Why You Should Date Several Men At Once To Find The One

Bigstockhpoto.com/Go that way. Happy active modern couple having fun outside while going out on a date and spending the whole day together

If you’re a little old-fashioned, if you like to follow the rules, or if you have a conscience too big for your own good, then you probably only date one guy at a time. You’ve probably even met someone you were interested in, while you were casually seeing someone else, and turned down a date with him because of the other guy. But you’d only been out with the other guy a few times! You didn’t owe him anything! And then things didn’t even work out with him, so then you really regretted not going out with guy number two. Don’t make that same mistake again. Just because you’ve been out with someone a few times and things are going well doesn’t mean you should shut yourself off to connections you feel with other men. In fact, dating multiple men at a time could help you understand your connection with each man better. Here is why you should date several men at once to find the one.

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It boosts your confidence

Do you want to feel the biggest confidence boost you’ve ever felt? Date several guys at once. You can’t help but feel like hot sh*t when you’re having dinner with one man, and confirming brunch plans with another on your phone. If you have confidence issues when it comes to dating, seeing several men at once could help. And when you’re confident, you attract better guys. You attract guys who are going to treat you well, because you emanate the vibe, “I deserve the best.”

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You can conduct the happiness test

We so often forget, when we are dating, to ask ourselves the simple question, “Does this person make me feel happy?” It’s not a complicated question. It shouldn’t require your brain. You should go on feel alone for this answer. But it can be hard to really know when you’re just dating one guy. However, when you’re dating several men, it becomes glaringly clear which ones make you feel happy—and which ones don’t.

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You won’t attach where you shouldn’t

When you only have one option, you may become accidentally attached. Your subconscious is telling you, “It’s this person or nobody! So let’s find reasons to like him and stick with him!” When you’re seeing several men, you don’t feel the need to attach.

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You can go off kiss chemistry

You know when a kiss is great and when it isn’t. And you kind of know, deep down, that your kiss chemistry with a guy says a lot about your overall chemistry. But when you are only dating one guy, you may tell yourself the kisses are better than they are. When you have several to compare, the best kissers (and so, the best chemistry) stand out.

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You can conduct the comfort test

Here’s another test that’s easy to conduct when you’re dating several men at once: how comfortable does a man make you feel? Comfort, like happiness, isn’t complicated. You either feel at ease, with a nice, healthy heart rate, no hyperventilating or nerves, or you don’t. You either catch yourself second-guessing everything you say and trying to come off a certain way, or you don’t. When you’re dating several men, it’s clear as day which ones you feel at home around.

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You’ll have a lower BS tolerance

When you’re only dating one man, you make excuses for some of the less-than-great things he does, like forgetting to call, or failing to walk you to your car. When you’re dating several men, you have a low tolerance for bullsh*t. You have several other men who call when they say they will and walk you to your car, so you have no need for the ones who don’t.

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You’re forced to take space and think

Because you’re busy dating the other guys, you’re naturally forced to take a little time and space between seeing each one. This is good; it gives you time to reflect on your encounters with each one. When you only see one man, you can get easily swept up in spending time with him, and you don’t really get the chance to think about how things are going until it’s serious…or over.

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He probably is

If the only thing holding you back from dating several men is the belief that the guy you’re seeing is only seeing you…that probably isn’t true. No matter how invested he seems.

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You’ll filter out men who want to move fast

If there is a man who wants to move too fast, you’ll spot him quickly. He’ll become irritated that you can’t see him every night, and that you don’t answer all of his calls right away. Good; get rid of him.

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It’s fascinating to your friends

Oh, come on. Let your friends who’ve been in relationships for years with their live-in boyfriends or husbands live vicariously through you! You will be the most popular friend at the brunch table—you have all the good stories.

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You’ll relax more

If you only date one man, you may put a lot of pressure on each interaction. That pressure ends up making you not quite yourself. But putting tons of pressure on yourself for each date when you date several men won’t be sustainable, so you’ll just quit it and relax.

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You get to test different lifestyles

One man is an artist, another has his own startup, another works in finance, another owns a pet grooming store…who knows who you’ll meet! And what sort of worlds you’ll get to know for a little while.

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You won’t talk yourself into anyone

You won’t convince yourself you like somebody because you only have one option. In fact, you’ll be more critical and selective than ever.

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We won’t lie to you: you’ll feel naughty and love it

It feels totally liberating to date several men at once. A lot of people think women don’t have it in them—that we’re so monogamous by nature we cannot fathom dating several men at once. You’ll love proving people wrong.

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The free, fun dates

Let’s not forget about all of the fun—possibly free—fun dates you’ll be going on! You’ll get to know your city better than ever when you’re dating several men. Each man has a different hobby, different favorite bar, different favorite restaurant and so on.