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When I saw the title of Andrea Michelle’s Uptown Magazine article Why White Women Are Winning, my eyes hit the ceiling. What a silly notion. What, exactly, is the sense in making white women some sort of normative group that black women should compare themselves to? While we do need to examine certain disparities across racial lines from time to time, I don’t think that marriage statistics is one of those issues; furthermore, as there is no proven universal standard white relationship behavior or black relationship behavior, we can’t make a reasoned comparison. Throw in the unique challenges that black women (and men) face in mating that are influenced by centuries of race-based oppression that white daters aren’t contending with and I’m already over this article before I read it.

And then I read it. And I was even more over it. To be fair, I was relieved to see that Michelle’s piece was not a nasty condemnation of black women for failing to be as adept at dating as white women; instead, she simply discussed the many advantages that white women have when it comes to meeting and marrying men and acknowledges that sisters may have to fight a bit harder for the elusive title of ‘wife’. I just think it was an incendiary title for a somewhat flimsy premise. Instead of worrying about what other women have, black women should focus on having the best lives they can achieve, romantically and otherwise.

While the ire I had preemptively formed for her piece turned to be unwarranted, LaShaun Williams’ response to the article was certainly worthy of all the eye-rolling and “What the hell are you talking about?” that one could summon up. I look forward to the day in which raking black women over the coals won’t be such a popular sport and I especially hope that black women themselves will get out of this despicable game.

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