Nelly’s Still Mad About Spelman’s “Tip Drill” Protest…And For Good Reason

108 comments
November 14, 2013 ‐ By

 

Source: Huff Post

Source: Huff Post

Most of us remember Nelly’s controversial “Tip Drill” video. I remember the first time I saw it. I was a  sophomore in high school, watching it on BET’s now defunct “Uncut” series on the television my parents allowed me to have in my bedroom. (Side eye to my parents.) I would be lying if I said my first reaction was not awe. I was in awe of the way these women’s bodies moved. And as I laid in bed, I couldn’t help but bounce to the beat. “Where she at… dere she gooooo!” It was entertaining but I also knew it was a hot mess. Exploitative, degrading, entirely too much. Never outside of an adult video had I straight up seen a woman’s labia as she bent over.

And then there was the credit card swipe that single handedly ended “Uncut”…forever. And though I’m sure strip clubs across the country and the world feature scenes all too similar to the ones depicted in “Tip Drill,” the fact that Nelly brought that to the masses was too disrespectful and frankly, too embarrassing for the black women who felt they had enough sense to be embarrassed for the women who bounced, popped, dry humped and wiggled in the video.

Folks were outraged. The most expressive, were the women of the Spelman Feminist Majority Leadership Alliance. Ironically, right at the time where Nelly had black women bending over booty clapping, he was also attempting to get their help in a bone marrow drive for his sister, Jacqueline “Jackie” Donahue, who was battling leukemia. But word quickly spread that Spelman students were going to protest. And according to Spelman, Nelly’s foundation refused to hold the drive unless the university promised that students wouldn’t confront him about the song or video. But in a recent interview with Marc Lamont Hill for Huff Post Live, Nelly explains why he’s still angered by that whole controversy especially since his Jacqueline passed away just a year later.

“You approach me with this conversation while I’m doing that drive. Why do you want to talk about that now when I’m trying to save lives? That was my whole issue with that”

“And don’t get it twisted it wasn’t all of Spelman. It was a group of young ladies that decided the this was the time that they picked to make this move. And it just felt so wrong to me because here I am losing time trying to save someone special to me and you want to talk about a video. You spent hours and hours playing my video when we could have spent those hours getting people signed up on bone marrow registries and finding donors for people who needed these stem cell transplants.”

Then Marc Lamont Hill asks why Nelly just didn’t have the conversation first and then continue on with the bone marrow drive.

“So how can you compare that? You’re trying to tell me that I got to have a conversation about a video before we take care of bone marrow? What’s more important here? If anything you should have did it the other way around. What’s more important and I say that because you protested, are you still protesting that right now? Cuz I don’t have my sister now.

“So it don’t weigh. You’re not even probably protesting right now. And half of ya’ll that was protesting is probably in them clubs dancing to them songs on the weekend that you’re ‘protesting’ about.”

The conversation veers off and Nelly explains how rappers and Hip Hop takes so much heat for being immoral and then Marc Lamont Hill chimes in with a statistic that rappers are the artists that give back the most. Then he asks Nelly if there were anything he would do differently in his career, but specifically the Spelman incident.

“The Spelman thing the only thing I feel I woulda did different is kick somebody’s A$$. That’s just how it felt to me, Pimp. I don’t have my sister. You robbed me of an opportunity, unfairly my brother. That was unfairly because we could have still had your conversation after I got my opportunity. It could have been somebody that was coming to that bone marrow drive that day that was possibly a match for my sister that didn’t come because of that.”

Marc Lamont suggests Nelly and Spelman still have the conversation in the near future.

“Aww man that conversation is easy. They don’t want to have that conversation because the truth of the matter is, Spelman is within a six block ratio of about 3 or 4 strip clubs that I don’t see them protesting at one time.”

Then Marc Lamont Hill countered by saying that the women of Spelman would probably argue that the strip clubs down the street weren’t asking for these women’s bone marrow. Nelly counters and Lamont Hill moves on, saying that the two agree to disagree.

At the end of the conversation my only thought was umph. I can see both men’s arguments. Like Lamont- Hill said, it really is time out for black men publicly disrespecting black women and then running back to us when they need us. It’s played out. We’re tired. And most of all it hurts. And while I would love for black men to really get that. I agree with Nelly in the sense that this bone marrow drive wasn’t the right time to deliver that message.

