What’s The Rush? 14 Reasons You Shouldn’t Marry Young

January 13, 2014  |  
1 of 14

There is simply no reason to marry young today. Got knocked up? Fine. Nobody bats an eyelash at single parents today, or unmarried parents. Shoot, most Swedish men and women have children and never marry.

You want financial stability? You don’t need a husband: you need a therapist to help you understand why you’re afraid of pursuing your dreams. It’s the year 2014! You’re allowed to — and should — get your own two feet on the ground before letting someone sweep you off them. Not convinced? Here are 14 reasons you absolutely should not marry young.

what millennials are getting right about marriage

You never know where your career might take you

An amazing career opportunity might come up across the country but…oh…you can’t leave now because you’re married and your partner works where you currently live. Now you can just stay at the level you’re at in your career and regret your partner forever.

You might become way more successful than your partner

You might become way more successful than your partner

If you and your partner are just in your mid twenties, you have no idea how successful you may or may not be. You’re both in entry level—mid level at best—jobs, in lines of work you might even realize you don’t want to be in! For all you know, in ten years you could be a CEO and your boyfriend who seemed so charmingly creative with all his “business ideas” at 21 is financially dependent on you at 31. And playing video games all day.

Most networking events are at night

Most networking events are at night

You won’t become that CEO if you’re just putting in the bare minimum at work and clocking out the second you can because your husband is waiting at home for you. Networking events and opportunities take place at night and on the weekends!

You need to sleep around

You need to sleep around

You do! You’re an animal! Literally. It’s in your blood to want to spread your seed, even if you’re a woman. If you’ve only slept with a couple of people and then commit to sleeping with one person the rest of your life…you’ll get “the itch” later down the line.

You make your closest friends while single

You make your closest friends while single

You know it’s true. Your favorite and most meaningful moments with your friends to this day are helping one another through breakups, drinking a bottle of vodka together to get over a boy, dancing until 6 am at a club and eating a giant pizza for breakfast that you both regret the next day but not really because you had a blast! But once you’re married, friendship is confined to “dinner dates” that last for 2 hours, and are way too sober.

You won’t travel as much

You won’t travel as much

You have to consider somebody else’s schedule when booking a trip, and when you both have full time jobs, this becomes impossible. You can’t just hop on a plane to visit a friend you haven’t seen in years whenever you feel like it. You can’t take a cruise you’re yearning to take until your husband gets enough vacation days.

You’ll miss the time to have male friends

You’ll miss the time to have male friends

Male friends are so valuable! You might learn more about what you want in a man from your male friends, than from dating tons of men! And your early and mid twenties are a prime time to have male friends: it’s the first time in life people realize they don’t have to have sleep with anyone of the opposite sex, and men will be your friend. But, if you’re married, it’s kind of inappropriate for you to be throwing back beers with a group of other men on a Friday. So no male friends for you.

You can lose your drive

You can lose your drive

A major driving force behind us pursuing our dreams is so that we can become a person we respect and love, so that someone else will respect and love us. But if we marry someone when we haven’t achieved any of our goals, we lose a lot of the drive to keep pursuing them.

You won’t know how to be alone

You won’t know how to be alone

Those single years in your twenties are when you learn how to be alone. They’re when you learn how to bring yourself up out of a depression, and how to boost your own confidence when you’re having self-deprecating thoughts. But if you have someone else around to do all of that for you, you’ll never develop that muscle yourself. And you’ll just lose that muscle.

You’ll meet fewer people

You’ll meet fewer people

When you’re single, and at an event where you don’t know anyone, you mingle! You mostly do it to meet a guy, but through that you meet interesting people, work contacts, people you learn from, new friends and so much more! But, when you have a husband at your side, you get lazy and just stick with him. So much for expanding your social circle.

