My boyfriend will come in and give me this look when I’m eating because I have my entrée dish, salad bowl, cup, napkins, condiments, and things sprawled out over the table. “Can you clean this up?” He asks. “Um, yes, when I’m done eating. I’m kind of like in the middle of literally eating off of these things as we speak.”
If I slept really badly, I resented my partner all day long. I struggle to fall back asleep once awake, so there would be nights when the sound of my partner coughing in his sleep would wake me up and then I’d be up for hours. The entire next day we lived under a cloud of my anger—I was exhausted and I felt it was all his fault. Now, if something does wake me—like construction or a dog barking outside—it wasn’t my partner. I’m not mad at him. We can be mad, together, at the construction.
You find it annoying when your partner is in the bathroom. You see him as in the way. Remember when you used to just sit on the toilet lid, just to chat with him while he shaved? You’d paint your toenails, he’d do his thing, and you were happy to be together—even if it was in the bathroom.
There can be this freaky moment after a couple moves in—this, “Is this my life forever now?” moment. Moving in together is a big commitment. If you wanted to back out, it would involve breaking leases, sleeping on friends’ couches until you found a new place, and a lot of trouble. That reality can sink in, create all this pressure for things to go well, and cause fights.
If you have some things you can't stand to see go but don't have space for them, don't worry. You can get a storage space for little money. Or no money, if you use your mom's house.
When you go from living with another woman—maybe your best friend—to living with your boyfriend, there might be some old habits you take into your new home. But make sure when you’re living with your man, you don’t treat him like your girlfriend! Here are a few examples.