The Little Things That Make Every Man Feel Special…

January 21, 2012  |  
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When it comes to relationships, men and women tend to want the same things – it just seems we want or need them in different ways. For most men, respect and love are synonymous and are weighed the same, but how we show love and respect to a man may not always fall in line with what we women expect from our mate. Small gestures can yield great rewards when dealing with the heart of a man, so applying some of these simple practices can breathe air into your relationship by simply letting him know that you love and appreciate him….just as he is.

Gas him up!

Men like compliments too – so if your man has a killer smile, amazing washboard abs or big biceps – tell him! We all know how great we feel when a man pays us a sincere compliment, so letting your man know that you love his style or the way he walks will make him feel 12 feet tall! Choose something specific, and maybe unexpected, that you find attractive about him, and let him know in a genuine way that you only have eyes for him. Try to tell him 3 things that you love about him every day. He’ll be on Cloud 9 for weeks!
Make him feel needed
Most men like to feel useful – whether it’s fixing the kitchen sink, screwing in a light bulb or solving your crisis at work. I’m not suggesting you nag him to death or bog him down with chores, but find ways to let him know you need him by asking him for his help or his advice every once in a while. Men are great problem solvers, and they truly want to help the woman they love through their challenges. The reason most men shy away from “independent” women is because they sometimes send a message that they don’t “need” a man. But being self sufficient doesn’t mean the men in our lives serve no purpose, so let him be the man and thank him for all that he does on a daily basis.
Stroke his ego in the bedroom
Even if he isn’t the best lover you’ve ever had, make him feel as if he is. Men can be very delicate when it comes to their sexual prowess, and they take pleasing their woman very seriously. Let him know how attracted you are to him sexually, how he turns you on, and what you love about his body. Send him a text saying you can’t wait to get home to him and turn him out, then drink a Red Bull and get ready. He’ll be so turned up you’ll need all your energy to handle the monster you’ve created!
Ask him about his job and praise his accomplishments
Most men take pride in their career and place a certain value on the level of success they’ve achieved. In most cases, men tie success directly to their manhood, and their work gives them a sense of purpose. If they share their achievements with you, it’s because they want to impress you, and show you that they are capable of providing a future for you both – so acknowledge that! Be his biggest cheerleader and give him the admiration and respect he seeks and deserves – the returns will be tenfold.
Ask him about his interests or hobbies as well
All work and no play can make any man a dull boy…so ask him what he likes to do for fun – and be genuine about it. I know for some women, we really couldn’t care less what a touchdown or an RBI is, but it wouldn’t kill us to sit with him while he’s watching the game and ask questions (during the commercial). He’ll be delighted that you’re interested in something he enjoys, and if he is truly digging you, he will gladly share and feel special that you have an interest in HIS interests.
Laugh at his jokes
Men LOVE a woman with a good sense of humor – it shows she doesn’t take life…or herself too seriously. Men also tend to tie their sense of humor to their egos, so if we show them that we get their jokes, and actually think they’re funny, it’s a sign of approval and validation in a fun way. Appreciating a man’s comedic delivery can mean that we understand him, thus creating a connection…and what’s not to love about a person with a funny sense of self?
Cater to him sometimes
If your man has been hard at work or stressed out, rub his neck or give him a nice massage. Draw him a bath or prepare a nice meal for him. Even if you aren’t much of the “domestic” type, catering to your man can simply mean not crowding him as soon as he walks in the door, giving him time to unwind before you launch into a speech about how your day was or what needs to get done around the house. Sometimes realizing that he wants you there, but that he doesn’t feel like talking, is all the catering you need to do. So hand him the remote, let him kick his feet up and be quiet. When he’s ready to talk, ask him how his day was…and listen.
Don’t sweat the small stuff
Not everything in a relationship needs to be over analyzed or beaten down into the ground. So if he unintentionally offends you by not noticing your new hairstyle, let it go. Focus on what he does right instead of harping on everything he does wrong. So he left a glass in the sink…so what??? Be forgiving. Praise his great decisions and minimize his bad ones. Don’t say “I told you so” or take the opportunity to always have the last word. Don’t argue just to hear yourself talk, and don’t focus on always being “right.” Give him the benefit of the doubt and don’t expect him to read your mind. Chances are he really doesn’t know why you’re upset or what he did wrong – and we know that. Just let it go.
Brag about him to your friends
Men love this. Giving him compliments privately is a wonderful thing, but letting the world know how great your man is will having him blushing and wondering how he got so lucky to have a woman like you. Even when he’s not around, let others know what you love and appreciate about your boo. It sets the tone for mutual respect, love and admiration as he will do the same for you unconsciously. It’s easy for us to get complacent in our relationships, so doing a little boasting about your man every once in a while can serve as a reminder of why you love him and just how important he is to you.

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  • Mage

    This was the best article of its type that was written by a woman that I’ve ever seen. It is pretty basic, but then again, most men are pretty basic. Women tend to project complexity onto us but we’re fairly simple. I see a lot of woman have problems with #10, but as a man, I have to warn women to be careful about number 6. It’s cool to show an interest in our interests and hobbies, but if you’re going to ask questions during the game, do it during a commercial! And if you aren’t into sports at all, and he knows it, don’t bother asking questions. He may get suspicious about why you’re so curious all of a sudden.

  • KarmasABeyotch

    That was soooo basic. That is about treating them like we would want to be treated. Nothing about that was unique to men for real smh. Give some Steve Harvey-type detailed advice!