You’ll be less sexually adventurous

You’ll be less sexually adventurous

Another reason you have to sleep around is that each person you sleep with is at a different level of sexual comfort, and they help get you there. You could sleep with one person to whom anal play is totally normal. Now that’s part of your repertoire. You could sleep with someone who brings toys into play and edible lotion. But, when you marry young, you and your partner’s sexual growth sort of stagnates.

You won’t grow as much as you could

You won’t grow as much as you could

Marriage sort of freezes your development. However much you’ve grown as a person, you’ll get stuck there when you marry. If you marry a little later in life, that’s fine! Because you know who you are and what you want! But if you marry too young, you might remain immature forever. You have to: that’s the person your partner married, so you don’t have much room to change now.

You don’t really know what you want in a partner

You don’t really know what you want in a partner

You really don’t know what’s out there until you know what’s out there. There are so many people in the world with so many habits and characteristics and lifestyles that you can’t even imagine. If you marry young, you’ll find yourself thinking, “This person seems just right for me but…how do I really know?! Maybe a way better match is out there!”

Divorce is one of the worst experiences possible

Divorce is one of the worst experiences possible

It really is. Some divorcees say they’d rather die than get divorced again. And young marriages have a much higher risk of divorce than marriages that take place later in life.

Trending on MadameNoire

View Comments
Comment Disclaimer: Comments that contain profane or derogatory language, video links or exceed 200 words will require approval by a moderator before appearing in the comment section. XOXO-MN
  • Jen Page

    The optimal time is different for everyone. For me, it was when I was 21 and my husband was 24. He had a stable good job and I was a student going to college and worked part time at an office, but decided to quit to babysit full time for my sister (even though hubby advised me not to. should have listened to him). She’s a single mom of five children and has just had a lot happen in her life. Looking back now, I regret not getting married young, but allowing my sister to manipulate my love for her and for my nieces and nephews into quitting school. Now I’m a stay at home momma with one toddler and a second on the way. I love being at home, it’s allowed me to explore hobbies and myself. Someday I’d love to go back to school and be a midwife/ doula and work in the inner city community. So many low income families do not have the support they need when a unplanned pregnancy happens. There are pros and cons to marry young. But it also depends on the individuals as well. Both my husband and I grew up with a lot of responsibility at a young age and we both had been in the “work force” from a young age. He grew up on a dairy farm and was driving and working on tractors by the time he was seven years old. I started doing volunteering in the community around 12 years old and then landed an office job when I was 14 for a non-profit. It really depends on the upbringing and maturity of the people who are getting married!

  • Country baby

    This article is so stupid. Most of its statememts are false assumptions and seems to be against marriage in general not just marrying young. Age is but a number, and I am very happy to be married to husband, at a happy place in my career, and enjoying our very adventourous sex life at the age of 20.

  • Like wut?

    This is stupid. I’m not for marrying young either, but if anyone really takes 80% of these as reasons not to, then you need to reevaluate your expectation of what marriage should be like.

  • Cassie

    I agree that waiting to get married can be a smart thing to do. But the reasons given in this article are mostly just stupid. Married people can still make friends, have quality time with their friends that go beyond superficial dinner dates, and they can travel and relocate as well. The dumbest part of this article is the idea that sleeping around is a necessity before marriage. I am a 29 year old virgin, for the reason that sleeping around would feel wrong and dirty to me. I am probably not going to wait until marriage, but I need to be in love with the guy. I have no desire to “sleep around” whatsoever – I don’t know how much I like the idea of only sleeping with one guy my whole life, but I prefer that to “sleeping around.” I believe sex should at the very least be reserved for meaningful relationships.

  • ???

    Lmao we need to sleep around? Wtf? I’m even more shocked none of you women commented on that part. Definitely shows the lack of morals of most women. I got married young, & I was a virgin. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. And why was the majority of reasons about career? Since when is money more important than love? I’ll have you know my husband is a pharmacist & I’m a school psychologist, so cash isn’t a issue. Im 26, hes 28, we have gorgeous 2 year old girls and we’ve been married 7 amazing years. And I guarantee that if we didn’t keep God in the mist of our relationship or choose to do what this stupid article says we would not be married or wealthy.

