Girl, You’re How Old?! Why She’s 30 (or Older) and Still Not Married

129 comments
October 27, 2012 ‐ By Brooke Dean
"WomanRelaxing PF"

Shutterstock

As a single, 30-something year old woman, I’ve got explaining why I’m still unmarried down to a science. You’re at a dinner party, a wedding, a barbecue, or at a place where everyone is coupled up, and then folks find out you’re single…still. Once they get past the shock of your singlehood, they ask you if you’ve considered YouKnowTheSite.com. That’s when it gets fun for me. I’ve actually practiced my responses. Here are a few:

Why are you still single?

“That’s a mystery right up there with ‘Who Shot Biggie?’”

“My fiancé is doing a bid”

“Why aren’t you?”

No one really asks smart, successful, good-looking men why they’re single but if you’re a smart, successful, attractive woman, people want to know what’s wrong with you. While many women find this question so maddening that they don’t even bother to answer it, other women might actually wonder if there issomething wrong with them. There is nothing wrong with being single, a woman, or in your thirties – all at the same time. But if you’re trying to figure out why a woman might be unwed and in her 30’s, here are some reasons to ponder…if you really truly care.

More from Styleblazer

More from Mommynoire

MadameNoire Video

Comment Disclaimer: Comments that contain profane or derogatory language, video links or exceed 200 words will require approval by a moderator before appearing in the comment section. XOXO-MN
  • Mayne

    or…#7 She’s with a guy that has intentions on proposing when he is financially stable but isn’t there yet.

  • realtalk

    1st of all… Anyone that believes the statement in #1 is a fool… Only woman that doesnt want to be married & never have is a HO!

  • greentea516

    A lot of single sistahs for different reasons, that doesn’t mean life should stop! Keep moving, trying new things, find passion in life and live for helping others. Know your purpose before trying to find it in another person

  • N

    I will be 30 next year and have gone through four serious romances in the last twelve years, however, I suffered depression and low self esteem from an abusive childhood and tended to pick guys who couldn’t be there for me in the ways that I needed them to be. Instead, I kept becoming someone’s mother rather than their girlfriend. Three of them thought of pursuing marriage, but I’m glad I never took that step with any of them. I’ve been single for a few years now and have done so much growing up just in the last two, that I’m almost a completely different person than who I was. I take care of myself better than I ever have, very rarely feel depressed and know now that being single is much preferable to being in a dead-end, bad relationship. I do not need a “perfect” man, just a good and honest man who shares my life goals. I have a feeling my 30′s are going to be so much better than my 20′s. I look forward to them!

  • Smmmoke

    ‘No one really asks smart, successful, good-looking men why they’re single….’

    With all due respect this is simply not true. People ask me why I’ve never married all the time. I always hear that I have all the right qualifications. My answer is usually that ‘I’m looking for what they’ve found in their own relationship.’ Most often the married men jokingly answer with something like ‘I ain’t found nothing but stress.’ Then I ask ‘why would I want that?’ I actually don’t believe guys when they say negative stuff…if their relationship was all that bad it would have ended by now.

    The truth is that everyone’s not going to be married on this earth and even if some of us do they can’t always choose when it will happen.

    Personally I don’t place much emphasis on getting married but simply finding the right person to love and grow with. My focus is on the finding the person AND developing the relationship, not so much the verification of it all.

  • lisa1022

    dont want to be!!!

  • DUMBBEACHPLEASE

    A LOT OF THESE DUDES ARE MORE DESPERATE THAN THEY LET ON. A LOT OF WOMEN AREN’T SETTLING FOR THEM AND ARE CHOOSING TO REMAIN SINGLE, SO THEY COME UP WITH BULLSHT ARTICLES LIKE THIS TO ATTACK THE WOMEN’S SELF ESTEEM. YAWN. REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY IS FOR CHILDREN. SADLY, IN A LOT OF CASES IT’S JUST NOT W O R T H MARRYING THEM.

