Source: Shutterstock

YourTango

I was talking to one of my female clients in her early 40’s that has never been married.  She told me that she tends to be attracted to men by mostly looks and finds that these relationships sizzle out and don’t move forward as she would hoped for.  So how do you find true love that will last?

Yes, looks are important from the standpoint that you have to be attracted to your mate.  Especially with women, attraction can grow as you get to know someone over time.  However what most of us are looking for is someone who makes us feel special, exudes warmth and is someone we can trust.

Case in point – my husband wasn’t initially on my radar.  He is a quieter guy and relates better one on one.  I met him through a bicycling group in the DC area.  I had to give him a chance to get to know him.  As I spent more time with him, the more I liked him.  I found out that we shared many values in common, had the same life goals and saw things on the same wavelength.  He became more attractive to me over time.

On the other hand, with someone that I though was cute and definitely had my look, I noticed some personality clashes.  I found out that he did not appreciate me for who I really am – a social person.  He got mad at me when I talked to other people at a community pool that I have been a member of for many years. And yet he was off swimming laps when I was having this conversation!  He became less attractive to me when he got jealous of me talking to my friends.

In recent years the 3 top ways that people meet their mates are:

1. Through friends and face to face interactions such as social gatherings.

2. Through school or work.  Here you see people day in and day out.  You get to know them on a deeper level and see how they operate with others over time.

3. Through online dating.  This method expands your network and you don’t really get to see the person until after you have selected them from their profiles (Is it accurate?) emails back and forth and eventually have phone contact with you.   So here, physical attractiveness is not able to be determined until you meet face to face.

Each way of meeting someone has a different mode of gathering information about someone to find out if they truly are a good life partner.

Read more on YourTango.com.

Hey fashionistas! Looking for some style inspiration? Or better yet, looking to skewer the style choices of some of the biggest names in Hollywood (or black Hollywood at least)? Why, you’ve come to the right place m’dears. Let’s take a look at who was killing it on the red carpet and for Fashion Week, and who could have done a lot better, and needed to be stopped.

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Somebody loves leather! Actress Tika Sumpter arrived at the Urbanworld Film Festival for a screening of “Being Mary Jane” in NYC in an all black (and gray) ensemble and a bright red pout. She wore black leather (or pleather) bottoms with a sleeveless peplum leather top, and accessorized with pointed toe suede booties and a gray and brown newsboy cap. Don’t forget about that black bag with its chain link detail, and I’m digging the bone-straight hair. All in all, I would have mixed up the materials and probably not done leather on leather, and instead maybe tried some fly printed pants to get some extra color in there. She doesn’t look bad, but I was definitely looking for a bit more excitement (we couldn’t even get a bright bag?). I would pass on an ensemble like this.

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Source: fashionincsociety.blogspot.com

I don’t know about you, but after looking at this man, I’m certain that I need more chocolate in my diet and in my life. BJ Williams is beautiful! This brotha with his light eyes and sparkling smile is the type of model we need more of in the magazines, and his abs are extra proof of that! The model hailing from Las Vegas is on the come-up, appearing in ads for the likes of Sean John, Levis, and doing spreads for GQ, Ebony and more over the years. If you’re trying to see what he’s working with, you’re welcome to click through this slideshow (though I know how you all are about slideshows…). We promise you won’t be disappointed by this delectable piece of man meat!

If Tolula Adeyemi were a superhero, then she would be known as, “The Chameleon.” The London-born model/actress/DJ keeps us guessing with her apparent love of shaking things up stylistically. One day she’s embracing a rocker chic look, the next she’s emitting bohemian vibes and the day after that she’s almost unrecognizable with a fresh hairstyle.

The best part? No one questions it. She isn’t pegged as ‘a woman that tries too hard’ nor does she become lost in the clothes she’s wearing. In fact, her innate sense of style inspires others like Vivienne Westwood whom has labeled her a muse and numerous publications that have profiled her style like Essence and Vogue Italia.

We’ve decided to join their good company and round up our favorite looks by the style maven. Click ‘Next’ and prepare to be impressed!

Greetings Noirette stylistas and fashionistas! To be honest with you, this hasn’t been the most exciting week for fashion. For the most part, a lot of celebs flew overseas to London and thought they’d make their best fashion statements there. Most folks were caught out looking underwhelming, but these four celebrities wore fits that at least caught our eye and kept our attention. Time to figure out if they stood out for being hot or a hot mess. Let’s get started.

Hey hey now! Kelly Rowland attended the Glamour Women of the Year Awards in London this week where she picked up a “Woman of the Year” accolade for being “Best TV personality.” She stunned on the red carpet in this black and white Maria Grachvogel dress. The halter dress was a sleek number that gave the singer/TV personality the chance to showcase her toned arms. She kept the hair straight and sleek as well, wore a simple bangle with a few rings and large hoops and showed folks how to do the statuesque look to a T. Loving the dress, loving the hair (though I probably would have worn it up), and she just looks all around fab. Check out the back too! Steal.

By Jouelzy

Virgin Brazilian, Malaysian, Peruvian, Cambodian. Exotic hair is all the rage. But the price tag doesn’t quite work for a lot of folks. Don’t be ashamed if you’re still purchasing your hair from the local beauty supply store and can’t get the silky looks of the stars.  No need to compensate by buying the most expensive hair in the store either. There are ways to achieve a great look without breaking the bank. Even synthetic weaves can look fabulous and cost you less than $50. Here are some tips on maintaining a weave that doesn’t cost an arm and a leg. Whether it’s synthetic or human hair, it’s going to look real and real good on you.