  • Pingback: Review: A Five Star Life | The Chronicles()

  • Pingback: Review: A Five Star Life | Eternal Summertime()

  • Niya

    IMO it’s not age that determines a happy marriage but rather maturity and stability.

  • ddamzel

    Terrible, Terrible Article. Basically, this article is saying that once you are married, your life is over. That you cannot grow or learn or have fun unless you are single. I completely disagree. If you are with the right person, you can grow together, have fun together, learn together etc.If staying single is your choice, that is fine but you shouldnt stay single because you are afraid that being married is the end of life. With the right partner, that supports you, your career, etc, you would still have the most fulfilling life. Perhaps, even more fulfilling than your single days

  • Happily Married

    Totally disagree with everything in this article and there is no evidence to back it. However, there is evidence, and a lot of it, to back how being HAPPILY married benefits all aspects of your life. Do some research on it yourself if you feel the need. This is of course all an opinion of the author. I have been happily married for more than 13 years, have met some of my best friends while married, have learned about myself while married and have learned how to not only boost myself out of a depressing time, but to also boost my spouse out of it and vice versa. It’s not about “me” it’s about “we” and I prefer it that way. I got married very young, 19 years old. I wasn’t pregnant and though I will not encourage my children to marry that young, I have no regrets.

  • Amber Dorsey

    as a married mother of two over the age of 30 I have to say this “article” is disheartening. what’s worse are the comments where these people are spewing even more falsehoods about “no one wants to marry a black woman over the age of 35” and that marriage is boring. My husband and I met in college but didn’t marry until we were in our 30’s. We have gone through every stage imaginable and have done it TOGETHER. that’s what marriage is, a partnership with someone who encourages you to grow, and supports your dreams. If he were offered an amazing job opportunity in another state we would go. That could happen at age 26 or 46 – if you’re married and in it for the long haul that’s what you do! We go out and enjoy ourselves without our kids. I have day dates/ dinner dates and sleepovers with my girlfriends and he is not bothered because he knows that ultimately helps our relationship by nurturing my outside relationships. we travel as well, not as much as perhaps a childless person but we enjoy taking our kids with us. We are a FAMILY and that is what we have chosen to build together. We put forth the time and effort into our marriage and have grown as a couple in many ways. To say that your sex life will become stagnate is just a load of crap and basically encouraging people to sleep around and upping the rates for STD’s.
    It’s very sad that many will read this and nod their heads simply because the do not know any better or don’t have any examples in their lives. Marriage is not boring nor is it dead, but if people keep writing and reading stuff like this it may as well become a thing of the past.

  • KPDE

    I’m a 33 year old black woman who got married at 24. My husband and I are the same age. It seems that the person who wrote this OPINION article is not married and probably does not have any happily married friends under the age of 30.

    After we got married we earned two additional graduate degrees, bought two homes, traveled extensively and both saw significant career growth. We had a child after eight years of marriage and we feel so fortunate to have the financial and emotional stability that comes with having a mature marriage.

    Black families are in crisis. This opinion pieces is short-sighted. With over 70% of black children being born out of wedlock, we need to encourage the growth of healthy black families, not discourage young women from pursuing marriage until some magical age. Age does not equal maturity. If your are immature, self-centered and promiscuous at 25, your prospects aren’t going to look much better at 35. Young black women need to learn how to identify a good partner instead of being convinced that marriage is the end of their independence.

    As far as your divorce “stats” the abysmal numbers that we all have heard include statistics for second, third, etc. marriages. Second and third marriages are more likely to end in divorce than first marriages. And guess who’s getting married multiple times? People over the age of 35.

    Avoiding marriage will not help us build wealth and stability in our communities. We can do better. The right partner will not stifle your growth and development, he’ll support it and make it easier for you to soar.