  • mscharming88

    These articles are very good at bringing out the trolls, I must say.

  • shanitahz

    Didn’t know marriage had an age bracket…*kanye shrug*

  • get real

    Look you little crazy “since I can’t find a man I’ll just blame it on everything but me” feminist. Men marry women that are marriage material. We don’t let “wifey” pass us by, when we meet marriage material we wife that and do it quickly.. So blame your lonely disgruntled existence on yourself . I just read everything from “i don’t wanna get married” to “blk men in jail and being gay”. I mean the same ole bs from women who can’t find men. So keep making excuses and blaming everything and everybody but yourself. The only person that you need to blame is the militant feminist that you see in the mirror.

    • mscharming88

      *Lmao*, man you just made my night w/this comment. You and others like you swear they know the answer to every f*cking question ever posed to man, and it’s quite annoying to be honest. Always trying to define and knock someone else’s life choices when no one asked for your commentary. Please, build a bridge and get over yourself kind sir.

      • Jaina

        Shut up, Precious.

        • mscharming88

          Ooooh, you sure did get me w/that one (._.) Seriously thought, come better next time.

        • get real

          LMAO. From looking at her picture I can see why she doesn’t have a man. Sister girl please that picture down. Is this full of women that look like her? If so I can see why they have all of this hatred and anger built up. Men aren’t checking for them.

          • DUMBBEACHPLEASE

            WHAT’S WRONG WITH HER PICTURE?

            • mscharming88

              I’ll be awaiting the answer right along w/you (which I highly doubt will make me weep).

        • drama free

          @ get real and Jaina, those comments are not nice. beauty is in the eye of the beholder. If you don’t think you’re beautiful, who will. all type of men and women get married. of course I understand that you don’t see the beauty within a person first off when you are rushing into things. if more men and women would take the time to observe and get to know them, they will see other great qualities. you can’t see a women the first time on a bus/train or simply in passing and want to exchange numbers. I know of a man who on one side of his face was extremely droopy and had all this skin hanging (birth defect) and was married to a nice looking woman and had a couple of nice looking children. i wish i had gotten the story on how they met. she must have taken the time to get to know him and besides that, he had a lot of confidence and held his head up and made eye contact. you couldn’t convince him he wasn’t deserving of a decent looking woman.

    • DUMBBEACHPLEASE

      YOU DON’T ALWAYS GET THE ONES YOU WANT. MANY OF YOU GET REJECTED AND COMPLAIN AND TALK SHT, AS WELL.

  • ncntrol

    something to share. For all the single ladies in such a hurry to get married here is a piece of Biblical advice. Ruth patiently waited for her mate Boaz. So while waiting on your Boaz, please do not settle for any of his relatives… Brokeaz, Poaz, Lyinaz, Cheatinaz, Dumbaz, Cheapaz, Lockedupaz, Goodfornothinaz, Lazyaz or Marriedaz and especially his third cousin Beatinyoaz. Please wait on your Boaz and make sure he respects Yoaz!

    • 1Val

      rofllmao, rofllmao….

    • Shiron

      Oh my goodness, you are SO funny, Lol!! I am going to have to use that the next time I talk to my single friends!

    • Vince

      A played out analogy that’s been copied and pasted all over the “net”

      • ncntrol

        I think i mentioned it was “something to share” you being a man you must fit in there somewhere, or did I forget one like “gayaz”

  • Mrs M

    … Or you have Angry Black Woman syndrome or you spent your 20s hoeing at the club every weekend and nobody wants to marry the town bicycle.

    • DUMBBEACHPLEASE

      PLEASE. THOSE ARE THE FIRST ONES THEY MARRY. LOOK AROUND

      • Psuedonym

        True DIS!!!!

        I totally understood when the wave of boring women got married. (They’re safe and remind some men of what their moms lead them to believe they are like.)

        BUT when the wave came for men to be wifing up the hoe baby mommas (who weren’t their BMs), I was too through.

