Yesterday, I received a DM from Carlos, an ex (of sorts), telling me that he expected me to be at his current girlfriend’s baby shower.
His message took me by surprise because eight months ago when he and said girlfriend were having issues, he wanted me to sleep over at his house while his girlfriend was on vacation. I declined his invitation, which led him not to speak to me until the present moment.
Instead of writing a smart response to his DM, I replied “cool,” and then proceeded to message my best friend about this latest development in our seven-year saga.
For years, our on-and-off relationship resembled Aaliyah’s “Back And Forth” chorus, except no one was dancing and it became messier by the minute. That is, until I turned 23 and started to date someone new. Carlos then became a figment of my imagination unless we exchanged “Happy Birthday” messages or I saw him partying with some of my family members. Eventually, we became the friends we never really were and, predictably, fell into the same web of drama.
After “Sleepover-gate” we stopped speaking to one another and our communication was reduced to Instagram post likes— on his part. As for me, dating someone new allowed me to be certain that I no longer wanted to be involved with or enable Carlos’ chaotic behavior; no matter the feign label of friendship we gave ourselves.
Although some of my friends would like me to go to his baby shower to fill them in on his antics, I’ve decided to no longer participate in his circus; especially if I have to financially invest in it. So that RSVP to the baby shower will actually have to be a decline.
Would you attend an ex’s shower or milestone event?