There is something missing in the world of dating that has created a slight disconnect between the sexes when it comes to the way we treat each other. Opening doors, pulling out chairs, helping a woman put her coat on and take it off, and walking her to the door at the end of a great evening. Some of these things may sound strange, but they are a few acts of chivalry that many women don’t get to witness these days.
Being chivalrous is something many men rarely practice in today’s world of dating, and you can’t help but wonder why. Well, for starters, some have said that chivalry isn’t displayed because it’s not taught. However, it’s something you can’t teach step-by-step because it’s a learned behavior where men observe the actions of other men and take note. So if chivalry is something that is learned through observation, what are seasoned and experienced men showing the young men of our generation and those to come? We know they see the basics of how a man treats a woman while on a date, and even during a relationship. But this may not be enough to influence the minds and actions of growing men because of stronger outside influences from the media. And whether we want to admit it or not, television and film, song lyrics, and social media have quite the impact on how young men view and treat women.
While there are a great number of men who genuinely practice chivalry, there are others who don’t think it’s necessary to do so. These men believe it’s not appreciated, and women fail to recognize and respect it when it’s shown. It has also been said that chivalrous behavior is seen as a sign of weakness. And to top it all off, some men believe that gallant behavior is no longer a required standard for the two sexes. I know this sounds absurd, but to some extent, this statement has been proven to be true because women have failed to set quality standards for themselves in regard to the way they should be valued and treated. So many have become accustomed to half-baked treatment for the sake of having a relationship.
But on the flip side of things, it seems as though the roles of the sexes have been reversed. Nowadays you find more women courting men. They’re picking them up at the bar, and even picking up the check. A lot of women are more aggressive and open when it comes to matters of intimacy. In these circumstances, what’s a man to do? Yes, he should still be a gentleman, but you have to admit that it can be a bit challenging to be a chivalrous man to a woman who’s displaying chivalry. In fact, it can be kind of awkward. It’s possible that men may feel as though women don’t need chivalrous behavior since we all tend to step outside of gender roles when it comes to dating these days.
But chivalry is something that should be valued and appreciated by both men and women. It has not completely faded out. But if both men and women aren’t careful, chivalry will be dead as a doorknob, and the quality of dating will decline (even more so than it already has). If that happens, a bitter cycle of poor relationships (and poor behavior) will unfold for generations to come. Treat a lady like a lady, even if she doesn’t necessarily act like one to you, let a man lead the way, and let’s all live happily ever after.
Liz Lampkin is the Author of Are You a Reflection of the Man You Pray for?-a motivational speaker and an advocate for single women. Follow her on Twitter @Liz_Lampkin.