        I keep seeing this phrase thrown out on the Internet: “Hoes stay winning.”

    • lisa1022

      the hoes are the first ones to get married.

    • drama free

      the town bicycle…I can’t even chime in. take me out of the oven because I’m done.

  • cairo5

    The answer for this question should be ‘ have u seen most married couples, they look so damn miserable. The majority of them are steppin out on each other, and would kill to inject some excitement back into their life. So if thats marriage, thanks, but no thank you’.

  • chilady

    Two of my friends have gotten married. One is divorced (5 month marriage), and the other is pregnant with their third child, and she’s only 27. That wouldn’t be a bad thing if she didn’t hate her husband LOL.

    I use their lives as confirmation for me that marriage/family should not be entered into lightly. I’d rather work on myself and be patient while God works on the man he’s designed for me. Relationships are a beautiful thing when they’re right, but you should never be ashamed of not being in a relationship at a certain age.

  • http://twitter.com/Deirdre_B_Pride Unlimited Whispers

    I beg your pardon……I’m not getting married until I’m 60.

  • christmas808

    Or she could be a lezbo

    • Portia

      Lesbians are also married, not just straight women. You have a one track mind, seriously.

  • tracy

    GOOD COMMENTS LADIES!

  • Meyaka

    The real question is how come some women over thirty don’t have the sense God gave a 15 years old.

  • GRAYONCE

    THE REAL REASON 95% OF YOU LADIES AREN’T MARRIED BECAUSE NOBODY THAT YOU HAVE DATED WANTS TO MARRY YOU, OR ASKED YET. BECAUSE IF YOU FOUND A GUY THAT ACTUALLY WANTED TO MARRY YOU AND HE TREATED YOU RIGHT OR THE WAY YOU NEED HIM TO MAKE YOU HAPPY; YOU WOULD SAY YES IF HE ASKED. BUT THAT OPPORTUNITY HASNT BEEN GIVEN TO YOU.

    • DeepThinker

      Really???! I am so tired of male egos trying to convince us that we are totally bond by what MEN want. That we are not this or that until a MAN decides we are. Did you do a survey of all the men we date? Your ASSumption about the topic is the purpose of the article to clarify that not all single ladies are thirsty for a ring, make getting married a top priority OR are mature enough to recognize when they are ready to get married.

    • 1Val

      The real reason 100% of single ladies aren’t married is because they have not been proposed to by someone they wanted to marry. Contrary to what yo believe many women haven’t married not because they have not been proposed to but because they haven’t say yes to the proposer. And some women do NOT want to be married either.

      • GRAYONCE

        WELL IF YOU READ CORRECTLY, I STATED ABOUT THE SAME ISH YOU DID. I STATED THAT WOMEN HAVE NOT HAD THE OPPORTUNITY TO HAVE BEEN WITH A GUY, BLACK OR WHITE, THAT HAS TREATED THEM RIGHT. AND A MAN ISN’T GOING TO RESPECT A WOMAN THAT DOESNT RESPECT HERSELF. YOU CANNOT SIT HERE AND PUT ALL BLAME ON OUR BLACK MEN FOR THAT. BECAUSE THEY ARE PLENTY OF OUR LADIES THAT NEED TO CHANGE THEIR WAYS.

        • 1Val

          Black men can advocate for themselves they do not need any assistance from me. My primary interest are women’s interest not men. I will leave black women bashing for others to do.