I know black women are always told to hold our rage, be patient, this is not the time. And it ain’t right. But in this instance, the women of that Spelman group sought to highlight the inequities and injustices of life instead of save one. And I can’t support that.

I know that these feminist issues are more than just “issues,” “talking points” or gripes. They really affect our everyday lives in very real, very tangible very painful ways. But getting Nelly, a black man, to understand that should not have come at the expense of the life of a black woman.

What do you think about Nelly’s arguments and Marc Lamont Hill’s?

You can watch Nelly’s whole interview on the next page.

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  • bkenya

    Sooo those of you who blame the women in the video,
    basically your stereotyping us as black women? Meaning that you believe those few women in the video represent us all, and the their participation negated any objection black women everywhere? The Spellman girls were owning the issue and demanding respect and acknowledgement from the main representative of the video.

  • Mia Cooper

    They had the drive anyway though. I don’t understand why he’s not being truthful about it all this time later. They never boycotted nor cancelled his marrow drive, HE decided he didn’t want to come. He was invited to a forum to speak about the video, in fact that would’ve been an opportunity for him to defend himself. His decision to not come was an ego move. He still leaves out that Spelman still had a bone marrow drive that may have saved many more lives even though his sister didn’t have a match there.

    I feel for him, I really do. He needs to seek some help for his grief instead of misdirected anger. Honestly, I don’t understand why he stopped there. I would’ve thrown charity concerts all over the country and donors could have free admission. My deepest condolences to Nelly and his family but the truth of the matter is some people never find a marrow match.

  • A. Noble

    I think it is selfish to think that Spelman Women didn’t have the right to demand a conversation before having the drive. Who is to say that he ever would have followed through. The conversation would not have been so long that the drive would have been ineffective. And for the record, what Nelly left out is that Spelman STILL had a bone marrow drive. He just refused to take part of it. He made CHOICES. He had options. To act as if his demands come before the needs of the women he wanted to take marrow from is completely one-sided and unfair. He is ignorant for assuming that the “protest” (as he calls it) was so minor that is all forgotten about moments later and the principles of the protest no longer matter to the women who asked for it. The conversation would have been 1 hour, tops. Not enough time to keep him from collecting marrow in time for his sister. He is selfish and he needs to take some responsibility in it. I do not agree that Spelman put the discussion before saving a life. I believe Nelly put his pride above anything and everything else and that is why the situation happened as it did. I am not saying his sister deserved to die or that it is his fault. I am saying, if he had checked his pride, MAYBE the events would have unfolded differently. For him to fail to acknowledge that is denial. And for Madame Noire to approve it is insupportable. Stop buying his side of the story wholesale. He will always shade it his way because it is his truth. That doesn’t make it the absolute truth either. If you want the whole truth, talk to the women of Spelman who asked for the conversation. Hear what they have to say. That way, you know what you are talking about. Anything else is not journalism. It is propaganda.

    Additionally, rather than continuing to spew venom at the women of Spelman, maybe he should reconsider his position and try to have an actual conversation now. But he won’t, obviously because he is too embittered about what happened to his sister. Which is understandable. But, if he intends to claim that Spelman was in the wrong, he should at least try to finally hear what the young women were trying to say. That has always been his problem. He wants women to shut up, do as he says, give him what he wants, and never utter a syllable about it. All he has done here is shown that, in nearly a decade, he has not made any personal growth at all. He is still the same selfish coward he was back in 2004. And he probably has no intent to change. And as long as people like Madame Noire support him in this type of behavior, why should he? Thanks Madame Noire. For absolutely nothing.

  • ObservintheATL

    My daughter was a freshman at Spelman at the time. When she brought the protest to my attention, I took the same position as Nelly. Yes, it is important to confront this issue; however, now is not the time. His sister’s life hung in the balance and, time was of the essence. It felt, to me, a particular group of young women were continuing their pursuit reputation and name recognition, at any cost; even that of the life.

    • jmjg

      Callous is to disrespect someone, but expect them to put it aside for you in YOUR time of need. Do people right from the beginning. You won’t have to worry about this type of reaction or response. I never heard his sister speak out against Spelman.

