What's To Be Gained From Publicly Shaming A Cheater?

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When I learned that my now ex-boyfriend cheated on me, I lost it. I mean, I went ballistic. I couldn’t really figure out what hurt more: the fact that my ex betrayed my trust or the fact that he tried to make me feel like I was crazy when I confronted him. I was heartbroken. I was devastated. And most of all, I was enraged. I’ve been a cry baby for most of my life, but the tears didn’t come until much later because somehow, my pain was being suppressed by my fury. I fantasized about ways to get back at him. I wanted him to feel the same emotions that I did. During this challenging moment in my life, I thought about doing a lot of crazy things and wanted to act out in many ways, but I always came to my senses. Most of the outlandish behaviors that I allowed myself to entertain would have made me look foolish as well. Sure, I could put his indiscretions on front street, but that would also require me to put my own business out there for the entertainment and amusement of people who didn’t give a damn about me. I say all of that to say that I know what it feels like to be betrayed. I can understand how your emotions would push you to want to act out publicly, but I can’t really understand how people are actually able to follow through with their plans.

In 2010, Garcelle Beauvais learned that her now ex-husband, Mike Nilon, had been unfaithful. In a fit of rage, the actress sent an email informing Nilon’s colleagues at the Hollywood CAA Agency of her discovery.

Tiger Woods/Jesse James/Mike Nilon. What do they have in common . . . I found out today that MY husband of almost 9 yrs has been having an affair for 5 yrs with some slut in Chicago. I am devastated!!!! And I have been duped!! Our boys don’t deserve this!

While Beauvais may have felt temporarily satisfied by her decision to shame her husband for his cheating ways, things quickly backfired. The email was later leaked and published by the New York Post.

“When I actually looked and realized it had been leaked, I was sobbing, sobbing,” the actress shared five years after the scandal. “It’s embarrassing. At the same time, you’re in pain. It was another part of the devastation, honestly.”

Last fall, two videos of a man confronting his cheating girlfriend with audio evidence went viral. In the videos, which are nearly 40 minutes long in total, the man leads his girlfriend to believe that they’re about to celebrate her birthday, but in actuality, he’s about to present all of the evidence that he has on her. Did I mention that his parents were present during the incident?

I can’t imagine why anyone dealing with the hurt that comes with the betrayal would willing subject themselves to the humiliation that comes along with publicly shaming an unfaithful partner. The way I see it, you don’t really have much to gain from inviting the world into your relationship drama except maybe a fleeting feeling that you’ve somehow gotten revenge.

In my opinion, the best way to repay a cheater is to leave the situation with your dignity still intact, but that’s just me. What are your thoughts on this? Do you believe there are any real benefits to publicly shaming a cheater?