    • Miss Anonymous

      Oh so I was suppose to say yes to my ex who had tried to come back when he left prison with a felony and was still having unprotected sex with other women? Now I will never get married, I couldve over looked the weed, pill popping, non motivated, Im-tryna-get-my-rap-career-started-at-24-so-im-not-gonna-get-a-job and the well-i-told-you-i-cheated-so-it-should-count-for-something lines. T_T

      • GRAYONCE

        SMDH BABYGIRL..YOU SOUND YOUNG. IF YOU’RE REPLYING TO MY COMMENT I STATED “MOST WOMEN HAVEN’T HAD THE OPPORTUNITY TO HAVE BEEN ASKED TO GET MARRIED BY A GUY THAT TREATS THEM RIGHT”; IT ISN’T ANYBODY’S FAULT YOU ATTRACT THAT TYPE OF MEN. SO TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTION. HELL NO, BUT I WOULDN’T HAVE GIVEN THAT PERSON THE TIME OF DAY TO BEGIN WITH..YOU’RE EX WOULDN’T HAVE THE COURAGE TO HAD ASK ME. BUT SEEMS LIKE YOU MIGHT NOT HAVE A CHOICE.

        • Miss Anonymous

          No thats why he is a ex. I was being slightly sarcastic to your comment about about “THE REAL REASON 95% OF YOU LADIES AREN’T MARRIED BECAUSE NOBODY THAT YOU HAVE DATED WANTS TO MARRY YOU, OR ASKED YET.” I did have someone ask but it was way after the relationship was over. Ohh! lol He did all the above after I ran like I was trying for the Olympics.

    • DUMBBEACHPLEASE

      NEWSFLASH: ANYONE CAN GET MARRIED. SOME PEOPLE ENJOY THEIR FREEDOM.

  • Kenya

    Don’t forget the woman that’s too damn ready to be married and scares off potentially good men with rushing

  • Machelle Kwan

    What’s for everybody else might not be for one particular person. Not everybody is gonna find a mate and that’s just the way it is. It’s called Life.

  • Pivyque

    You don’t have to explain anything. You can tell them some terrible story and make them uncomfortable if you want to lol I bet they won’t ask you again! But seriously, it’s rude to ask why someone isn’t married. People need manners.

  • Single Black Man

    There’s nothing wrong with being unmarried at the age of 30, 40 or 50. Keep Calm and Enjoy Life.

    • Denise

      I think this title should read, “Girl you’re how old, and how many divorced to you have under your belt? Every single person that I know of who married in their 20′s are divorced, and some of them have at least 2+ divorces under their belts. The focus shouldn’t just be on “getting married,” because technically, ANYBODY can get married. The focus should be on STAYING married when and if, you decide to make that committment.

      • Denise

        Oops, typo!–I meant to say, “how many divorces do you have” on that first line.

      • Machelle Kwan

        That’s so true. I got married and had two kids in my twenties and got divorced too. I”ve stayed single, while my ex just moves from one woman’s house to the next. You can’t heal your wounds so you can actually be in a stable relationship when you are constantly getting married or being in a relationship. That’s just crazy to me.

        • Denise

          At least you were smart enough not to just keep going from man to man, without spending some quality time by yourself. I believe there is just as much to be said for being single, as there is for being married. When you are single, it gives you time to work on and improve yourself–it should be viewed as a positive, and not a negative. After a relationship breakup 4 years ago, I decided to work on myself–I lost 65lbs, decided to return to college, finished getting my bachelor’s after 7 years of being out of school, and I am now in working on my Master’s degree. I also took this time to get my finances in order and to get out of debt, work on my cooking skills, and strengthen my relationship with god–which should be the most important relationship in your life anyway. If you have a quality relationship with god, you can’t help but have a great relationship with others. That break up turned out to be the best thing that could have ever happened to me–I feel that I am now a better person for it, and I am finally ready to welcome a good, quality man into my life.

          • Machelle Kwan

            Amen to that. My spiritual notch turned up 20 levels since i’ve been alone. People shouldn’t bash folks who don’t have a mate. They may end up having wisdom and gifts that others who are always coupled up don’t. Nurturing SELF should always be a top priority.

            • Denise

              Amen to that!

          • Kayo Halana Malie

            We are always going to be ‘working on ourselves’ as long as we live, single or not.