  • Camila Patterson

    ~I cosign. No one forced any of the “dancers” in his video to do anything. That is a sad testament to why African Americans have not advanced to their full potential as a community. In this instance these women could have helped advance his cause as well as draw needed attention to a critical health crisis, but instead they pulled the feminism card. It’s not what you’re called it’s what U answer to. Who knows how many lives they could have saved. I bet more than half of them was trying to find out where He and his entourage was staying for the night, but acted brand new when the protest started. ~ ;(

    • jmjg

      And you my dear are why men feel entitled to degrade woman and girls. Once again, you nor Nelly own the bodies of the women who attend Spelman. You have no right to decide what other woman do with their blood or marrow. Black folks do not progress as a community because there no longer is a community. If there was, the type of songs and videos would not be made. The community, if it existed, would realize just how degrading it all is and collectively put a stop to it. Men nor women have to blindly follow anyone who does not respect them. Unless Black folks feel obligated to other Black folk, they have no reason to expect people to feel obligated to them

      • Camila Patterson

        I was expressing my opinion which I have every right to do. And I never stated that Nelly or anyone else for that matter was entitled to the women of Spelman’s bone marrow. I’m not the sole reason some men feel obligated to denigrate or degrade women. Why am I the object of this long-winded response simply because I commented on an interview? If you are such an activist for women’s rights cast your hat in the ring for the 2014 elections and then YOU can attempt to legislate how I and everyone else think. Race was never the issue. The African American community does still exist or we would not even have this forum on Madame Noire. In my opinion, there is a generational disconnect that Our community has simply passed down to the youth of today. Back in the day we worked side by side and supported each other b/c we had to. We did not choose political correctness over unified strength. You are entitled to voice your opinion just as I am entitled to express mine.

  • shoegal2547

    Does Nelly still promote bone marrow awareness / education? Is his JesUs4Jackie foundation still functioning? If not, this is the real tragedy. Lives can still be saved and our community educated…

  • SMHATNelly

    Now why he didn’t ask the women from the Tip Drill video for marrow???

    • mac

      *screams* YOU WIN THIS THREAD.

  • Froggage

    If my brother desperately needed a bone marrow transplant I would do whatever was required in order to get help with a drive from a group of likely matches. So all I’m hearing from Nelly is that he was willing to help his sister unless it inconvenienced or annoyed him, and he needs to own that and be mad at himself, not at the Spelman protesters. If you can’t sit there for, what, an hour and a half at most, and answer questions about a video (that was, let’s face it, redonkulous), don’t come back talking about how you’d be kicking folk’s asses if you had it to do all over again when you should have just manned up and done it the first time.

    Also, he was clearly trying to avoid the forum — if they’d done it the other way around, he would have been at the airport by the time they were finishing up with the last donor and they never would have seen him again.

  • nolimit_soldier

    I didn’t know the butt crack credit card swipe is what ended “Uncut” though..I’m sorry but I stopped reading after that because really everything that was discussed in this interview is irrelevant.
    PS He should’ve kept Ashanti too

  • Peaches

    When The Color Purple & Waiting To Exhale came out, Black men were in quite the tither. Why? Because those books/movies didn’t show all of you in the best light, despite the fact that many of those images are still prevalent & highly discussed in the Black community today. So why is it that Black men act as if they don’t understand Black women’s anger when we are shown in a negative light? Just like not all bruhs are wife beaters & adulterers, not all sistas are strippers. I mean, damn! Y’all can’t support us on this at the very least?

    • Peaches

      Oh, and, the video and the situation are ages old. He & everybody else needs to stop talking about it, & continue to work towards finding a cure & beating this thing.

    • Thedonjuan

      I agree with you to a certain extent, but at the same time those videos wouldn’t be possible if women didn’t participate in them. So don’t just blame black men for stuff like that, when in fact it’s both sides fault. And all races of men disrespect women. Not just black men.

  • Paul Dronette

    So, it appears that Nelly has hired a publicist to get his name ringing. Hence the reason I keep seeing him show up on a bunch of websites I frequent.

    He should fire that publicist. Because this topic should have been off limits. He lost the first round now he’s coming back for seconds and he is still losing.

  • divvvaa

    there would be no women to degrade if women learned how to say NO. no one forced them to objectify themselves in this video or any other vulgar videos. no one is forcing them to become strippers and call it dancing.

    • Thedonjuan

      Thank You!

    • jmjg

      But you want to force woman to donate blood and bone marrow.

  • Herm Cain

    This trips me out because these women act as if the video h0s were being forced they degraded themselves maybe they should’ve held a meeting talking to those young women part of black womens problem as far as their promiscuous ways is they’re never held accountable its the boyfriend fault or they have daddy issues etc etc he did nothing illegal and nobody gets to play the victim he was a victim of that feminist bull****

  • Tonyoardee

    He does have a point, after y’all protested what exactly did it solve?? You still see the same videos and even worse go to the clubs that play said rappers music and their concerts so whose really in the right?