  • Kia Gunter

    This is the most ignorant piece I have read in the 2014. How can you promote promisicuity and such defiant behavior? I married quite young, and despite your article have a nice life with my spouse. We are not codependent on each other and he doesnt sit at home all day playing video games. We both have great careers. What relationship doesnt come with sacrifices. That is apart of growth. I have dinner dates that last more than 2 hours, a happy and sensual sex life and I am still able to hang out with my friends. Why can you no longer travel anymore?? Just buy two tickets. This sounds like words from a bitter, spiteful, and lonely woman. Its not our fault you picked the “wrong one.” In my Tamar voice you need to have several damn seats and stop spewing these lies and garbage into the community. There are impressionable people that will fall weak to this lame and baseless arguments you present. Ladies and gentlemen please do you. I understand marriage is not for everyone but to forsake others for doing so is absolutely, positively ignorant and biased.

  • Nicole

    I agree with the article granted some people are more mature than others even at a young age but in general maturity comes with growth & learning through life experiences and that comes with age, knowing yourself and what you want and need in a partner also comes with time…even the brain is not fully developed until the age of 26. So I say give love time and if you truly believe that you’ve met your soul mate at a young age then waiting a couple of years shouldn’t change that.

  • Ruebae

    I think most black woman are missing the mark.We are so engrossed in making a name for ourselves i.e becoming CEO that we have forgotten other things that may even be more important than success like love .Someone once said that wealth is what you have after all the money is gone . I personally but this is the reason why most people are unhappy we have substitutes success for simple joys like companionship . And the second point is totally invalid in terms of marriage as a whole , dont get married too young because you might have to move to a new place , do you realize you may even be asked to relocate even in your 50’s and in the 30th year of marriage? . Say what you may will there is no joy in sleeping around and that is no secret .The walk of shame is the walk of shame for a reason. HIV , STI’S , AIDS anybody ?New styles in bed ?you don’t need so many partners to experience that hello , has anyone ever heard of the karma sutra .Heck people are even offering sex lessons these days .People should stop believing in this soul mate thing , relationships can work with whoever you want them to . And the other point don’t get married young because your partner might wind up in a lower class than you ? ?Priorities ????? This is like saying don’t get married because your husband of 15 years might be involved in an accident , get brain damage and loose their CEO job .As I said before wealth is what you have left after all the money and power is gone. Who says you can’t go traveling with your 23 year old husband abd your 21 year old self? .That is the best kind of bonding . Really choosing not to settle down because you want to make new friends .Hahaha .Cray cray .Seee this article is very silly .So many loop holes! I believe that people should get married whenever they feel like .So long you can sign your own marriage papers boo boo go for it . I think this article would have been more convincing if it was a pro/con kinda thing .

  • Hanna

    Love happens when love happens .I think it is wrong to put a time line on marriage . I understand that it is important to have things in order first but I have a 30 year old friend who is facing so much hell in her marriage and she has been married for 8months .It is a matter of maturity I believe and also what you want out of life . I work at any aged care home most clients say they were married between the ages of 20-25 with only about 2 % of these unions ending in divorce . They believed in riding it out till the end, so long story short people should get married when they feel ready . The WINDS OF LIFE ARE ALWAYS GOING to blow , especially in marriage this is regardless of age .Each to their own I guess .Is the author of this article married by the way?

  • Gert

    I have mixed feelings on this piece. It’s about maturity not age. Some people mature sooner than others…if you seek God and know yourself then you will know when it is the right time. I was married at 21 and I will be married for 15 years this year. My husband was 23. We are happily married with 2 children, have not experienced infedility nor have been separated 1 day. Now the pro’s were MONEY has never been an issue because we came into the relationship full time college students and have always supported and relied on each other. We have experienced not having at all and having more than enough. I also did not come into a relationship with a “mile long” past…the longer you are single the more baggage you bring to a relationship. The cons, you do struggle (trying to find yourself), so your marriage will go through those changes as well…you have to be able to adjust together. And that is hard for some to do. Like I said, it takes Prayer, dedication, understanding and patience. There is no certain clock on marriage….

