8 Mantras That Kill Insecurity Instantly - Page 5
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Don’t let anybody tell you that they never feel insecure. They’re liars, and liars are the most insecure of them all! It doesn’t matter how much personal work you’ve done, how many times you’ve backpacked through a foreign country by yourself, how dedicated you are to meditation, how much time you’ve spent happily single—everybody feels insecure sometimes. So don’t beat yourself up about it if you thought you personal work was done, and here you are, feeling like a 5-year-old on the first day of kindergarten: terrified. Personal work is a life-long task, and we will all feel insecure from time to time –even healing gurus. Yes, even Oprah feels insecure sometimes. It’s the really strong people who don’t let insecurity cause them to spiral out of control. They face it, work through it, and tackle it head on. Here are mantras that kill insecurity.
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I can just tell somebody
Usually, we’re so embarrassed that we feel insecure that we don’t tell anybody. But this causes us to act out, trying to overcompensate for it, or to act distant. We forget that we can just tell somebody.
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How it helps
You know that every time you just let something out, you felt better after. Usually, the person you tell admits that they often feel the same way, and they remind you of all the reasons you’re great, and why that insecurity is false.
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This will pass all on its own
Often when we feel insecure, we feel like we need to do something about it right away. But we usually end up doing the wrong thing—like trying to prove ourselves in some way. But trying to prove yourself when you feel insecure can be dangerous because you’re at your most vulnerable, and if things don’t go exactly as you want, you can make yourself feel worse. Just tell yourself this will pass.
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How it helps
This teaches you to be comfortable sitting with negative emotions. Too many people try to run from negative emotions and believe something terrible will happen if they let themselves feel them. When, in fact, if you just sit with this feeling, you’ll see it will go away. That makes it less and less scary every time it shows up.
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Everybody compares themselves to somebody
Insecurities usually arise when we compare ourselves to somebody else. But comparing yourself to others only results in two bad things: extreme vanity or extreme insecurity. When you feel the urge to do this, remember that it’s a never-ending cycle—everybody does it, and it doesn’t get anybody anywhere.
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How it helps
If you think for a moment about the fact that the person who you feel less than has somebody that they feel less than, and even that person has somebody that they feel less than, you’ll realize this is a futile and never-ending game. There’s no winning it. So don’t play it.
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I’ve done some amazing sh*t
Anytime something doesn’t go our way, we somehow forget every time things have gone our way. We lose sight of everything we’ve done well, everything we’ve accomplished, and every time we’ve felt on top of the world. Remind yourself of those things now!
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How it helps
The great thing about this is you’re not comparing yourself to anybody other than yourself. You’ll remember the amazing things you’ve done and realize, “I’m still that person. I still carry those accomplishments. Nobody can take those from me—and this moment doesn’t take those away from me.”
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There are people with real problems
A little perspective never hurts. Next time you’re feeling insecure because you didn’t get picked for a job, a guy you liked didn’t like you back, or you gained a few pounds, remind yourself of the much larger problems in the world.
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This helps nothing
Insecurities are like worries; they’re useless. You don’t fix anything by sitting around and worrying about it. You don’t better yourself by brooding about the ways you wish you were better. Insecurity is a worthless feeling that doesn’t deserve your time.
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How it helps
We often subconsciously believe that feeling insecure about something makes that thing true. It doesn’t. Just because you have the insecurity that you’re not attractive, or you’re not smart doesn’t mean that you aren’t attractive or that you’re not smart. Right now you could do something to prove that you are both of those things and squash this insecure feeling.
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This feeling is so infrequent now
Remind yourself of all of the personal work you’ve done. Rather than beat yourself up over feeling insecure, remember that there was a time that you felt this way every day or even every hour.
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How it helps
When you realize that this is the first time you’ve felt insecure in x amount of time (days or months) you can take pride in the fact that you are, in fact, permanently stronger and more confident than you used to be. Use this feeling as a marker of how far you’ve come. Be proud that this feeling comes up much less frequently than it used to.
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I’m so much more than this thing
What’s making you insecure? Your weight? Your single status? Your job? Your social life? Guess what? That is only a fraction of who you are. Remind yourself of that.
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How it helps
You should never let any one aspect of your life define you. Remember that you’ve done the work to build a full, well-rounded life so that, even if one area is lacking, the others are always so strong that they carry you through.