    • Rochelle

      Yeah you are right. It is better not to do a damn thing, but put on a thong and shake it. SMH & STFU.

  • BabyBlue

    I think that Spelman protest did nothing as far as exploitation. We still have twerking videos and WSHH.

  • http://www.yourtango.com/users/cheekee-baby cheekee baby

    Nothing stopped him from dropping a music video rapping about the importance of donating marrow. Nah he wants it both ways. Swipe a credit card in sista’s booty crack, exploit her, and then ask her and her friends to please donate marrow. He should have been a man about his ish and recognized the grossness of that video and asked for the university’s support of his drive. Be mature, put your ego to the side so you could have done the greater good. Coming back AFTER the drive to have an intelligent discourse on the message in that filth would have been the classy thing to do.

    • stewwie

      Precisely….It is like when racist get offended when you point out their racism to them, and then try to deflect the issues bake to you.

      People these days seem to think they should be able to offend with impunity.

      • http://www.yourtango.com/users/cheekee-baby cheekee baby

        Absolutely. His is arrogance and entitlement. In 2004 Nelly was somebody.

  • coolyfett

    That whole situation was messed up and the Spellmen chicks didnt need to bring that drama, the truth is they just wanted to bash that man to his face and he wasn’t with it. His pride got in the way trying to avoid the angry mob of women at that school. I love Tip Drill its one of my favorite videos and there is nothing a feminist society can do about that, but it is sad Nelly lost his sister. He should have tried again in DC or Chicago. Atlanta aint the only place black women live.

    • jmjg

      Looking to black women to save your lives, but couldn’t give a hoot about black women. Payback is B.

  • D.D.

    All he had to do was speak about the video that is is but instead he decided I don’t want to and canceled the drive. i am sorry but that is his fault even if it made him uncomfortable it was for his sister he should have done what ever it took. He could have just simply said they women in the video are there by choice or what ever he wanted to say.He was to proud to speak for and hour. He can not blame them for his pride.

  • Keli

    I think he meant a 6-block radius.

    I completely agree with the author. I see it both ways.

  • Whit

    I call bull crap on that whole “the women of that Spelman group sought to highlight the inequities and injustices of life instead of save one” argument because the students didn’t cancel the bone marrow drive Nelly did. He chose to hold on to his misogyny, refuse the conversation about his ways, and cancel the drive. That’s on him! And in the attempts to shame these sisters who dared use their voices instead of blindly offering their bodies on his terms the media, Madamenoire included, continuously fail to mention the bone marrow drive that DID occur at Spelman. Eff Nelly.

    • vwells1

      Can you find me a link of where Spelman had another bone marrow drive?

      • stewwie

        Hi girl, i gave you a thumbs up because no one else did….lol

    • vwells1

      Our site doesn’t allow people to post links but I did see it. Thank you.

  • http://2dopesistahs.com/ Da Hype 1

    It sounds to me like he is still grieving the death of his sister, and I deeply sympathize with him on that matter.

    However, as students of Spelman (who pay tuition), they have the right to protest whomever they like based on whatever standards they choose.

  • Neezy

    Wonder how many women that protested the video are down with the the “Twerk Nation” and/or still “drop it like it’s hot” at the blink of an eye when “Back That Azz Up” comes on?

    Inquiring minds…

    BTW – BET UnCut was a TV show for ADULTS, that came on at 3 AM, majority of the stuff on there could have been “protested” but they sought out Nelly’s video and why, specifically?? No one went after Ludacris’ “P-Poppin'” video, which was BEFORE Nelly’s “Tip Drill” came along.

    Adults that whine and moan about what other adults do is pretty stupid. Especially when women TODAY degrade themselves FAR MORE than women during that period EVER DID and no one seems to really give a damn. Ironic.

    • Janeen

      SAY IT AGAIN.

    • jmjg

      But guess what? He didn’t get the bone marrow.

    • hollyw

      That’s poor logic. No one else’s actions excuses another’s. He was too proud to be confronted on the video, and he’s upset that they withheld their standards. He wanted something to save his sibling’s life, and they wanted a conversation; he couldn’t even spare that?!

      Whether they danced they arses off to it on the following wknd, he was the only one to pay the price in the end. Right or wrong, hypocrites or not.