  • sailau

    Is that how u tame the gorilla, he’s all mines boo boo and he treats me like a queen~ I love u Christopher! lol

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  • Witch Hazel of Witches’ Brew

    LOL. I’ve actually heard from men that good “brain” won’t keep them.

    I like this list.

  • Ms_Sunshine9898

    All of this is so true but you can do all this if you want to, none of it matters if at the end of the day the man doesn’t feel the same way about you or doesn’t really want to be in a relationship. . .

  • ElvisWasAHero2Most

    Madame Noir, I suggest giving a raise to the research department, this is dead on accurate.  Now as a man, how can I subtly suggest my woman do these things?  I don’t want to be as obvious as emailing her this article.  

    • Tawana Z

      LOL!!!! eh eh!! LOL.

      ok on a serious note, best advice to give you is to “be the change you want to see”. now, this means do these things with your wife/gf if you haven’t been noticing things about her or asking her about her hobbies or telling her what you like in the bedroom….DO IT FIRST!! She will start noting and the way you make her feel will be great that it will be natural to reciprocate!!! if she doesn’t reciprocate then come back and ask me for more advice but honestly I think she will because her eyes will be opened to see what a wonderful man she still has….!!!!!! “do to others as you want others to do unto you” –God Bless you brother!

  • I think if you’re really in love, all these things go without saying!

  • FromUR2UB

    Okaaaay.  I’ll laugh at his jokes!  But he better laugh at mine too.

    • Hope Floats


  • MatureVegasWoman

    Contrary to what Anixon06 sees in this article, I see this as helpful suggestions for women who love their husbands and want to find alternative ways to show it. All the suggestions are good, except, as others have wisely noted, #10. It’s all well and good to remark that you and your husband are happy, but there’s no need to elaborate. There’s an old Sippy Wallace song that says “women be wise, keep your mouth shut, don’t advertise your man.”

  • Anixon06

    This list is basically suggesting women be fake and stroke a man’s ego in order to keep him around. I’m all for being sweet, but when you are forcing it, it’s not sincere. And who really wants to be in a relationship where they are pretending to like and enjoy everything about there mate just so that he/she will want to stay around. What if said brother is lacking in certain departments and positive feedback would help him improve (i.e. the bedroom). The suggested list will most likely create a selfish, egotistical man.

    • Tawana Z

      Hey! I’d like to respectfully disagree with your comment. Being fake would mean that you are not in a REAL relationship. I think all these things (maybe except for number 10 because of women sometimes) is are NATURAL things that ANYONE be it a man or woman would do in a HEALTHY relationship. If we turned the tables, you as a woman would want a man to notice the little things, to ask you about the work you did, to give you time off when you’re tired from a busy day, to be forgiving when you don’t notice his new suit or tie. Its all normal!!!! I think these come naturally as expectations. If anything, the article is just re-affirming that these things STILL matter and because we are HUMAN beings and are not perfect, someone reading this migh realize that they unintentionally forget to let their husband rest or to just compliment. 🙂 The article says how to make him feel SPECIAL…not how to make him stay. A man who cheats and leaves will always be the only blame due to his own insecurity, even if a woman did all these things and more a man can still leave and cheat so itt will be about him. 🙂 Hope this helped!! God Bless you sister!

    • MOT

      Its suggesting you to learn how to be a woman. An ego stroke is what men need at times. Men stroke women egos all the time. It feels good to get hugged just because. There is no feeling greater than feeling loved and having a good woman .

  • Serena

    Every man wants to feel appreciated and respected. I also agree with the comment about it going both ways. Love the article, keep it up!

  • היי חבר’ה אני אוהבת את האתר הזה מאוד .
    אתיופית מישראל אוהבת …


  • Jayda

    All of these work both ways; men can also use it to make their women feel extra special. But, yeah… I can’t get with the last one because I don’t want all these chicks up in my relationship business! They don’t need to know any more than the fact that I have a good man – no details necessary. Also, some ladies don’t know how to do this in moderation (like my soror who constantly talks about how wonderfully perfect her new boo thang is on FB, Twitter, and real life), but that’s another can of worms.

  • I agree with this list except for number 10, you can’t trust woman these days….. you gas you’re man too much and she might want him for herself. 

    • Guest

      Sooo true 

    • Cay J

      @facebook-100003085266535:disqus  – I was about to say the same thing. I agreed with all of this until I got to #10! I know from experience that this is something that women SHOULDN’T do. As a matter of fact, I think that’s the reason why most men do not overly brag or even get close to saying too much about their girl (IF they really want her to themselves) is so that they don’t give any other guy a reason to want to “see what she’s all about” for themselves.

      So yeah we don’t want to talk to other women about your man. It can make them wonder just how great your man might be….. to them! Or maybe it won’t be that particular woman but you know how words get around! She might not feel that way but she might inadvertently pass that information to a woman who would be interested in trying the challenge of checking for your man!

      Also, please note – this is not about being insecure, it’s about knowing and experiencing the nature of some woman and and understanding that the best way to avoid a situation where you ignite one of your friends or an acquaintance’s curiosity is to not mention  too much about your man in the first place.

      For real.

      • i mean there nothing wrong with mentioning him every once in a while. But constantly talking about how well your man treats you is also rude to your single friends, and we don’t need to give no females no ideas.

    • KeptWoman

      PREACH!!!! I thought the same thing when I read #10 as well.

      Other than that, I like the article. Affection, Affirmation, Appreciation, and Approval is what your men needs ladies 😉

    • FromUR2UB

      That’s exactly what my mom used to say.

    • Farrah

      I think you need to surround yourself with different women.

    • bitchsbrew

      Hehehe. My thoughts exactly!