  • MotaSol

    Why to marry at all? Just because you want to dress like a princess? That’s the only understandable reason.

  • reader

    LOLOLOL!! Oh the hilarity

  • WHOISBSQUARED?

    WELL….THE COMMENT ABOUT SLEEPING AROUND….UM I WAS TOLD FROM A HAPPILY MARRIED WOMEN, FROM MY CHURCH THAT ITS BEST TO BE WITH ONE PERSON…CUZ U DONT HAVE NOBODY TO COMPARE THEM TO…,SEXUALLY, PHYSICALLY, ETC…..AND ONE MORE THOUGHT, IF A MAN REALLY WANTS THIS MARRIAGE/PARTNERSHIP TO WORK, WHY CANT HE MOVE FOR HER IF HER CAREER REQUIRES HER TO RELOCATE? I THOUGHT IF LOVE WAS THERE, U WOULD STICK IT OUT N MAKE IT WORK…..I MEAN AM I WRONG? IM 26 AND IM IN THE PROCESS OF BEING SERIOUS WITH SOMEONE….SO SINCE IM YOUNG, MARRIAGE IS A NO-GO FOR ME?? THATS A BIASED STATEMENT TO SAY….JUST SAYIN

  • Tonyoardee

    I’m 23 and going to take advice from the fellas I know who are married that say wait it out as long as possible; not even thinking about lifelong commitment until I’m post 30

    • DCFella

      Live free and experience life but do so responsibly. You don’t owe anyone to do the opposite. Do not adopt other people’s pressures life goals or dreams. Live your own out and if they happen to match up with someone else’s take it from there. Marry the person that truly enhances your life and according to you. Do not marry anyone is casting you in a part or movie that has already been written and developed.

    • DCFella

      Oh and let me also add do not hate women and cherish the good women that you encounter in your life and learn from even the bad experiences. View women as equals with just as much value as any man. Be the good guy because everyone is someone’s daughter or sister or mother. But you do not owe a relationship to every woman that likes you but still treat them fairly and if they hate you for it them that is their problem to deal with.

    • The Heartbreak Kid

      Yea wait it out as long as possible. I’ll be 30 this year and I’ve met the love of my life already. I will ask for her hand in marriage real soon. However, I took my time to find me, myself, and I. Trust me, wait until post 30 to get married.

    • thatguy0101

      @Tonyoardee:disqus
      No disrespect to the ladies, but I would say listen to men, we are the one’s that are selecting the women we want to marry and the ones that have to deal with them. Also, listen to what @dcfella:disqus is saying, he’s spitting good infomation.
      I would never say over-look marriage but you want to find someone that compliments YOU! When you see her and you see yourself in sort of a weird way, you look at her and you just smile and get a crazy feeling, you see her and youre like d*mn, this women is beautiful inside and out; she’s smart, loving, humble, respectful, loves me for me, knows how to treat a man (not a boy), isnt out there running the streets, has no baggage or craziness in her life…..you find a woman like that, you better hang on to that!! they dont come around too often.

  • thatguy0101

    I dont see the rush either. I’ve witnessed too many young women during between the ages of 18-26 rush into marriage because they felt incomplete without a man and 75% of them are divorced now. When you rush into anything your vision is clouded and you dont see all the red-flags and you make bad choices. Take your time. I believe one must go through life single to learn yourself, learn what you like and don’t like, learn your body, educate yourself, dont be foolish but make mistakes in finance, relationships, love, and etc. (not intentionally though), travel, be comfortable with yourself and being alone….I’m sure if one does this, you would be wiser and more successful in findng the right mate.
    Sidenote: I’m tired of hearing that men dont mature fast enough or we never mature at all, although it holds some truth. But I live in the DC/MD/VA and I can assure you, WOMEN are the exact same. I’ve encountered ALOT of women between the ages of 22-42 and about 50% of them were the pettiest, the most immature, princess-mentality type women I’ve ever met in my life!