            • Shiron

              I agree, we are always going to be working on ourselves, in or out of a relationship. However, I think that when we are in relationships with others, we have a tendency to become more focused on that individual at the exclusion of ourselves. For myself, I found that being single gave me the oportunity to do some serious self-reflection, and to realize that the relationship I had been in was not the healthiest for me.

    • JaneDoe

      Thats what I say… 20′s, 30′s are some of your best years. Marraige is forever in my eyes why waste those yrs. Enjoy them and and let life happen

    • tracy

      TRUST AND A PEACE OF MIND!

  • Miss D

    My sister is 30 and has little to no desire to be married. I’m glad that she is honest with herself instead of getting herself into a bad situation.

    If you want to be married, don’t rush or do it because all of your friends are getting married. The divorce rate is high now because people are more interested in a WEDDING rather than a lasting marriage.

  • get real

    She probably screams “I’m strong and independent” from every chance she gets which will turn any man off. She may be damaged goods. She may have bad disrespectful kids. She may not be marriage material. She may have a crazy drama loving “don’t have no N around my kids” baby daddy. And last and certainly not least the girl may just be wack..

    • 1Val

      I agree every black woman is not marriage material. Many accomplished black women refuse to settle for black men who are incapable of financially providing for them, will not accept a black man’s baggage of ex-wives/baby mamas/multiple children/child support burdens, will not be a roommate responsible for half or more than half of household expenses while being expected to defer to husband as “man” and “head of household”, will not permit a man to have affairs and turn a blind eye to those affairs, will not have a sorry excuse of a man be a role model for their unborn children, will not be with men who do not respect themselves, black women and community, will not take a butt whipping and stand by her man, will not make a man more important than her career, family or herself nor will she VALUE having a husband over being happy. In short, many single black women are unmarried because too many black males are unfit to marry.

      • Kay

        Preach sister!!!!

        • 1Val

          Whenever others discuss black women’s dating and marriage stats oftentimes they fail to mention dire straits of black men. Who and what type of black men are fit to marry anybody? Black women are NOT the problem here.

          • anony

            HNNNN!!! Say that sh!T!

            • 1Val

              With divorce rates as high as they are black women who have married got divorced because they discovered just how useless their husbands were. Its 2012 black women should not be defined by their love relationships with men. Whenever society blames black women for status of relationships it is impossible to talk about them without talking about black men. I refuse to participate in a one sided discussion holding black women accountable for EVERY ill in the black community while absolving black men of any and all responsibilities for their actions. Black women can not be both women and men in the black community. Enough is enough of the shame and blame tactics of black women who are NOT scapegoats for societies problems.

      • Denise

        I personally do not wish to come on here and bash Black men, simply because I feel that we already have enough of that on a daily basis (bashing each other) in our communities, which leads to resentment and division; however the success rate of interracial marriages between Black men and White women does not seem to be any better, in fact Black males are faring far worse when they get with White women–they have the highest divorce rates of all the interracial couplings, and even HIGHER than that of Black male/Black female pairings, so it looks like even when Black men marry out, that is not working. There are many who are going around saying and implying that “marrying out” is somehow better, well so far, the proof is not in the pudding!

        • Machelle Kwan

          That’s so true. At then end of the day, there’s just going to be a lot of black women childless and mateless because there’s simply nobody for them to marry due to incarcerations, homosexuaity, too many children, and just pure inability to provide for a family. It’s really a sad reality.

          • 1Val

            Black women aren’t restricted to dating and marrying African American men.

          • Shiron

            I think that for Black women who are not comfortable with interracial dating, it may be good to consider Black men from other cultures– I believe that could also be a possible solution. I don’t feel that we as Black women have to give up finding a suitable mate. Thankfully, god above created a vast universe of possibilities that we can take advantage of, if we so choose, we just have to expand our vision.

        • 1Val

          You refer to critiquing black men as male bashing and I refer to it as telling the truth. Black men shamelessly assign fault to black women for their shortcomings while many black women opt to take the high road by not speaking negatively of them. Until more black men are willing to be honest with themselves and acknowledge they are part of the problem resentment and division will continue in black community.

