7 Things You Shouldn’t Do after a Breakup

May 11th, 2011 - By Dr. Phoenyx Austin

Breakups can be a very difficult experience. You’re crying, confused, and your heart feels like it’s in a million pieces. It’s not called heartbreak for nothing. You’re trying to understand how someone who once said “I love you” could now just drop kick you in the chest. And because of all these intense emotions, sometimes we ladies will end up doing some pretty unhealthy or irrational things after a breakup.

I’m not saying that men don’t do unhealthy things as well. But I want to talk to the ladies right now. I know our emotional nature. We women love hard and we love long. And because of this, sometimes it’s hard for us to let go- even if we’re dealing with a man that doesn’t deserve our love. But when a relationship is over, you really have to let it go. Why? Because one, you have to trust that God or the universe has a better plan. Two, you shouldn’t waste time on someone who doesn’t recognize how fabulous you are. And three, the tile of “crazy stalker ex’ is never a good look.

So ladies when a relationship ends, just let it go. You and your ex broke up for a reason. So let it burn. Dry your eyes, straighten your back, lift your chin and keep it moving. Trust that the universe has something better in store for you- because it always does ;)   But while you’re waiting here are 7 things you shouldn’t do after a breakup.

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  • Selina

    My name is Selina Jackson I was married to my husband for 9 years before he left me

    I was so devastated, until I meet with a great prophet in a forum I contacted him and told him my problem

    he asked me not to worry so he asked me for some details and that I will have him back within three days,

    I waited for three days and after three days I saw my husband dressed in an black jacket holding a red rose flower

    it was so romantic and nice he came to me and said that for the past three days he could not sleep without seeing me in his dream

    and that all of a sudden all his friends have been asking him to come see me and he dosnt know why he cant stop thinking about me

    he told me he is planning to leave the new wife. to end the long story we are back together now and we are happy now you can contact him

    on prophetfataispiritualtemple@gmail.com or contact him personnally on prophetfatai@gmail.com his temple is actually a place of solution.

  • Bina

    Yes this is so right! why begging?? LOL I really like this site, its really helpful for everyone!

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  • mohamed

    Okey am aguy,ithink you Ladies what you need to do,seek Gods wisdom first and all your needs will be fulfilled.God has apurpose in our lifes.thanks God bless you.

  • Observation

    It's hard to let go of something you felt was so worth while and committed too. However if you must let go, than just do so and move forward. Forget revenge, forget hate, forget blame because it's never really truly the person you are on the inside. Walking away isn't easy especially after so muct time hsa been invested. the entire relationship was not totally bad the entire time, was it?? If it were you would have left sometime ago, unless you had others reasons outside of love to try and work things out. In any case the high road is always the better road. No animosity or revenge necessary, your worth it, both of you, it just takes others a bit more time to realize what they had when the other is gone. Let time do it's job :-) ) how many of us are the same people we were five years ago???

  • miss annoyed chic

    i broke up with an ex about a yr and 6 months ago, he acted like an arse after we broke up even though it was vastly his fault. he still thinks that i'm lusting after him to this day and to be honest i wouldnt care less. the guys out there who think that a woman will wait for about 3 years for him to have his fun and then get back with her .. has got to be delusional. thank god i got myself out of that one :) the guy i dated after that, lied to me about virtually everything but his date of birth and his name :| … i'm not losing faith, but gosh .. men just dont know how to be real, or kind anymore :| whats the deal with that ??

  • Kassy

    I've tried to give my friends this same advice before and they never listen. Great article & 100% true!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Clyde-Henry-Casstevens/100001704624733 Clyde Henry Casstevens

    I am 73 years old man.never had anything to do with a woman/that could keep her pants up/any male that seemed her/could get her if they had the chanced.married three times myself/lived with another nine years/what happened she left while i was at work/stole my two kids/i found out she died in 2002 /oct /i belieave/was glad to find out she was dead/knowing she would never treat another as she did me.kids were born 6-2-1979/5-16-1980/both girls/have not seemed they since she stole them april 13-1986-can't find them-its belieave they are in texas-don't know.i honest be belieave [to a woman]love means to her]legs open very easy] & he excuse for getting in a so called relationsship.i belieave they thing with their[ass]instead of their head or heart.boy i learned the hard way.talk means nothing/what you do means everything.so never asked me to beleave anything i am not seeing.show me nothing/i beleave nothing.action saids everything/talk saids nothing/don't talk so much about what you are/all men have heard it/didn't see it.thats why men go looking trying to find what you clained you are bring/& it does'nt arraive.but with you its always easy to blame a man,for what you are.its the easy way out[& you know about the easy way.don't you?] clyde-5-31-2011-2.45pm

  • confused guy

    no insult to the author intended, this all seems pretty obvious… i mean, it couldve been summed up with "move on, dont dwell on him, make yourself productive". i just dont get why it should even have to be explained, unless youre like 15 and its your first breakup

  • drina

    I just broke up with a crazy man who has "baggage" and baby mama drama and I was willing to put up with that on top of his selfishness, meanness, egotistical, ass-hole-ish ways, but the lord knew (unlike myself) I didn't deserve that! Remember ladies he will always take you out of a situation which is unhealthy for you, whether it be a bad relationship or a terrible job! you just have to keep the faith and know that its for your own good! Always look at the positive aspects.

  • optimist

    My ex found me useful for advice all the time, not just the sex. I had good answers to all of the problems he brought me. But he did not want to recommit, so I finally told him to call someone else with his problems. He got really sweet then; but I said to him "I asked you, if if was bankrupt, down to one suitcase and a cat carrier, would you take me in?, and you said 'hell, no'; so that is all the answer I need". Ladies, give your advice and concern to a man who will back you up, and be there for you.

  • Confused

    I think this article fits for men too. I personally made most of those mistakes with my wife of 15 years in hopes to get back with her. She left me 9 months ago for reasons that are still unclear. Now I think I would like to sever all ties with her because of the 360 degree turn that she has made toward me and the hate she is splewing out at me. I can't though, We have kids. Even thought she doesn't want to act like a mom anymore, it's no reason to hold the kids back from her. I have never cheated on her nor have I physically abused her in any way.

  • Susan

    Most of what the article says is true…but I think sleeping with an ex is OK if it fills your needs and you know it's only sex. It's better then to do it with a stranger!! The article also says it keeps you from looking for another mate….I'm sorry to say but in this day and time there just aren't alot of choices out there and what is they are hard to find. It's not easy replacing someone but keeping someone just to be a couple is not right either. You have to be happy with yourself and know your limits of what you are willing to deal with.

    • kim

      White girl speaking out. I have gone through it all. It's really not a black or white issue, it's a self worth thing. I am a "giver" in a relationship and so "takers" are often attracted to me;self-indulgent, arrogant men . It took me a while to realize I was choosing them. It was my resposibility! Once I got this, I made an effort to question what was attracting me to a certain guy. Self assured-super /Self absorbed-forget it.

      Also, I had a friend tell me (as I was wallowing in self-pity) that I was entitled to feel hurt, betrayed and worthless, but I didn't deserve it. Why was I carrying the cross for his short comings. I would literally visualize a big, heavy cross on my back and then imagine pulling it off of me and putting it on im. Sounds ridiculous, but I swear, it works.

  • A runner

    I've always found the best way to get over a break up is to give yourself a "me" makeover. In other words, look at yourself and decide what you can do to make yourself MORE fabulous. The goal being that the next time you see the ex, he will want you. The funny thing about this technique is it focuses your energy some where else and when you do see the ex…you don't want him.

  • @auniquebeauty1

    I really needed this perfect thanks guys!!! Moving on starting……… NOW

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