    • The Heartbreak Kid

      Funny you say so because some women from the DMV are kind of stuck up. Once they have their careers, they think that they are on top of the world. Alot of them are very petty so I agree. I prefer to deal with southern women.

      • thatguy0101

        haha yup, exactly….aint it funny tho? I never use to do this but recently I had to start bringing some females back down to earth on some slick sh*t…. had to tell them; “Love, be easy, you act like youre the only one out here “gettin’ it” ……young black and successful comes a dime a dozen, so ease up on the uppiddity ish”. Yea southern women are the best, if they havent been brainwashed.

        • Niya

          Yep. Describes my sister to the T. Which is why she’s crying about a 500 dollar divorce and parenting classes. Wanna act like she’s all that because she married and now paying the price for rushing into it. The happiest marriages usually are the ones where the couple waited patiently and put everything into perspective before tying the knot.

    • Niya

      Thank you. Too many women rush into marriage to either feel complete or in some ppls case to brag about how he ‘put a ring on it’.

  • DCFella

    I would say to women to not loose hope on getting married one day if that is something that you would like to do. It can be a beautiful experience. But I would go on to say males in your age group probably are not interested in marriage until later in life, and by then their interests might be on the new spring chickens.

  • DCFella

    My advice to young men is to not get married until you are ready to do so. You are going to get pressured from every woman that you get involved with to get married but it is probably her own biased opinion that you should marry her and it’s also her projecting her own pressures about marriage that she gets daily. Don’t get married or even into relationships because of ultimatums.

    • The Heartbreak Kid

      Yep and my belief is that a man shouldn’t get married until at least he’s 30 and over

      • DCFella

        Agreed. A lot of the pressure about marriage that men get is not even our own pressure. Men have much less of an incentive to get married and also do not have a biological rush to do so. Also, why should younger men who are in their life’s rhythm so to speak have it thrown off by marriage that the other person probably wanted way more than he does.

        • Niya

          My sister. Lol. Which explains why her marriage is unstable and has had so many threats of divorce. I feel like she pressured him to marry her and have a kid. He wasn’t ready. Which then explains why he walked out….twice.

  • KIR12

    Don’t believe the hype black women. Today 31 percent of African American women by their early forties have never married as compared to only 9 percent of White, 11 percent of Asian, and 12 percent of Latino women in the same age group. Those are a woman prime child bearing years.

    Why keep doing somethig that Cleary doesn’t work, has never worked and will never work? I doubt 30% of NEW black women marriages are to black women over 35. IMO If marriage is a priority to you, your best chance is when men are most interested and you have the most options. There is no large group of men looking to marry 40+ year old black women. It does not exist.

    • DCFella

      Kind of harsh but I will concede that you have some valid points. I will just say that no one should think or behave as though their youth, beauty, and prime desirability does not have an expiration date.

    • thatguy0101

      Dang homie, that was kinda harsh. Your statement hold SOME truth but why throw daggers and bash your own people?

      • KIR12

        We have got to start doing things that work. What black folks are currently doing is not working,

        • Brooklyn_Beauty_Danni

          You make very valid points. I feel that the black community almost praises the baby mama today with no shame. It’s supposed to be cute to receive your assistance on the first of the month, degrade your baby mama/daddy and think nothing of being half naked in public. I know a few of my peers that got married and had children after but unfortunately it’s the minority and not the majority. We as a people need to go back to the drawing board and reevaluate our game plans. It’s not “being white” when you want to live in a good neighbordhood, come from 2-parent married homes, go to college and be something. If blacks would start focusing on being successful on these avenues instead of being proud of receiving welfare and who has the shiniest cheap car on the block then folks would take us seriously and we could perhaps become a better race of people.

