Cardi B said something in her recent sit-down with Angie Martinez that sat in my spirit. She admitted she loves marriage, but she also understands the plight of the older aunties like myself—the women who decided that after a certain point, they weren’t going to keep exhausting themselves in relationships that brought more drama than joy. Women who opted out of bullshit and chose peace. And let me tell you, as an unmarried Black woman who’s closer to 50 than 40 and absolutely fine with being unmarried until the rapture actually happens, I felt that in my bones.
Have you ever heard the phrase "single until married?" Yesterday Keke Palmer had people all over the internet asking how much of themselves they should commit to giving in a relationship where they're not yet married to the other person.
When you spend time with your friends, you’re really just thinking about your boyfriend, or about finding a boyfriend. You shoehorn the plan, and force everyone to go to the party that guy you like invited you to, even if that’s not what they want to do. In a group setting with friends and a potential love interest, you dominate the conversation, and throw your friends under the bus so you look the best.
If you’re putting yourself out there, you live every day with these high expectations floating around your subconscious. Every date could be the one. Maybe the sexual chemistry with this guy will be amazing. A lot of times, those expectations are shattered. It’s just a lot to put yourself through.
Many times women feel like they have to be in a relationship because it's expected of them when in reality they should be single.