15 Men You Shouldn’t Even Bother Dating Unless You’re A Glutton For Punishment

April 2, 2013 ‐ By Ashley Page

People aren’t always who they appear to be. After dating a guy for a little while or after getting to know a man for a few weeks, you may realize that he isn’t exactly what you thought or expected him to be. And in the dating pool, there are definitely some men that you want to avoid dating at all costs, here are 15 of them.



The player

No woman really wants to date a player, but for some reason a lot of females are attracted to them. Newsflash: a player has and wants no future with you. As the name entails, he’s doing nothing but playing you, wasting your time, and letting you go whenever he’s found a new lady to mess with. Players only want side pieces, and we’re all worth a lot more than that.

MadameNoire Video

Comment Disclaimer: Comments that contain profane or derogatory language, video links or exceed 200 words will require approval by a moderator before appearing in the comment section. XOXO-MN
  • English Oak

    I’m curious as to why a woman should need a variety of separate male friends whilst in a relationship. Surely the most emotionally secure lady would still question her man spending time with a variety of other women, even under the auspices of them being ‘friends’…what is he getting from them that she cannot provide? It would feel like a poor indictment of my standing as a man that my partner chooses the companionship of other men over me. For myself, when I am in a relationship I want to spend as much time with my partner as I can. She is funny, interesting, smart, caring, considerate, understanding and loyal…why would I need to seek out other women for the very same qualities she possesses?

    • Charles Ashley

      Women like to have backups. That’s why.

      • Charles Ashley

        Excuse me, *girls.

  • imnotsayingimsupersaying

    What the author wrote about the wannabe king was completely stupid. I mean seriously I understand that if a guy expects a woman to cook, clean, and do his laundry for him even if he does not give anything in return it can cause serious problems, but the article didn’t even say “expects” it said “wants” and lets be honest ladies we all want to receive things without having to give anything in return for them so wanting something and not wanting to give anything in return does not make an individual undateable, if it did everyone would be undateable. Another problem I have with the wannabe king is what the author said at the end “You deserve to be treated like a queen, or at least like a princess, not the other way around.” Really? A woman deserves to be treated like a queen or a princess and the man is to be expected to wait on her hand and foot? Even if she is just an average woman and he is just an average man? Sounds like the author of this article is either trying to get under people’s skin, has serious entitlement issues, or is bad at choosing words.

  • act

    Lol sounds like women should just stay away from black men. ..

  • Chrisdee Bowman

    Fully agreed. Message is RUN, FOREST, RUN! The gist of the article is that character counts. Although no person is perfect, significant character flaws (lying, cheating, insecurity, controlling, cheap, disrespectful… )then you should not waste your time with the individual – whether male or female. Lack of character is indiscriminate..but indicative of someone who is not ready for any long-term meaningful relationship.

  • Chrisdee Bowman

    Fully agreed. Message is RUN, FOREST, RUN! The gist of the article is that character counts. Although no person is perfect, significant character flaws (lying, cheating, insecurity, controlling, cheap, disrespectful… )then you should not waste your time with the individual – whether male or female. Lack of character is indiscriminate..but indicative of someone who is not ready for any long-term meaningful relationship.

  • Amy L. Cook

    Congratulations… You have just eliminated every man that has ever lived and who ever will live. We all have our quirks and faults. The secret to a successful relationship is to learn to tolerate another person, no matter what their faults. While I agree that people exhibiting the extremes of the behaviors you described in this article should be avoided (and probably have a mental condition they should tend to), you are going to have a VERY hard time finding someone without mild insecurities, flaws, problems, baggage, and the like . A lot of you are young readers, and you need to realize that people DO change as they grow. If you were to hold me up to the person I was when I was 25, you would be hard pressed to recognize me based on behavior. Some of us just have to live life and make a lot of mistakes before we can learn to be whole people. The bottom line is, you are never going to find the perfect man. He does not exist.
    P.S. It is very annoying trying to read this web page with so many active advertisements. Every time I get half way through a paragraph, some ad makes the whole screen jump 6 inches and I lose my place. No one ever reads these things, anyway, so why don’t you lay off?

    • Chrisdee Bowman

      Perfection does not exist, but character does. No one is judging anyone who has not developed character. Some develop sooner than others, all the article is stating is that during the development phase, those who have progressed a bit further do not want or need to be involved with the underdeveloped where character is concerned. I have no problem with giving someone time to grow, but we both need to recognize where we are and not cause more harm than good.

  • bobby1977

    wow! this is crazy. men aren’t perfect and women aren’t either. we as people possess all these qualities at one point in life and a times still due. real love is about compromise. we are human.

    • Eric Scott

      FINALLY…a sane comment

  • citizenrich

    Is this “blog” directed towards Africans in America? Because my black secretary told me the best you could hope for with a black man is a 600 credit score. And, that’s pushing it!

    • maggie

      When Africans come to America, they succeed and do quite well. Maybe your words are twisted.

      • tracy

        Do not forget Carribeans, as in Jamaican, Guyanese and Trinidadians etc who do very well with perfect credit.

    • tracy

      Not true, when discussing black men we have to consider class and education. My brother is black with an 800 credit score. My dad had one too. Black people have to be a collective because of racism but we are NOT the same and unfortunately its the loud talking ones that like to portray that al blacks are alike when were are vastly different.