    • coolyfett

      Right I think once Nelly did his joint some chicks just had an agenda to scream and yell at the man. I said it in another blog, we fellas like bouncing booties and boobies with a pretty face. Nelly just gave us that with a hip hop beat. He painted a fantasy in his video that many men want to live out thats what made the video so cool. He just invited women over put on music and they went wild, which is the entertaining part of it.

  • truthdotcom

    Black women are the problem because they ALLOW black men to disrespect them. None of those women were forced to be in that video. There needs to be some ownership of the issues. Nobody spends more time disrespecting black women than black women themselves … And that’s just the truth.

    • Neezy

      FACT!

    • stewwie

      I agree with you to a degree,… But men supposed to be leaders. It is the failure of black men to set a standard which leads to some of our girls to do this kind of self degradation. This women are imitating and emulating this men because they are what other black men look up to.

      If black men didn’t supported this rapper and watch their videos, the problem wouldn’t exist in the first place.

      • Tonyoardee

        Black men don’t buy majority of albums or concert tickets… The women do

        • Paul Dronette

          Black men set trends though. And we need to start setting a trend of leadership and responsibility. Then stuff like this may be avoided.

      • Rissie75

        Wow!! I love your reply….and to think you and I was just going back and forth on another article, LOL. But I’m woman enough to say, thank you saying this!

        • stewwie

          we cool…lol

    • bkenya

      Sooo basically your stereotyping us as black women? Meaning that you believe those few women in the video represent us all, and the their participation negated any objection black women everywhere? The Spellman girls were owning the issue and demanding respect and acknowledgement from the main representative of the video.

  • Taj

    Maybe I’m the only one that agrees with Nelly full heartedly. I am prepared for hate to come and I am a woman that attended an HBCU at that time and other family are Spelmanites. But men only degrade women if women allow it. And he is right, woman at my school were talking about the video, but they were strippers and/or the first ones to dance to it st the club’s. Extremely hypocritical. I feel that women need to take as much responsibility as men when it comes to degradation. And it starts at home, because a lot of patents “pimp” out their children. I sympathize with Nelly and wish him well. But there were and still are more important things protest about then a video that doesn’t concern you.

    • Britt

      I agree with everything you said.

    • jmjg

      There is no hate, but you write as if you and Nelly have a right to Black folks bodies. You don’t and neither does he. It is getting very old hearing people say or seeing them write that “there are more important things to protest or fight about or worry about”. Who are you to tell anyone else what should be or should not be important to them? What gives you or anyone else the right to decide what Black folk need to do collectively? You nor Nelly own anyone and if you two are worried about folks responses to things, then treat them better.

      • Taj

        I’m not telling anyone what to protest for but lets be real, a dying person, hunger, proverty, the economy, things that actually affect you, or s music video/ song you can turn off or not buy, or a video game that again you don’t have to play. Yes perception and opinion is a personal thing, but I feel that it’s more important things out there. That all. And thank you for responding with respect and being able to agree to disagree, because as you know people go in on these sites. I appreciate the intellect on our brief conversation.

        • Touché

          Nelly canceled the drive not the girls!!!!! They wanted to have a conversation his pride got in the way of. It’s his sister! He shouldve had the conversation if it was that important to him!

          • flyguy

            His sister is getting closer to death everyday and you want him to time time out to talk about a video…smh

            • jmjg

              Yes.

      • Taj

        Ps. I also feel, (the man upstairs forbid) these girls should have donated because you never know who might help. Not saying it could have been Nellys sister, but that donation could go to a child, or someone in their family, you never know. All I’m saying is look at the bigger picture

        • jmjg

          People have been telling Black woman to look at the bigger picture forever. It does nothing for Black women. Black men as a collective(I know not all) have disregarded men, women and children in our community for too long. People of both genders are getting tired. If you want something from me, you are going to have to start giving to me. No longer will many of us give blind alligence to folks no matter who they are or what the want or need. That goes for individuals, institutions, churches, political parties, etc. it is just getting too old.

          • jmjg

            “they”

        • Spelmanite

          The women of Spelman did actually go on a hold their own drive, so they did donate. They just didn’t do it with Nelly’s camp, since he cancelled at all.

        • Nelly Sit Down

          those girls did donate bone marrow. They absolutely contributed! IT’s best to get the full story before judging.