          • http://twitter.com/michellehobama Lavern Merriweather

            Are you kidding me?!! Every DAY on blogs I see ‘black men ain’t s**t’ comments so come off it with that high road crap that is such BALONEY!! You all talk just as much if not MORE mess about black men so who are you fooling?!! And by the way some of you aren’t so great either please stop acting like your s**t don’t stink.

            • 1Val

              Again, black men do not need me to advocate for them. I will leave that for others to do. Carry on…

      • Machelle Kwan

        Amen. I know plenty of them like that in the black community. It’s actually pretty sad that the pool of black men for stable relationships is low. Most in urban environments are shackled with many children and many “baby mamas”. How can you build financially with someone like that? You can’t. I don’t have multiple baby daddy drama in my life and i’m not gonna accept from a guy either.

        • http://twitter.com/michellehobama Lavern Merriweather

          So they are just NO black women with multiple children by multiple partners?! And you talk about a bunch of ‘baby mommas’ well what about those women they kep making babies with?! Why don’t they demand a RING before they spread their legs?!

          • Miss Anonymous

            Why dont the “men” who see that a woman has 3 kids already think that “Hey she has never been married and have 3 kids already, she is likely highly fertile so having sex with her protected or not may not be in my best interest.”, or “Hey her kids are 6 months apart with different dads this may not be the best choice for me to lay down with her”?

            And no it isnt men with multiple kids doing this its ones with no kids. I know a girl who has 4 kids, different dads and each of the men she was the first to have a kid by them.

          • Miss Anonymous

            I had a guy who wanted to date me. He was 30 with 4 kids and
            never married. His kids were 11, 9, 7 & 7. I asked if the youngest ones
            where twins and he said “No, they were born a week apart and I now have a
            vasectomy.” Me I have no kids I would like to have some but Im not ready to
            play step mom to kids my sister’s age, so I bid him adieu and ran as fast as I
            can. If I can run like Shug was trying to get to Celie in The Color Purple from a man with multiple kids why cant my male peers do the same?

          • Kasali

            @twitter-341008371:disqus Ok…… Why are you so angry and harsh in your comments? Relax, geez…. Its an open forum, therefore everyone wont agree or think the same way you do. What you’re saying is totally valid, but your overtly disgruntled approach may not allow some folks to see your point.

          • drama free

            I’m 41 with no children. i refuse to be any of the women you just mentioned. i was not expecting to be unmarried without children at this age but i’m not going to sttle for just any man. a lot of us still have standards. i’ve had coworkers say just meet a nice guy and have a child…YOU GOT TO BE KIDDING ME! some of those women would not do such a thing they suggested especially the asian woman.

      • get real

        Please. From reading majority of these comments women aren’t married or marrying because they wanna be single “don’t wanna marry” etc. Stop the “unfit” blk male nonsense you crazy militant feminist.

        • Miss Anonymous

          Idk just because someone grows up in a 2 parent married (or not) home doesnt mean they will have the best views on marriage. If you hear some of the things some women had to deal with back in the day it will make you look at them differently. I have a fam member whose husband cheated on her and MADE her raise the kids he had with other women, not to mention he tied her up to a tree and shot towards her once. Not all marriages people are around will be great and on the same note not all marriages leave people unhappy. I can see both sides of the coin.

          • Yaya

            That’s pretty extreme, no?

            • Miss Anonymous

              Yeah it is, I cant even look at either of them the same anymore. It blew my mind.

        • 1Val

          Your inability and unwillingness to examine error of some black males ways are exactly why black women are rejecting proposals, refusing to date and involve themselves with misogynistic black men. It would behoove you to critique black male behavior instead of castigating black female behaviors. A black man attempting to define my womanhood makes as much sense as non-black person telling me what it is to be black.