    • Misty-Mac

      Your Black secretary should widen her horizons and stop hanging around in the lower socioeconomic crowd. If she wants a Black man with a great credit score she should first have one herself, which would bring her into contact with a higher socioeconomic group of people.

      In other words, back away from the projects.

    • Eric Scott


  • eyeman

    That’s right ladies. Only date perfect men. What you dont seem to recognize is the perfect man is really just a woman. Hmmmm what does that make all of you?

    • Laquesha

      Yes, a perfect man is the only one I’m interested in dating, or I will go gay.

      • Eric Scott

        lol good luck

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  • Now wait a minute this article is written as if all the women are perfect! I say date the person you love and improve together. First date at closest church!

    • Laquesha

      Not church!

  • White Guy

    One photo of a white man, and it was associated with the LAZY GUY. Out of shape and clueless-looking, while all the other photos were of well-dressed, fit, good-looking black men. Nah….that isn’t racist at all. Shame on you, MN.

    • Laquesha

      Yes, that pretty much sums it up!

    • Eric Scott

      This page can get pretty racist/feminist. Watch out

  • Ann

    Ashley, thank for writing this article. However, you just wasted your precious time and you could have selected another topic to write in place. Some women just refuse to learn the lesson on dating these type of men and want to be a glutton for punishment, get their butts kicked, and their heads whipped and want to pay the price. For some reason, they think they are special and can change the man. Hello and Newsflash: you cannot change a man or anybody, it is up to the individual if he has the heart and wants to sincerely change. I don’t know what is going to take for women to realize that once they see the signs of the type of men indicated in the above article they need to run in the other direction but sadly some don’t.

  • miemie

    That man can CONTROL me any day! :p

  • Alphonso’s Wifey

    I dated the insecure man, the baggage man and the fugal man, I look back on them now say to myself “why did I waste my time on those losers.Now glad that I’m married to a man who is a police officer and gives me and our 2 kids the world and I do the same for him.

    • Nicki

      Aww that’s awesome 🙂

  • Natasha T

    LOL at the Overly Controlling man pic. He’s cute but the angry face is so ROFL!

  • kerry

    hmmm from looking at the “Overly Controlling” man , maybe im alright with it and could get use to it. lol

    • kerrypleasebejoking

      It stops being cute……right around 1st bruise. #StopMakinLightOfAbusiveMen#

      • Eric Scott

        whoa…that escalated quickly

    • SXQN

      Don’t let outward appearance lead to a dangerous nightmare. Controlling turns to Abusive when he thinks/finds that he can NOT control you. It’s nothing to laugh about or at..*BeenThereDoneThatGotTheCourtCaseToProveIt*

  • Bequia

    What about 15 women a man shouldn’t bother dating? That would be interesting…the extremely insecure woman, the “clothes pins” – women who when you squeeze their heads, their legs open, women with no ambition (lawd…they are the worst…lol)…I can go on

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  • In today’s economy, I can’t really hate on someone who doesn’t have a job if he’s looking for one, in school, or otherwise making use of his time (helping at home, volunteering, et cetera). Jobs aren’t just laying around waiting to be taken, and I know a lot of brilliant, motivated people who can’t find work right now. If he’s laying around watching TV or otherwise being a bum, that’s different.

    • York

      Forget that; throw that man as much shade as humanly possible! If a man uses the state of the economy as his reason for not making a living, RUN. He better get his hindparts up and sell some Avon….he doesn’t need to wait for a JOB to hire him to generate legal income!

  • I dated the insecure guy…he was the type who also had to make a comment to me after any guy commented on one of my fb pics or if they approached me when i am out.. it was always “go be with your fb stalker” or something to that extent… actually glad to be done with that headache.

    • Insecure Folks Must GO

      An insecure man is the equivalent to a rabid pet. I don’t care HOW many ‘Strong Black Woman’ Degrees a sistah has attained. You WILL be effected by involvement and/or any attempts to instill assurance and confidence in a weakling who irrationally holds [her] responsible for Allllllllllllllllllllllllll his hangups (of which there are more than the # of letters in the alphabet!!!). They even find a way to question [her] Fidelity and Loyalty when she takes time away from him to spend with Immediate Blood Relatives – for a coupla hours. Expect the cell phone to ring and interrupt every moment. Be prepared to answer ridiculous questions (“you still love me, right?” “yo mamma/sister/cousin ain’t there tryna hook u up wit’ a new man, right?” “what y’all doin? put me on speakerphone”) Expect to cancel any plans for self-advancement (“what about meeeeeeeee?”) Expect to watch your personal identity diminish into nothing but the faded photographs of the You before Him…..and kiss that good-bye too. He’ll probably assume ‘another man’ took the picture and conveniently make it disappear – like any other signs of an autonomous existence. NO THANK YOU! Worse thing is; 1 outta 3 men ARE extremely insecure!

      • Nicki

        You arree soooooo right…..it’s exhausting! My ex couldn’t shop or drive without calling me cuz he said he didn’t like being alone. Just plain ol’ tiring!

      • SXQN

        You are VERY correct! I dated one who cut all HIS friends off because he wanted us to spend “quality time together”, and expected me to do the same. If I hugged a mutual male friend in greeting he would pout for hours and give me a lecture on why the hug could lead to other “liberties”. I just couldn’t take it anymore!

  • Reese

    I’ve dated guys who are combinations of some of the listed characters. They always left me emotionally drained and worse for the wear. Gosh!