    • flyguy

      You are not the only one…HE WAS TRYING TO SAVE HIS SISTER LIFE PEOPLE ARE YOU ALL CRAZY? and you want to talk about a video that the women in it wanted to be in..One day you will have someone you love on death door. What if the hospital tell you they want save your love one because of paper work or some other reason…How would you feel? I watch my dad in pain everyday with Cancer because the insurance company wouldn’t” ok the medicine he needed…When it hit home then some of you may change your minds.

      • Nelly Sit Down

        I would fill out the paperwork or do whatever they asks to save my loved one’s life. Too bad Nelly didn’t feel the same way.

  • heyheynow

    I’m just trying to understand the title of the article “I should have beat someone’s azz” really? Hunny that was almost ten years ago seeing at it is almost 2014. Like one of the comments below why is he acting like the only place he could have done the drive was at Spelman? Clark Atlanta was right there you could have went there. Morris Brown was still in existence then. I think Nelly just wants some attention bringing up old stuff give me a break.

    • Neezy

      Did it ever occur to you it could have been bought up DURING the interview, by the interviewer and he (Nelly) just went on to talk about WHY he’s still upset? Shut the hell up.

      • BabyBlue

        *brought up

        • Neezy

          Thanks.

    • Taj

      He did go other places, and if a family member close to you passed, I’m sure you wouldn’t want someone to say let it go after 20 years. And he’s chances were greater st schools like spelman since they are all girl hbcus.

      • Neezy

        his*

      • jmjg

        But if you don’t know who you may ever need, don’t you think you should treat people better? No one owned those Spelman woman’s blood or marrow, but them.

        • Taj

          He didn’t personally say hey spelman, I’m going to put yall in my video and personally force you to shake it and pour alcohol on you. No some people took the video to heart. Even though they ate the first ones to disrespect other women as well as themselves.

          • coolyfett

            Right I think the real issue comes from the fact so many men actually enjoy the video, so the anger from the opposite sex comes from those who feel we shouldnt get that sort of entertainment. They attack Nelly but Nelly is not the leader of what men find entertaining, he just gave dudes what they crave.

      • Froggage

        Apparently Spelman went on and had the drive without Nelly, so he can’t blame them for anything. He’s the one who cancelled — they went forward.

  • Val

    Please, he’s acting as though Spelman was the only place on the planet he could have had a bone marrow drive. This man is actually trying to blame the loss of his sister on Spelman?! WTF. I understand his grief but to heck with that nonsense. And, he still doesn’t even get what the protest was about. Dumb woman hating azz.

    • hollyw

      That’s what I was just trying to figure out, like, I seriously read it twice like what’d I miss lol?!? He only had one chance to get her a transplant AND she wasn’t on the registry??

      He lost a loved one and is upset, I get it, but if you ask me, he might just be projecting onto them, as them as kids had far less power of denying his sister a transplant than opportunity as a celebrity he had for getting her one…ijs.

    • coolyfett

      I could understand why he blames Spellmen College. I think he should have just went somewhere else. Once he knew the pitchforks were out he should have found another location. Just pick another HBCU. Look, a lot of us men really enjoy the Tip Drill video, just the same way yall enjoy Denzel movies. Its entertainment. I think he is being attacked because the video gives men what they naturally want to see. I dont think his intention was offend anyone with it.

      • BabyBlue

        Your comments make me cringe smh

      • Froggage

        I can’t even.

    • Tonyoardee

      To recieve a good grafh transplant many genetic markers have to be consistent and Spelman college being an all girls HBCU makes the most perfect sense in all actuality

      • Val

        Well, Bennett College is an all woman’s HBCU. so it would have made perfect sense to go there, in all actuality.

      • Froggage

        Which is exactly why it was so ignorant of Nelly to refuse to proceed there.

  • Caramel

    What???? So you want to degrade black women in a video and then black women should not ONLY take offense, but help him with his cause? GTFOH Nelly , I know your mama raised you better than that. . . and I’m a fan.

    • stewwie

      But his cause was to help anther black women and highlight the problem of not many black people volunteering for such causes, ….shouldn’t that take precedent !

      Why couldn’t the two issues be separated ? You don’t have to like Nelly but couldn’t we agree with the cause.

  • Britt

    I understand the ladies of Spelman being upset at the time, but I think the issue of trying to save someone’s life should have taken precedent over how they felt about a music video. I think if they wanted Nelly to understand where they were coming from, they shouldn’t have boycotted the bone marrow drive, but instead allow it to go on, and then invite Nelly to have a conversation with them about the issues they had. He would have probably been more receptive and empathetic to their feelings. Generally speaking, I think if you want someone to understand your point of view, shutting them out won’t do anything but cause lingering animosity that could be resolved, as evidenced here.

