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We might all have an idea of how we expect people to behave, and it’s normal to feel frustrated if people fail our expectations. However, there’s a way to properly behave during those times. No one is perfect, and as humans we all fall short. So, when you behave in certain ways, you might not realize it, but you’re coming off as judgmental, no matter how good your intentions might be.
Here’s a list of behaviors that might seem innocuous, but give others the impression that you’re overly judgmental. Let’s try to learn, and be better to each other and ourselves.
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Being Condescending
Tone can be everything and they say that perception is reality. So, if you’re being condescending to a person, you tend to be that way to someone that you’re belittling, someone you in which you don’t believe. Being condescending makes you come off as very judgmental to others.
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Talking Over Others
Talking over others is as if telling a person that they and their opinions are not as important as yours. It’s a way to make people feel as though they are beneath you, as if you’re judging yourself as higher than they are in the social hierarchy.
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Rejecting People’s Boundaries
If a person puts up a particular boundary and you’re ignoring it, it’s as if you’re telling them “who cares what you’re comfortable with, I know better than you. I’m crossing this line because my needs are better than yours.”
Boundaries are in place for a reason, and if a person gives you a social or verbal cue for you to stop, you need to take it. Otherwise you come off as judgmental.
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Assuming the Worse
There’s a difference between being naive, being a realist and being a pessimist. When you’re already expecting a person to fail, and then commenting on it before they even have a chance to try, you’re judging a person’s abilities.
You don’t have to to be overly optimistic, and assume that everything will always be all right. However, you don’t have to come into every situation downing others.
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Imaging False Motives
Sometimes our minds can play against us when trying to anticipate outcomes and people’s incentives.
The fact is we can’t read anyone’s minds. And if you place a motive on a person before even talking to them, that’s unfair to the person you’re judging.
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Demanding Accountability
Everyone should be culpable for their own actions, but it’s unfair to demand that someone be accountable to you “just because.” Unless their actions are directly affecting you, the “how,” “when,” and most definitely the “why” are their own burdens to carry.
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Assigning Blame
Everyone has a role to play in life, and if a person messes up, then that’s fair for them to be culpable. However, it’s a different thing when you immediately place blame to someone for cloudy reasons. Especially if the reason is just because you don’t like them. That’s juvenile and extremely judgmental.
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Magnifying Others’ Faults
In a world filled with billions of people, you’re bound to find those who possess quirks that irritate you. However, when you focus so much on those minuscule things, it doesn’t come off as though you’re trying to help them fix themselves. It comes off as you’re enjoying judging their flaws.
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Justifying Your Own
If you are very quick to judge someone else, but them justify your own faults, it not only comes off as judgmental for others, but very hypocritical on your part. That behavior also illuminates the unfair balance that you judge others in comparison to yourself.
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Complaining About Everything
One of most draining experiences is being around someone who complains about everything. It’s as if their standards of happiness are too high for anyone and thing to reach. Due to that, not many things can make them happy, so they complain and judge others and things for not reaching their standards.
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Refusing To Be Happy
When Taniver Peart created that article addressing how people needed to stop complaining and just be happy, I felt like I was in church. I was nodding my head, clapping my hands, and almost did a little dance, because it was too true!
Negativity provides a contagious energy that can be insidious in other factors of your lives. It can make you more surly and critical of others.
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Overly Critical
Everything is not going to be the way you would prefer it to be, especially people. People are formed in a different mold than you are, and it comes off as extremely judgmental when you try to criticize everything a person does.
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Seeing Only Black and White
Life is essentially about finding the defined lines in multiple areas of gray shading. Things that are right for others, might not be right for you. But to expect everyone and everything to fall under your own defined boundaries of what you consider to be right and wrong is unrealistic. Everyone’s norm is different than yours, and so are the mores that they choose to adhere.
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Condemning Others for Not Acting How We Want Them
People are going to fall under our scrutiny sometimes. They’re not going to live up to the expectations to which you think they should adhere. Why? Because they’re human. No one is perfect, and no one is going to always behave the way you want them to.
When you condemn someone for their behavior, you’re not helping; you’re hindering and being judgmental.
Remember, be kinder to others, and to yourself.
