All Articles Tagged "arguing in a relationship"
If you’re dating a non-communicator, you’ve probably gotten used to just swallowing your feelings, and waiting for things to pass. But, as we all find out eventually, negative feelings don’t just pass. They build up, and drive us emotionally further from our partner. So, your guy isn’t into talking? Too bad. If he’s going to be in a relationship then he has to be. Here’s how to get a non-communicating man to open up.
I’m not saying that every woman wants to be in a relationship. And I’m certainly not saying that, if you do want one you should take tips from just any woman in a relationship. But, if you do find yourself wishing to have someone special in your life, and want one to finally stick, pay close attention to the details of your friend’s relationship that you really admire.
Fighting in a relationship can be so draining. Any amount of tension seems to be felt ten times as much as it is with a friend or family member. That could be because sex is involved…Either way, you don’t want to make that feeling even worse, and you don’t want to prolong it.
So here are some tips to avoid this…
It’s that moment. You feel like if you open your mouth the only words that will come out, no matter how hard you try, will be the line you’ve got prepared—maybe it’s passive aggressive, accusatory, begins with a deep sob or a shake of the head. But you’re about to tell him: you’re mad. Even though we get overwhelmed by our emotions sometimes, if we can, we should pause before picking our next fight just to make sure it’s worth it. Or, if it’s even fair. It’s hard to be logical at that moment just before explosion, so if you have some questions ready for yourself, you might have a chance at avoiding a blowup.
Once you start to veer off the path of love—and I mean doing things because you genuinely and selflessly want the best for the other person—things can get confusing. You don’t trust your partner. Your partner doesn’t trust you. Suddenly, taking care of the relationship and taking care of yourself are two things that don’t coincide. That’s when your relationship is more about competition—about being the one who doesn’t get hurt, embarrassed, or screwed over—than about loving someone.
As humans, we always forget the big picture: life is short. We forget that we don’t have all the time in the world to enjoy ourselves, just as soon as we’re done fixating over this stupid, insignificant thing. But, we should strive to pause as often as we can and ask ourselves, “Is it worth it?” Is getting upset, saying something mean, debating or nit-picking about this particular thing worth it? We’d avoid so much headache (and even breakups!) if we did.
I’ve been there. Crying, behind a locked door, because of some fight we just got into. And then, crying harder because I’m wondering, “When did I become THIS woman?!” The one who picks a fight every day, over nothing. Sometimes, you’re just picking fights for attention. Here’s how to know:
I’ve been in some bad relationships—some I would even call toxic. And then I’ve been in some fully functioning, happy and healthy ones. And the major differences I saw between the two were these:
Think you’re the only one fighting an uphill battle on certain issues with your man? Think again. Most women try to alter these things about their partners, at least a little.
Some couples you would be devastated to see separated. They are two peas in a pod. You know they care about one another. Others you question constantly, “Why are they still together?” as they constantly argue and rarely just have a moment of peace. What makes the difference? Some people know how to work things out, while others just don’t know when to walk away. Here’s how you can know when it’s time to walk away: