All Articles Tagged "jealousy"
No one goes into a relationship with the thought that they will fall out of love. But, in some relationships, love just doesn’t last a lifetime. While you may still care about the person you’re in a relationship with or were in a relationship with, looking at things now, you realize that the love you once had is gone. If you don’t understand why, here are a few likely reasons.
I never believe anyone who says, “I don’t have a jealous bone in my body.” Everyone has experienced some form of jealousy in life, whether it is amongst siblings, friends or even successful people we don’t know. Experiencing jealousy, however, does not make you a jealous person.
My sister-friend has been dating a guy for two months and it has been going great. So much so, she was pretty sure she was ready to take it to the next level with him. Two weeks ago, we were having lunch and she was constantly wondering what he was doing while he was out of town. If he took too long to return a text, she’d repeatedly check her messages and then ultimately send new text messages until he responded.
Four days ago, the guy suggested that they take a break after he caught her going through his phone following a night out where she’d questioned him about every woman to whom he spoke. Infidelity in my sister-friend’s past relationships was one part of the reason she was acting this way. The larger issue was that her insecurities were running rampant and because she really liked this guy she was afraid of losing him. Ironically, her own jealous actions lost him faster than another woman ever could.
Read more at Essence.com
Kelly Rowland is going there for her latest single, “Dirty Laundry.” In a heartfelt, slow tempo-ed ballad Rowland opens up about her bittersweet feelings about Beyonce’s success and enduring an abusive relationship.
In the first verse she explains how the Destiny’s Child split caused her to feel conflicted:
While my sister was on stage killin’ like a motherf–ker
I was enraged feelin’ it like a motherf–ker
Bird in the cage, you would never know what I was dealin’ with
Went our separate ways but I was happy she was killin’ it
Bitter sweet, she was up I was down
No lie I feel good for her, but what do I do now?
Wow! While we all could have guessed that Kelly was feeling a bit jealous, (It’s only a natural reaction to watching someone you grow up with reach the heights you’re trying to achieve in your own career.), we’d guess she’s had a conversation with Beyonce about all of this. Still, to put this out for public consumption took some real big lady balls. Then, as if that weren’t enough, she goes on to explain her psychologically and physically abusive relationship.
Meanwhile this N***a putting his hands on me
Swear ya’ll don’t know the half of this industry.
And it’s almost been a decade…
Kinda lucky I was in her shadow.
Phone call from my sister, what’s the matter?
She said “oh no baby, you gotta leave.”
I was mad at everybody. Yeah her… everybody.
Started to call them people on me. I was battered
He hitting the window like it was me, until it was shattered.
He pulled me out and said ‘Don’t nobody love you but me.’
Not yo mama, not ya daddy and especially not Bey.
He turned me against my sister, I missed her.
So intense. Now, you know we’re trying to figure out who was this man Kelly’s talking about. There are a couple of clues. When she says industry, does she mean music industry or just famous? Is she speaking about her ex fiancee? Somebody else she kept under wraps? She says it was almost a decade ago. Either way, he was one sick dude, attempting to mess with her head like that.
We could play this guessing game for weeks; but whoever this man is, we respect the fact that the 32 year old singer is lending her voice and image to the pervasive issue that is domestic violence. This song and her admissions just further prove that domestic violence is an issue women in all tax brackets and stature have the potential to experience this type of violence.
Check out the song in its entirety on the next page.
Death to Facebook and their invasive notifications! Seriously! Not too long ago, I was scrolling through my news feed and realized another one of my “friends” was engaged, and the comments kept rolling in.
“Ah man, I’m so happy for the both of you.”
“When’s the wedding? I better get an invite!”
The comments continued for God knows how long. So I did the polite thing, hit the “LIKE” button and kept it moving. I logged off and checked Instagram, and I was only two or three pictures in, and what do I see? Another college buddy of mine who posted pics of their wedding.
“You look gorgeous!”
“So proud of you two! Congrats again.”
“That dress is everything!”
By this point, I was scared to check Twitter because If I saw an I’m-expecting-my-first child-Tweet, I don’t think I would’ve been able to handle it!
I’m six years removed from college and I feel like I’m just getting started in a lot of aspects of my life. I’ve finally found my dream gig, working in the entertainment-media industry after years of trying to climb through the back window. But now that I’m finally here, folks are starting families and buying homes. It makes me wonder–Am I behind in life?
Read more on HelloBeautiful.com.
There is only one difference between the crazy girlfriend and the cool girlfriend: the crazy one says what’s on her mind all the time. But be real: we all have mean, rude, selfish, paranoid and even insane thoughts occasionally. The trick to a successful relationship is gaining control over those thoughts, and learning when to speak up and when to bite your tongue, count to ten, and let it pass.
A few years ago, I was invited to attend a promotional event that focused on African-American authors and relationships. The atmosphere was filled with laughter, intriguing conversation, and a number of single, attractive men and women. At about 9:30 p.m., an extremely handsome gentleman walked through the doors of the venue with his business partner and took a seat just as I was getting ready to speak about my book. Shortly after my presentation, the event ended and instantly turned into a “mix and mingle” networking session. As all of the authors and attendees engaged in conversation, I started gathering my things to head home.