1.  Cut the hair to shape your face.
Don’t just sew or glue in two packs of weave from the store and rock it, because it is going to look stiff and fake. You have to alter it to fit your features and the look you’re going for. The easiest trick to creating a more realistic look is by simply layering the hair and shaping it to your face. Rather then doing a blunt cut, shear the hair at an angle with a razor. Razor combs will do the trick and provide soft angles, even if you’re a novice at cutting your hair.

2. Be aware that your hair has a short(er) lifespan
Know that with a budget weave the longevity is short. Preferably, only keep in the weave for a month. With a little extra care you can stretch it out to about two months. You want to limit the product you put in it and wrap your hair with a silk scarf every night. The key word is ‘care,’ and that will largely determine the longevity of your weave. The less ‘care’ you put into maintaining it, the less time you can make that hair last.

3. Put down the product
Once again, the less products you put in your hair, the better. Product buildup is a sure-fire way to kill a weave. The most you want to do is condition the hair and oil your scalp. And you ONLY oil your scalp NOT the hair. When you’re wearing a synthetic weave, no product allowed. Put down the Let’s Jam! and ampro gel, and stick to light hair products.

4. Keep it short and sweet
Sorry to those who are dying to have hair down to their butts. At longer lengths, folks will already be searching extra hard for your tracks, but full, shoulder-length hair has a more realistic appeal, especially if you are using synthetic hair. The rule of thumb is bra-strap length, and remember to layer the hair.

5. Say no to flat top
All-in-one packs are very tempting, but they’re also too thin. We’re not even talking big hair, just make sure you have enough hair to make it look full and have body. The worst is when your weave is too flat on the top and you can see straight though the hair. You can do the all-in-one packs, just grab two. You should still be within budget.

6. To blend or to sew, that is the question…
Understand that you are purchasing hair that is of a lesser quality. That’s not particularly a bad thing. But attempting to blend your hair with synthetic hair can go all types of wrong. You may be able to get away with certain brands of human hair, but check the luster of the hair and meter if you want to really go through the daily pains of blending your hair. Full weave is usually the way to go. Just add an invisible part for a bit more dimension, and enjoy a fly style that fits within your price range.

Jouelzy offers tutorials on all aspects of Black hair care via her YouTube channel, focusing on women with tight budgets. You can also find her daily hair tips and inspirations on Facebook.

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By Taylor Lea Thomas

Source: Brides.com

Hey stylish brides! White is no longer the only option. We all remember the lovely Cynthia Bailey’s platinum-colored gown custom made by New York designer Rubin Singer. During New York’s Bridal Fashion Week, several wedding designers unveiled a variety of colors for their Spring 2013 collections. In particular, Vera Wang, the undisputed queen of wedding gowns who has dressed celebrity brides such as Toni Braxton, La La Anthony, Jennifer Lopez, and the Kardashian sisters, among others, opted to not have white wedding dresses in her entire Spring 2013 collection. Here are a few highlights, and who knows, they might give you some ideas for your own gown:

Source: Brides.com

Source: Brides.com

Source: Brides.com

Source: Brides.com

Source: Brides.com

Source: Brides.com

Would you ever consider wearing a bridal gown that’s not white?

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You know what time it is! Style to Steal or Girl, Stop time! We’re lucky this week to have so much to work with when it comes to the fashion choices of our favorite celeb women. And the trend seems to be that it’s time to pull those legs back out from hiding! Let’s take a look at the week’s best and worst ensembles to figure out who should stop it, and who we want to steal from ASAP.

Doing media rounds at fuse Studios this week, Ashanti showed up in this skintight, long-sleeved dress and got lots of attention. The color-block dress was a mix of black, orange, tan and baby blue, and she accessorized the look with bow-accented strappy black stilettos, sparkly bracelets, a few bold rings, and some HUGE statement earrings. I think homegirl should have stayed with one shade for her jewelry, but I have to give her credit: that dress looks great on her little figure.  Plus, the makeup is looking fun and fresh. Steal!

Happy Friday Madames! It’s the end of the week, so of course it’s time to take a look at all of this week’s fashion choices from the stars. Per the usual, we’re going to figure out whose style picks we would steal, and which sistas we would beg to stop. Let’s get it!

The very lovely Jennifer Hudson arrived at the Rainforest Fund event in NYC this week in this flowing Reem Acra gown. The nude dress had an ornate gold bust and midsection, with a flowing floor-length skirt. Love the small but intricate necklace and bracelets, as well as the large cocktail ring. And her hair is looking very on-point as well. Love the color, love the look on her, so I’m going to have to steal it!

Ri-Ri, Ci-Ci and So Lo were all over the world yesterday working hard for their money (or looking good for the hell of it), and we’re going to check out their style choices and determine if they are fantastic or fashion fails. Time to hop to it!

Say what you want about Rihanna, but the girl knows what works for her figure. And she didn’t play herself in this olive dress that she wore in London yesterday for the Battleship photocall. She paired the dress with some pointed-toe black heels (me smell Louboutins…), a cool twisted bangle, and some large gold hoops. I can actually appreciate the simplicity of it all, and the bangs with the soft curls are a smart touch. It’s classy, but still a risque Rihanna look. Steal!