While planning our wedding, my husband and I talked about where we were going to live after getting married. I had a little one-bedroom apartment and he had a house, so the choice was a no-brainer. I’d moved four times in the past two years and though I actually liked always moving to a different place, the thought of having one address for an extended period of time was fairly intriguing. (I can’t tell you how many magazine subscriptions I’ve paid for that never actually caught up with me during all of my apartment hopping.) Still, I wanted us to move to a new place together. I was looking forward to house-hunting, picking out my neighborhood and taking a picture in front of our new house next to a “SOLD” sign. But putting his house up for sale in this housing market wasn’t so practical so three days before our wedding, I moved in with him.
The whole living together thing has actually been my favorite part of marriage. It’s like a sleepover with your best friend every night! We’ve been married less than a year so we’re still enjoying the novelty of waking up together every day. I think waiting until after the wedding to shack up helped prevent those post-wedding blues I’ve heard about. Apparently, after spending so much time planning the wedding, women can feel down after it’s over. Fortunately, adjusting to living together has been a new form of excitement and I don’t miss wedding planning At. All.
I don’t use the word “adjust” lightly though. Moving into a guy’s house can be a major adjustment. My husband’s place was not a gross bachelor pad by any means, but it’s pretty manly and I wanted to spruce it up. He’s done his best to make me feel welcome. He even told me I am free to paint, move things in and out, and decorate as I see fit, but it’s hard to feel 100 percent at home when moving to someone else’s place.
Decorating would help and that would be easy if I were one of those Martha Stewart-types who could transform a room using stuff they find at a yard sale. Unfortunately, I couldn’t even decorate an office cubicle if I were getting paid for it, let alone a house. People always ask me, “Have you decorated his place?” Ummm….I hung my vision board on a wall over my computer desk if that’s what they mean.
Fortunately, moving into a guy’s house isn’t as bad as some might think (nothing like the horror stories I heard before tying the knot). You always hear about the female neat freak marrying the male slob, but I think my husband may be even neater than I am. Go figure! Plus, considering he has been cleaning, cooking and grocery shopping in his own house for years, now that we live together he hasn’t suddenly forgotten how to use his dishwasher or laundry hamper. We share the chores and don’t get into any of the weird gender wars that I hear about from other new married couples. Of course, that may have to do with personality and not actually be a benefit of moving in with him as opposed to moving somewhere new. I’m not sure.
We’ve definitely learned a lot about each other in these first few months and I’m learning about myself too – like how I’ve always found it’s easier to complain and blame even the most ridiculous things on my own discontent instead of actually putting in the work to bring about change. For instance, I’d been complaining about our living room needing photos, so my husband offered to help me hang pictures on his day off. Well, our “day of decorating” ended up being him hanging photos while I sat in another room writing an article on my computer. Our wedding pictures are hanging up all over our living room now, but I can’t even take credit for that. Clearly, decorating wasn’t as high on my priority list as I’d made it seem with my complaints. Let’s hope he doesn’t ignore me next time!
I still think it’s ideal to move to a new place together instead of one person having to move into someone else’s space, but when that’s not an option, I’ve found moving into his place isn’t so bad. In fact, it’s actually pretty cool.
What do you think? Have you ever moved in with a guy? Did you find it hard to adjust to living in his place? Would you rather move somewhere new together?
Follow Alissa on Twitter @AlissaInPink or check out her blog This Cannot Be My Life
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