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Being drunk just makes you want to be honest…about everything. And no matter how open and communicative a woman is with her partner, there are always little things she keeps to herself, and usually for good reason. When she gets drunk, she can’t remember what that good reason was. Here are 15 things drunk women say to men, and shouldn’t.
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“If we’re even still together then.”
When your boyfriend says, “We should book a trip to Europe in the Spring” and you scoff, “If we’re even still together then.” He didn’t even know you had issues?!
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“I had a pregnancy scare last month haha.”
It’s not “haha” to him. It’s not something you two can laugh about now. It’s not hilarious that you threw the pregnancy test out the window because he showed up earlier than you expected the day you took that test. He probably doesn’t want to have sex anymore.
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“I never really know when my period is over.”
“Hey you know all those times I talk you into having sex with me at the end of my period, and I swear the bleeding has stopped? I’m never really sure. Hahaha!”
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“Your best friend is hot.”
Your boyfriend isn’t your best friend that you can just share your deepest darkest secrets with. It doesn’t bond you two when you tell him his best friend is hot. It just makes him never want you and his best friend in the same room again.
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“Your best friend is an a**hole.”
This one you always say laughing, as if your boyfriend will have an epiphany, and realize that yes—his friend is an a**hole, and you can both laugh about it now! Nuh-uh. You just insulted his ability to choose good people.
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“Don’t do that weird thing in bed.”
As if he knows what that weird thing is. As if, even if he does know what that weird thing is, he could just not do that and still be totally confident in bed after you just said he does a WEIRD THING in bed.
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“You thought that was so romantic.”
That one date he took you on that he put lots of time and thinking into, and that you actually thought wasn’t that great—you finally decide it will be funny to tell him that.
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“I hate that stupid t-shirt.”
That one that he always wears for very touching sentimental reasons—you finally tell him you think it’s hideous.
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“What if we suddenly had a baby?”
Another thing you add a “haha” too that in fact sends his scrotum up into his anus.
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“Who would you date if you weren’t dating me?”
You’re too drunk to realize that no answer he will give you will be an okay answer. But he realizes it, and now he’s trapped.
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“This is who I would date if I weren’t dating you.”
Oh great. He really wanted to know that. Scott from the office. Terrific. He sees Scott all of the time.
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“I can’t stand your family.”
He can talk about how nuts his family is—you can’t.
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“This one time in college…”
Here’s another anecdote you hope will bond you two—telling him about that orgy you had in college. Nope. You just gave him very vivid nightmares for months.
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“I clogged your toilet, not your roommate.”
Well. Alright.
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“We’re over!”
Then there is the notorious, classic, timeless declaration that “We’re over!” And then the next morning not wanting to be over at all.
