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When you’ve only been with somebody for a few months, and you’re really into that person, you let things that bother you slide. In fact, nothing bothers you. The pure excitement over consistent sex and somebody who adores you blind you to things that would otherwise drive you insane if a friend or family member did them. Not to sound cynical—your love for somebody will always carry you through menial arguments—but eventually, the euphoria will wear off, and you’ll feel stable enough to realize, “Damn. This person kinda makes me want to put in ear plugs and drink a bottle of wine sometimes.” Not to mention that there are some practical and logistical issues that come up if you spend most of your time with another person. You accommodate another person’s preferences in the way you eat/sleep/drive/socialize. So here are 20 arguments only long-term couples understand.
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Why there’s less sex
You’re actually both fine with having less sex, but you feel like you’re supposed to be upset about it. You also don’t want to be the one to blame, so you start blaming the other. Secretly, you really are both totally chill with less sex.
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Failure to plan
“We have nothing to do, and it’s Friday.”
“Well, I tried to ask you if we could do this thing on Tuesday but you said you were too stressed to make plans for the weekend.”
“Great so it’s my fault.”
“Great now we have nothing to do, and we’re fighting.”
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Whose friends they see more
You’ll end up seeing the friends of one person more than the other. It will be because the latter just never makes plans with their friends, but they’ll just blame their partner for dominating their social life rather than admit that.
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Nobody has a plan for dinner
Nobody went to the grocery store. It wasn’t anybody’s turn, but everybody is mad at everybody for not thinking of it on their own. Oh, and you could have ordered takeout, but it’s too late now because somebody spent a half hour on a work call. People are getting hungrier and crazier.
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Hanging out versus sleeping
One person wants to cuddle and talk while the other needs to go to sleep to wake up early. The person who wants to go to sleep when the first person was just trying to love their partner.
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Whose job prevents vacations
You don’t get to take enough vacations together because your vacation days never match up, or one person could get a four-day weekend, and the other can only get a three day weekend, so the first person just goes on a trip with her friends instead. You both just want more time together, but you end up fighting instead.
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Making stupid purchases
“So, you can’t afford to go to the concert I really wanted us to go to, but you can afford to buy a round of shots for seven friends, huh?”
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Who takes the dog out more
You’ll argue about who takes the dog out more. Then you’ll feel guilty about that because you both love the dog. Then you’ll start arguing to prove who loves the dog more.
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Not changing the toilet paper roll
When you’re first dating, it’s cute and funny that you have to waddle across the house with your pants down to get toilet paper. When you’ve been together for a couple of years, and your partner doesn’t replace the toilet paper, you feel like that is punishable by death.
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What—no hello kiss?
You’ll both start to get so wrapped up in what you’re doing in the house that when your partner gets home, you won’t rush to the door to greet him anymore. Then he’ll say, “What no hello kiss?” and instead of just give him one you’ll point out all the times you’ve come home and he hasn’t greeted you.
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Someone gets sick and is the worst
One of you will get sick days before an important event you were supposed to go to together. If that sick person slips up in any way—like eats anything besides soup or does anything besides sleep—the other person thinks they’re trying to get out of their cousin’s graduation party.
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Who proves their love more
When one person says, “You don’t surprise me anymore” the two people will get into a battle, one-upping each other with stories of times they’ve proven their love. This is a fight somehow.
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Defending the other person’s family
If you are complaining about your family and your partner dares to defend them, your blood will boil.
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Watching a show without each other
As life gets busier, the one little dependable joy you’ll have is that documentary series you’re watching together. If one of you jumps ahead in the show, the other person feels like they’ve been slapped in the face.
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Who is always late
You’ll both be certain that the other person is always late. One night, when you’re running late, your partner will go off on you about it. You’ll list all of the times he’s been late. He’ll list other times you’ve been late. You’ll run even later to your event for this fight.
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One person doesn’t know when to leave the party
One person always like to stay at parties longer. They’re a people pleaser. They drink a little too much and don’t realize the other person is bored. They want to do shots when the other person is ready to go to bed.
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When your friends date…
If you ever make the mistake of setting up your friends, and they don’t end up living happily ever after, you’ll argue over whose friend’s fault it is and take it personally.