          • KIR12

            I agree

    • enlightenment

      I don’t think black women waiting to be “stable” before getting married is the driving force behind African-American women never being married at 40………………….

      I think there are other factors you must look at.

      • KIR12

        It most certainly the reason creating boys growing up without fathers who don’t know who to be men.

        • enlightenment

          This article isn’t devaluing the importance of marriage. It’s saying that you should wait for the most optimal time to tie the knot. This way, you know that you’re spending the rest of your life with someone who’s the best fit for you.

          Rushing into marriage can lead straight to divorce.

          So I repeat. Waiting to be stable isn’t the driving force behind Black women never being married at 40. The notion that marriage isn’t important + having babies out of wedlock might be a factor though.

    • DeepThinker

      True points, but my question is ARE the women getting married staying married? It seems now a days the average marriage last between 3-7 years. So whether previously married or not, everyone is ending up in the same boat. That’s why there are more cougars than ever before.

      • KIR12

        I didn’t offer perfection. Just a better alternative. A married father is more likely to love his child and be actively involved than a baby daddy. That is a fact.

    • Afro Minded

      You sound very generalized, one sided and young minded. U for one are not GROWN and you are NOT married or marriage material. You obviously do not socialize with grown black men or have any married black friends. Your man child generalized views are lacking the fact that times have changed a woman in her 20’s no matter what race in America is not mentally mature these days to handle a grown man in his 30’s or 40’s. Ain’t no grown man 30-45 with a career gonna be dealing with a childish 20 something woman that wants to party, drink, have male friends galore, still be attached to her parents and childhood friends, a financial burden, silly and petty. And to be honest if you read this article it basically saying everything Im saying about college aged young women. Man obviously you have a thing for young women but you are young when u get older your taste in women will change because you will be more mature until then talk on what you know. Also that study on unmarried black women was done on black women under 30 and yes the majority of black women over 35 are married. As you should know whites love to study the bad thing in our community along with blk men and prison like a dead horse as u also kno.

      • KIR12

        Look dum a55. lol Do you not understand that black women are over 3 to almost 4 times more likely to be NEVER MARRIED than women of other races? What you are saying is continue to do what IS NOT WORKING. This leads to all sort of social dysfunction.

        Now regarding college. Over 22 or 24% of black women have degrees. That leaves 78% of black women WITHOUT DEGREES! Stop living in fantasyland. The majority of these women are broke on welfare (aprox 30%) or living check to check. Do you really believe men are going to marry a 35+ year old black woman who is broke, overweight (most gained about 30 to 60 pounds from the age of 20) and probably a baby mama? Think!!! It’s not going to happen. Yes, a few of these women will get married for the overwhelming majority they will never marry.

  • Jan

    I think of a lot us have poor definitions of what love and poor perceptions of self . Those things tend to spill off on our relationships. I suggest getting yourself in order, loving yourself, and consulting God before even entering a serious and committed relationship. A lot of people want to fun time; the sex, laughter, and the company, but some can’t handle the hell you have to go through to even get those moments and actually appreciate them.

  • SANDRA

    This article doesn’t make me want to get married ever !!! Is the marriage life so boring ???

  • The Heartbreak Kid

    As I’ve been told that it’s better to marry later in life once you’re stable in your career, spiritually, and mentally. I think the prime for any man is between 23-29 and they have to grow and know what they want. Some men never grow up so they’ll be 40 years old still going to clubs and hitting on 21 year old chicks. Moral of the story, take your time before marriage.

    • DCFella

      Hmm, I think a man’s prime is actually in their mid-30’s all things considered. A woman’s overall prime and definitely biologically is probably between 23-29. It’s interesting that you imply that 40 year old men hitting on 21 year old women are immature. I think older women only have a problem with this when they are not longer those younger women getting hit on.