relationship” behavior are two separate things — the type of mindset that’s necessary when single may need to be adjusted when entering a relationship — but that goes for men and women.
Alicia: What do think of young women with older men? I’m 22 graduating next spring. I’ve been seeing men in their 30-40s?
DY: I’m not going judge. As long as you’re both adults, happiness is where you find it. But, I will ask you this: What would you think about a 27 year old man who dated nothing but 18 year olds?
Alicia: I do think it’s a bit odd. But why do men like younger women?
DY: There are tons of possible reasons why. But the main reason is that younger women are “easier” and, subsequently, easier to control. There’s a power dynamic there that their age and experience — and the income that often comes with age and experience — gives them.
Pittsburgh native Damon Young (aka “The Champ”) is the co-founder of the ridiculously popular VerySmartBrothas.com Their first book “Your Degrees Won’t Keep You Warm At Night: The Very Smart Brothas Guide To Dating, Mating and Fighting Crime” is available at Amazon.com.
Kat: Why is it that men say they want a successful woman, then they get one that’s more successful than they are and there’s a problem? DY: For some (not all, but some) men, wanting a “successful” woman basically means that they want someone who’s successful enough to take care of herself, but not so successful that she outshines him. Basically, it’s an ego thing. Gina: Why do men feel they can be vulgar and inappropriate on dating sites knowing they wouldn’t make the same comments/introductions in person? Do they think intelligent women really respond to that? DY: They do it because they know it wouldn’t fly in person. In person it might get you smacked. Online, though, the worst that can happen is an ignore. Tracee: How can a woman get out,of,being friend zoned all the time? DY: In my experience, when women are friend-zoned repeatedly, it’s largely due to them accepting the “accommodating/cool homegirl” role and hoping that’ll change. What you need to do instead is be honest — with men and with yourself — and upfront about your expectations. And, if someone isn’t interested in you like that, don’t “hang around” hoping they’ll change their mind. Kgothatso: Is it normal for a man to dump a woman because he says “she loves him too much?” DY: Normal? Yes. I’ve heard that excuse before. Thing is, it’s just a way of him saying he doesn’t love you without him actually saying it. Sharigurl: We were dating and then he backed off then he said he wanted to just be friends so I took that to mean he didn’t want to see me anymore. However, he calls and or texts everyday to talk about nothing or really important things like his relationship with his kids and his life or to check in on me. I really like this man but do I need to move on ? DY: Yes, you do need to back off. What he’s doing is a classic move where men keep you close while also freeing himself up to see other people. Pittsburgh native Damon Young (aka “The Champ”) is the co-founder of the ridiculously popular VerySmartBrothas.com Their first book “Your Degrees Won’t Keep You Warm At Night: The Very Smart Brothas Guide To Dating, Mating and Fighting Crime” is available at Amazon.com.
“What would you do if your lover said he was jealous of your relationship with God?”Whoa. A deep one. Before I decided to freak out and start flipping tables, I asked for clarification:
“It depended on how he said it. Jealous like he’s trying to get like me or jealous like he wants some of that attention?”She responded:
“The attention God gets from you.”I had permission to go all the way in.
“Gurl, that’s crazy. That almost sounds like something a potential abuser would say. I would be tempted to be done. But first I would tell him he should never expect to have more of my attention than God does. Everybody–and for real everybody in your life– will leave you voluntarily or involuntarily at some point. Why would I neglect the one ‘person’ who is not only the reason for my existence by who will never leave me all for some rusty behind dude?!? It don’t make good sense.”
In this week’s edition of “Ask A Very Smart Brotha,” Damon was back on our Facebook page taking relationships during our bi-weekly, hour-long live chat. He got some pretty interesting ones. And there are a couple that seem really complex that he makes quite simple. Check out his answers below.
Joanna: I do? If a man meets a woman who is single, no children, & has a 500 credit score, does that automatically disqualify her from the pursuit of a relationship??
DY: Depends on the man. Some are credit Nazis, some would be cool with it if they saw you were making better financial decisions now, and some don’t give a damn as long as you have a big booty.
Another week, another relationship question and answer session with Damon Young. There were some interesting questions this week that really illustrate the difficulties–or the perceived difficulties–women have with dating and relationships. Take a look at the selected questions below and let us know if you agree with Damon’s advice.
Comeakco: A man tells a woman he needs space due to her consistent temper issues. They can talk on the phone but he wants space to figure this out. The woman seeks advice from two different men. One man says do not give him space. try to work it out. the other guy says give him what he ask for (space). Your thoughts?? Space or no Space? lol
DY: If the man asked for space, give him space. I mean, think about what you’re asking here. He has a problem with your anger issues. Wouldn’t you saying “No. I won’t give you space” be exactly what he was talking about?
Comeakco: Lmbo…I guess you’re right.
I’ve been in a really bad relationship for 12 years with my husband. He cheated on me about a year ago and we separated because of it. Fast forward to 3 months ago. I have been having crushes on guys and I can’t say anything to them because I’m still miserably married. Some of these guys don’t even know that I’m interested in them. They all know that I’m married. Please help, what should I do?Dear Constipated Crush, Of the many latent themes present throughout the fifth season of “The Wire” — aka “the best American piece of art ever made” — the one that I’ve found the most applicable to my own life is the concept of “fresh eyes.” Sometimes you can get so bogged down in a situation or circumstance, that it’s hard for you to make good assessments, and you need to bring someone else to help you. Basically, you need “fresh eyes.” For instance, a few months ago my car was acting strange. Making weird noises, riding awkwardly, and just not handling the way I was use to. First, I thought it was my engine. Then the brakes. Then the shocks. I couldn’t figure out what it was, so I made an appointment to see a mechanic. The day before the appointment, I drove to my parent’s house. My dad happened to be on the porch. The first thing he said to me when I greeted him? “Son, you need some new tires.”
Kandace: Well I have a question when a man completely goes outside in his car for 2 hours and then I catch him and he says that he just came back from the store and I know that’s a lie do you think he’s talking to another female.
And just because this person’s response was too funny:
Sierra: ^^wtf YES or he beating his meat which is still rather weird
DY: Maybe. And maybe he just wants to get away while you watch Scandal.