    This is all water under the bridge now, but I think it could have been cleared up with better communication.

    • B Cooper

      To my understanding, Nelly canceled. He didn’t want to have the Q&A forum regarding the video, so some of the students organized a protest (like there has been on several college campuses). Nelly was displeased with the protest so he canceled.

      • Britt

        Yeah, he canceled because they wanted to have the conversation first and then the bone marrow drive. He wanted it to happen the other way around. I just think if they would have had the bone marrow drive first and then expressed their dislike for the music video, things would have turned out differently and both sides could have gotten what they wanted and the young women may have been able to change Nelly’s views.

        • 9Boots

          If Nelly cared about his sister so much then he would not have canceled and he could have agreed to the conversation. Nelly needs to be a man, after all, there are men that go to war to die for country, and this fool has the nerve to wine because he refused to engage in a public conversation about his misogynist video. What a coward, his sister needed him and he failed to man up. COWARD. Nelly does not have ownership of any black woman’s body espcially the very women that he demeans.

          • Britt

            I just feel like the Tip Drill video wouldn’t have gotten made, if those women involved didn’t agree to do it. Could you explain to me how men going to war and dying for their country relates to Nelly?

            • 9Boots

              There will always be self degrading people in existence. Bottom line the video and that raggedy a$* song belong to Nelly therefore the captain goes down with the ship.

            • 9Boots

              If men can go to war and be willing to die because they love their country, the least Nelly could have done is attended the forum and face the public discourse for his sister that he supposedly loves.

            • DJ

              They man and woman up and face a challenge, they don’t run away. To those women who appeared in the video, they can be criticized too. They have no less responsibility than Nelly. He is the face of the video, so you know how it goes. You are held to the greatest responsibility.

          • stewwie

            bitter much….the women in the video were there by choice, no one force them and they got payed for it.

            Who are you tell them otherwise…

            • 9Boots

              Quit playing dense. Nelly and the broads that participated are all coons and their negative behavior affects all BW. I’ll tell you what, I’m going to go find some self degrading black men and put them in partial monkey suits and have them eat fried chicken, watermelon, and bananas while grunting and humping each other on you tube. Any BM that gets offended and says this exploits BM is bitter much.

            • Danie

              No one is telling them they can’t. Responsible people who know that all black women are judged by what the rap culture displays are requesting something better.

            • mac

              this argument is akin to the drug dealer defense: “no one forces their customers to do drugs”.
              Does it make them right?

              • stewwie

                well, it is true … no one forces drag customers to do drugs. So, if you are stupid enough to do drag, you bear the consequences. You have a free will to screw up.

                If there was no demand for drags there will be no drag dealers. The drag dealers are in it to make money nothing else. They are acting in there own bottom line. Why should they care about your life when you don’t even care about it ?

        • hollyw

          You seriously think Nelly was gone come back after he got his bone marrow drive out of them???

          Chile please! He already said in his commentary how full of sh*t he thought they were, and how most women in gen’l protesting the song were ‘undercover fans’ of the song, bc I guess it was just that fantastic…um no, he tried to play them. And didn’t win.

        • RW

          No, he didn’t cancel because they wanted to have the conversation first. He cancelled because he didn’t want students calling him to account for his music. The conversation the students requested was NEVER a requirement for the drive to take place; these were two completely separate issues. He could have ignored the students and still had the drive. Instead, he cancelled his participation, Spelman had the bone marrow drive anyway, and lives were saved as a result of Spelman pulling off the drive HE cancelled.

        • GUEST1

          I lost a beloved nephew to leukemia last year. I would have had the conversation – before, after, whatever.

    • hollyw

      I was almost with him until after he said they should have started the convo at a different time, and Lamont-Hill asked why he couldn’t have done that before the drive, then he responded that they should asked him AFTER?!

      If you seriously thought the issue was worth ya time, bruh, or at least the Spelman girls’ opinions as worthy as their bone marrows, you would’ve made enough time for BOTH topics. His response just let it be known that he didn’t care, and just wanted what he wanted. He’s defended the video to the death, so at the end of the day, it really just looks like he put his pride and career ahead of his sister, and took it for granted she’d get a donor until it was too late.