          Therefore, kindly direct your posts to low self-esteem black women vested into black males opinions of them. I’m unconcerned with you, your opinion and quite frankly black males like you are unworthy of interacting with black women. There are white women out there better suited for you so please go interact with them. Take care.

          • get real

            Lady you are damaged beyond repair. Your combative and argumentive attitude is why no man wants you. You live up to every “angry blk woman” stereotype there is. No man blk or white would date you, they don’t want the daily headaches that comes from dating crazy feminist like you. Lose some weight, get in the gym and change your attitude then maybe men will start checking for you. So again Sister Soulja look at that crazy argumentive woman in the mirror, because she is the reason that she is single and can’t find a man to save her life.

            • DUMBBEACHPLEASE

              SHE DID THE SAME THING YOU DID, SHE JUST DID IT BETTER. ANGRY BLACK MALE DIDN’T YOU HEAR HER SAY THAT SHE DOESNT WANT YOU TO WANT HER OR DO YOU LACK COMPREHENSION SKILLS?

              • get real

                First of all push the “Caps Lock” button before posting to me. Only retards type in all CAPS. She doesn’t have to want me (or other blk men) but if she thinks “white daddy” is going to put up with her drill sargeant combative existence then she got another thing coming. So again you join hands with the drill sargeant and you both take a good look in the mirror. Because what you see is why no man will marry you.

              • 1Val

                Most black women would NEVER justify or debate their humanity with a bigot. So there is no reason to do it with a misogynistic black male.Therefore, I will NEVER indulge, empower or validate foolishness spew from black women haters mouths. For me a chauvinistic black male is akin to a white klansmen telling me I have NO value, worth or right to be because I am a black woman.

                Only black men who have demonstrated they are WORTHY of my presence will receive any interaction from me. Any black man that will verbally disrespect a black woman does not DESERVE her attention. Far too many black women are acknowledging and validating black male POS which should have been stepped in and wipe from their feet.

                • get real

                  (eyes wide in disbelief) Lol. Lady was this suppose to be taken serious? Are you joking? And I ask these questions with all seriousness.

      • lisa1022

        YOU ARE AWESOME!!!! MUAH!

    • DUMBBEACHPLEASE

      AND THE DUDES?

  • Kells

    I hate when so much emphasis is placed on numbers. Its better to wait for the right person to spend the rest of your life with than to settle for Mr Right Now because your so-called time is running out. Personally, I am not a fan of divorce so I will wait until God feels its the right time for me to be married

  • IllyPhilly

    I’m almost 30 and the reason why I’m not married is because I got a divorce. LOL.

  • http://www.facebook.com/courtney.puzzo Courtney Puzzo

    those are obvious reasons and another is if she’s of famous parents and witnessed her mother have to batt off her fathers fans she may have been frightened of it Nell Newman for example didn’t marry until she was 46 on May 1st 2005 while her mother had been 28 when she married her father

  • GeekMommaRants

    Life is too short to be miserable. I know only two couples who are genuinely happy and content with their marriage. Everyone else I know, is nagging me to join their misery party. I RSVP’d a while back. The truth is one size does not fit all.

    • Kayo Halana Malie

      What exactly makes life ‘too short’? I’m just curious behind the meaning of this saying.

      • Kay

        “Lifes too short”. Meaning you could die any day, hour, moment and should live your life as such.

        • Kayo Halana Malie

          Life being ‘too short’ is a matter of opinion really.

          • Kay

            Not really it is fact. You can die any moment. So someone dying at 15 doesnt make you think ” damn life’s too short”? Let me get my 20 something year old assss in gear

            • Kayo Halana Malie

              It is NOT a fact. And no, someone dying at 15 doesn’t make me think life is too short. It makes me think that it is unforntunate for one to die at a ‘young’ age.

              • Guest

                I bet that 15 year old is saying “Life is too short”!!

                • Kiyoko Kayo Hisoka

                  Not if she/he is dead.

              • GeekMommaRants

                You have a different perspective. We are talking sudden death for no apparent reason. This does make life very short for some. So be happy and enjoy every minute!

