Sex is a major force in relationships, but intimacy is even more important. Though sex plays out into the mind of men and women differently, intimacy often translates similarly. Where there is love, sex is more than an act; both parties need to feel connected. Much of that connection comes from freedom and vulnerability—letting go and truly enjoying the physical and emotional pleasure of lovemaking.
Your man isn’t like the other men you’ve casually dated and shouldn’t be given the same half-hearted, selfish sex. For those we love we make exceptions; and, with him, it’s alright to be naughty. Let your hair down, because when it comes to a bout with your man, superficiality and certain rules are not applicable:
Rule #1: “Don’t touch my hair!”
Let him stroke, pull, tug and do whatever else to your hair. As long as he doesn’t cause any irreparable harm to your weave, or leave you in an awful amount of pain, he’s good. Hair is very Hot so save the silk scarf for afterward. Any man with a woman who has hair long enough to yank wants to (at least) run his fingers through it. Disheveled hair is the sign of a true “session.”
Rule #2: No hitting or biting.
Normally, smacking you up would be reason to file a police report, but during sex it’s like an energy booster. A smack on the butt here and there should be permitted, and a little nibble on the Areola never hurt anybody. It’s actually arousing. Remember, you’re free to get in a tap or two, too. Subtle, benign aggression is passionate; it’s steamy.
Rule #3: No spitting.
Sex is pretty much the only time it’s acceptable for your man to spit on you, and I don’t mean in the face. Sometimes the juices need help flowing and for others it simply adds a movie-like quality to the experience. Granting him permission to do something that is otherwise considered gross and disrespectful is making a part of that dream come true. Plus, it lets him know you’re completely comfortable.
Rule #4: Speak to you with respect.
Some of the best “dirty talk” is gutter-mouth, nasty…and profane. Cursing at you and referring to your lady part as a pussycat (minus the cat) is disrespectful in a typical setting but, in the bedroom, it’s that something extra that brings out your inner stripper. Every woman has a little bad girl in her and sex is the perfect time to let your alter-ego come out and play.
LaShaun Williams is a culture and relationship columnist, blogger and commentator. Her work has been featured on popular urban websites and she has made appearances on several radio shows. Williams is also the voice behind Politically Unapologetic, where she unabashedly discusses pop culture, relationships and everything in between. Follow @itsmelashaun on Twitter or Facebook.