    • DJ

      All Nelly had to do was to take about 30 minutes to talk and to resolve the matter. He was well enough to try to organize the drive, he could have taken the time to clean up the mess that he, not the young women from Spelman, but that Nelly himself created. He is arrogant, and appears not to have respected anything the women were trying to talk to him about. I bet that is why they would not budge. You can’t come to someone for help and at the same time not even try to hide your distain. Oh well, black women buy a lot of music. Ask Lionel Richie. Nelly’s career is dead. He is lucky to have friends to keep hooking him up and allowing him to get some press. This can not last long though. You have to produce something worthy of supporting yourself with. His latest album is horrible. He is attractive, but you can’t make it just on looks. I pray that he proves to be more than a good-looking bubble-head.

      • Britt

        We can agree to disagree. Both sides should have handled it better. At the end of the day, nothing was solved and there’s clearly lingering animosity about the situation almost 10 years later.

  • Shay

    I feel a lot of sympathy for Nelly in the loss of his sister. No one should have to experience that pain.

    Having said that, the video for ‘Tip Drill’ was vulgar and sickening. I don’t know what he expected the response to be to that garbage, but you get back what you put out. The young women of Spelman had every right to question him about that vile video and how black women were depicted in it, then he shows up to ask for their help?? The fact that he didn’t want to stand in front of them and answer their questions and then continue with the bone marrow drive says more about him as a man.

    At this point, he just needs to let it go.

    • Rochelle

      OMG Is nelly mentally retarded? It is clear he has never been in anyone’s college with the way he talks. “We should have did,” “What could of happened,” My head hurts. I could not finish reading the article! This man is an idiot! Nelly, please pick up “Hooked on Phonics” or heck, watch an episode of Blues Clues. Do something! You sound like you made it to the sixth grade and dropped out. Actually most of these rappers that children look up to sound just like Nelly. Sad. To the topic, Nelly, this happened many years ago. I understand you lost your sis, but you have to own up to all things. Not just the good things. Yeah you were doing something good with the bone marrow thing, but you also made a degrading objectifying video, that contributes, whether directly or indirectly to the hateful feeling black men have toward black women. The women of Spellman choose to focus on YOUR ACTIONS. Maybe those same women are now protesting the local strip clubs, who knows…….Plus, we are not talking about strip clubs, we are talking about your nonsensical destructive “music.” Please do not negate. Own up to it!

      On another note. THIS, is what black people should be talking about. Not that other forum about “black names.” The forum where a lot of people were ganging up on me for my truthful comments. Lets talk about why this grown black man can barely speak English and why he probably never finished high school. Again, we focus on the wrong things. We have bigger fish to fry.

      • Herm Cain

        Oh shut up your probably working a 9 5 trying to get your savings together this man is filthy rich set for life and your critiquing his dialogue relax stick to topic

        • GUEST1

          Not that I totally agree with Rochelle. But, can we not criticize someone because they are filthy rich? So, we overlook the behavior of all these rappers and actors who are degrading Black women in their musicart simply because they are getting paid? That attitude is why this misogynistic rap culture has lasted more than 20 years, because Black people who know better will not speak out about the damage rap has inflicted on the Black community.

          We have these men (women) making the cover of Black magazines being honored by Black organization all along no one is talking about the path of destruction they are leaving in their wake. When someone is brave enough to speak out, they are made to feel like they are somehow a trader to the race and quickly silenced. Now we see how well this has worked out for us – highest prison incarceration rates of any industrialized country, highest number of children being raised in single family homes, highest drop out rates from high school. In the words of Bill Cosby: “Come On, People!”

        • Rochelle

          Nelly? Is that you? I didn’t know you read this site. LOL. So I guess you are on Nelly’s payroll? Or perhaps you want to be in his bed? Which one Herm? I have my coins and assets together. Better question: Do you? And since when does being rich equal intelligence? I bet you think Jay-Z and Kanye are geniuses huh? Are they your idols? You are pathetic, and what is wrong with the Black community. Looking up to and idolizing low-lifes like Nelly. I bet you have your “Tom Fords” because Jay-Z dedicated an entire song to the brand. So a fool like yourself, without a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of, ran out and wasted your money on another “luxury” brand. LOL. I’ll stop here because I know you probably have to run along to your shift at the Dollar General. However, next time you come for me, know what you are talking about. Later.

    • louvres

      nobody WAS depicted!!! They aren’t objects without opinion! They CHOOSE to do this!