                • Kiyoko Kayo Hisoka

                  What if I don’t want to be happy and enjoy every minute?

                  • GeekMommaRants

                    Your decision Madame, always your decision!

      • Kells

        For one you can take a look at the speed that time is flying. There is not enough time in the day, weeks, months to accomplish all of what we as people would like to do. So in that sense life is short. For the time that we do have we should live life to the fullest.

        • Kayo Halana Malie

          How can one ‘take a look at the speed that time is flying’? Time is intangible. Whether or not some people do not have enough time to accomplish all of what they would like to do is dependent upon the person. And what exactly constitutes ‘living life to the fullest’?

          • PosterGirl

            Noting the passage of time does depend on the person, as does the definition of living life to the fullest. For many of us, that means that we should do the things that will make us the happiest, and realize that putting things off can negatively affect the time we have to do them. Bottom line, live contentedly and in a fulfilled manner.

      • GeekMommaRants

        We only live 70-90 years, we are not immortal. That’s my point.

  • Elaina

    Who says you have to be married at any age? I don’t get it. I am 30+ and unmarried and the thing is, I have ZERO desire to be married. Not every woman wants to be married. That’s one of the reasons why the divorce rate is so high. Societal pressure… Don’t fall for it! Live your life!

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/TUEXVVHBFHYJ5T36VNTAD3PYTQ Cool Breeze

      Nobody is looking to get with you.

      • eemm

        Or you don’t wanna get w/a loser!!

  • Kayo Halana Malie

    I’m 26 and the reason I am not married is because I don’t care to be.

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/TUEXVVHBFHYJ5T36VNTAD3PYTQ Cool Breeze

      More like nobody wants YOU.

      • Machelle Kwan

        What does it matter if somebody “wants” her or not? The most important love anyone can have is love of GOD and love of SELF. I pity anyone that’s waiting for someone else to bring them the joy they desire. You’ve got to live your life in the moment. Find purpose and joy NOW. Nothing in life is promised. Not even having someone else to love you.

      • Denise

        Apparently, nobody wants YOU, since you are hanging out on a Black women’s website looking for attention–we are not checking for you, but you sure are checking for us!

      • Kee

        Why don’t you shut up and get a life outside the internet, you pathetic derp. Ugh.

  • d4ovey

    Thank you for this article….

  • ANTMilf

    All I have to say is good things comes to those who wait. Just because you’re over 30 with no ring don’t mean nothing. Plus not all women want to be married.

  • L-Boogie

    Stay single

    • Candacey Doris

      Knew i would see you on this article.

    • Machelle Kwan

      You always say that on these kinds of articles and you might be on to something. People are just too phony and deceptive these days to believe in “love”.

  • Coco Black

    I just tell them to mind their business lol!!! Boy, I just thank god I didn’t marry or get engaged to any of my ex’s…I’d be divorced or going to get a divorce. Yes…I’m 30+ but I now know exactly what I want…I didn’t know what I wanted in my 20′s. My princes is out there I’m just waiting to meet him…I’m not stressing at all. Other people can stress…but I sure as well ain’t!

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/TUEXVVHBFHYJ5T36VNTAD3PYTQ Cool Breeze

      Nobody is checking for you but stray cats and hungry dogs.

      • Kay

        And the only thing you could catch cool brees would be fleas that your monkey asss caught while in the jungle.

        • tracy

          LOL…!

      • Coco Black

        Are you referring to me?? If you are you need to come better than that!!

      • OHHH

        No one is checking for you either.

      • DUMBBEACHPLEASE

        POOR THING. YOU WANT A WIFE AND CAN’T GET ONE, HUH? HA HA HA

    • DeepThinkers

      Me neither! I am so glad I did not inherit the misery of being ball and chained to one of my exes. I see their current wives and the drama they deal with… alcholoism, surprise side babies, side slores and just broke triflingness I am so glad I dodged those bullets.