What Happens When You Quit Caffeine
Bigstockphoto.com/Beautiful young African American woman with afro hairstyle and green eyes wearing white winter dress. Girl drinking coffee in park sitting on grass wearing casual clothes smiling.
You probably didn’t believe there could be such thing as being addicted to caffeine until the day came when you had a terrible, seemingly incurable headache and anxiety creeping in that you realized could only be cured by…dun dun DUN…coffee. Or an energy drink. Or a double bag cup of black tea. And that day scared you a little bit because you thought you could brag about being someone who didn’t rely on anything. You are just all natural, exercise, eat well and have self-made energy, right? Apparently not. So if you are considering cutting out old Joe, here is what happens when you quit caffeine.
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You’ll have whiter teeth
Your dentist has been pestering you for years to cut back on the coffee. Your caffeine habit is browning your teeth or destroying them with sugar so if you quit it, you can spend a little less on teeth whitening and fillings.
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You’ll cut the pastries
You know, the ones you have with your coffee to cut the bitterness. You can’t possibly have your coffee without your Danish or your muffin. Now you can cut those calories, and save money.
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No more coffee dates
Men can’t ask you out for coffee–they’ll need to take you out on real dates at restaurants with food and cocktails. Gone are the BS days of men asking you out for coffee so they can bail early if they aren’t into it. You’ll find the real men now.
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You could lose weight
The acidity in coffee can irritate your stomach lining, which can feel similar to hunger. That’s another reason you have to eat that muffin with your coffee. Cutting caffeine could help you get a better grasp on your appetite.
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You’ll spend less on toilet paper
You know what that cup of coffee does to you–it keeps several things moving on the inside. If you quit coffee you could spend a little less on toilet paper.
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You could smell better down there
Have you ever noticed that, after drinking a lot of coffee, your urine smells just like a fresh pot of coffee? That means your va-jay-jay smells like it too. And tastes like it. Which may not be something your partner loves.
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You’ll lower your blood pressure
Quitting caffeine can lower your blood pressure a small amount according to some studies. You’ll certainly notice that you feel less panicked and your heart beats at a more normal pace.
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Your moods will stabilize
Caffeine can send you on a moody roller coaster. You’ll be positive and perky after your cup of Joe, but cranky, sad and irritable when the caffeine wears off.
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You could kill your migraines
Many people don’t realize that caffeine triggers their migraines. Cutting the stuff could help you say goodbye to these debilitating headaches.
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You’ll create less trash
You’ll throw out fewer energy drink cans, paper coffee cups, sugar packets and ground coffee bean canisters.
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You’ll cut your sugar intake
Unless you’re a total bad*ss who drinks her coffee black, you likely add either real sugar or artificial sweetener to your coffee, neither of which are good for you.
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You’ll lower your tolerance
If you quit caffeine for a while then when you return to it a little will go a long way. If you can restrict yourself to one or two cups of coffee a day, you could set your body up to need less caffeine.
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Less coffee room talk
You’ll get caught up in fewer meaningless and energy-sucking conversations in the break room at work.