Before I could finish putting my things away, the handsome gentleman made his way over to me and began what was his form of flattery. He began the conversation very casually and smoothly by complimenting my presentation and the concept of my book. He then shifted the conversation toward discussing several marketing strategies with me. Before long, we exchanged information. Shortly after our initial conversation, I contacted him to gather more information about marketing; and then soon after that we were emailing, calling, and texting each other almost every day to discuss everything but marketing. We repeated this pattern for about two to three weeks, and before I knew it, we were in an intense relationship. During the beginning stages of our relationship I was on the path of starting my writing career, so there were a number of events I was invited to attend to speak, book signings and invitations to provide commentary or other articles for various magazines, etc. So of course, while all of these wonderful things were happening to me, I shared them with my new significant other. Initially, he celebrated with me, but as more doors opened for me in my professional career, he seemed to be happy, but he expressed it differently.
While my then-mate congratulated me on my small victories, he would say things like, ‘Let me see what writing I can do for this magazine,’ or ‘you know how I do things…I spend my evening with stars and meeting all sorts of people,’ so on and so on. It also seemed as though every time I shared something with him, he would say what he was going to do next, or what he was planning to do. Initially, this didn’t bother me because I simply thought he was sharing his small victories and plans with me, but as time went on and he consistently mentioned all of his victories to me, I noticed how his attitude towards my success changed. He suddenly became disinterested in hearing about my accomplishments (not that I shared all of them or threw them in his face), if he couldn’t make it to an event he wouldn’t ask me how things went, and if he did ask about the event he would say things that were demeaning and discouraging. As I started noticing these changes, I thought I was being overly sensitive to the fact that he wasn’t as interested and excited about my small victories as I was, so I gave it some more time and more observation of his character; and sure enough I was right…he was trying to compete with me.
Did he openly admit that we were in a competition…no; but the signs were all there. He wouldn’t celebrate with me as much, nor would he even try to motivate me as he once did, amongst other things. I initally thought to myself, maybe he’s intimidated by me, or maybe he just wants to focus in more on his career because as my career grew, I noticed that he worked hard at getting his career off the ground and stable. Who knows? But at that time in my life I felt as though I was involved in a miniature battle of the sexes, and I hope this never happens again because when I’m in a relationship, I want to motivate my mate to do better and support him wholeheartedly, but I want and deserve the same in return. I once heard someone say that some men are intimidated by strong or successful women, and I often thought that that was the case with my then mate; but then I realized that if a man is truly a man he will not be intimidated by any woman. Whether he is as successful as she is or not, if he is a real man he will be secure in who he is and who he’s not, what he has and what he doesn’t.
How may relationships have you been involved in that turned into a competition?
Your girls…where would you be without them? They can be your saviors in times of heartbreak and sadness. But sometimes, they can be your worst enemies, especially when it comes to your relationships. If your circle consists mostly of married or coupled up women, chances are they serve as great sources of information and wisdom in helping you deal with the opposite sex. But if you’re one of many single women in your click who have their own man problems, these women could be consciously – or unconsciously – negatively influencing your relationships without you even knowing it. Not sure if your friends are secretly ruining your relationship? Check for these signs that they may be hating on you.
Not long ago, MN posted a piece on things to look for in a man to determine if he’d make a good father. Well ladies, it’s your turn. Most men with baby mama drama are baffled when they procreate with the bride of Satan, claiming they had no idea she was crazy and deranged. Just like us, men can be blind to the crazy when they’re in love or most likely, lust. Maybe he would notice the red flags if he wasn’t so busy looking at the big butt and a smile. If you’re seeing a woman who has any of the following traits, make sure to wrap it up because she just might turn out to be a crazy baby mama.
Even in the best of relationships, you may find that your inner mean girl comes out to play; you know the one who’s full of doubt, jealousy, and negativity. But, this inner girl can easily sabotage your relationship and before you know it, the whole thing can be done and over with. If you fear that you may self-sabotage your relationship, here are 15 ways to avoid doing just that.
Let your inner fears out
We all have fears, even when we are in stable and healthy relationships. As women, we have certain feelings that we often suppress, but eventually they come to the surface. Instead of avoiding these fears, voice them, write them down, or talk about them with your man. Are you afraid of having your heart broken? Do you think you aren’t lovable enough? Let it out; you’ll feel better.
Most men and women long to have partners who love and care for them, help them out from time to time and inspire them to be better people. But sometimes, gently nudging your significant other out of love in an attempt to “help” can suddenly turn into something else. One minute you think you have a loving boyfriend, the next minute he’s trying to control your every move. I’m not talking about violent or abusive men who use force to try to dominate you. I’m talking about emotionally or mentally manipulative men who try to convince you that he’s only looking out for your best interest and who are simply overly protective of you. If you’re not paying attention, you may miss his subtle attempts to try to control you. If you can’t tell the difference between a truly genuine person who only wants the best for you and the relationship and someone who is deceptively trying to control you, look out for these warning signs.