Most people, men and women, do want love- and that’s a great goal to have. But are you in a relationship where you continually find yourself going the distance because you think you’re in “love.” Have you ever done unhealthy things or made unhealthy sacrifices for someone you thought you loved? Sometimes we women will stretch ourselves to the limit- all in the name of “love.” And it can to turn out to be quite unhealthy and unhappy for us because sometimes what we think is love really isn’t. And sometimes the one we love doesn’t truly deserve the love we have to give.
Remember this: There is always an emotional and even physical cost to being in love. But there are also wonderful benefits if you’ve found real love. Real love is something that involves work and sacrifice, but it also something that enriches and elevates you to an even better place. It isn’t something where you have to do unhealthy and compromising things to obtain or maintain it.
So before you make any decision for love, think about the cost and benefit. Why? Because your love is too precious to give to just anyone. Here are 5 unhealthy things women often do for love:
1. Give up our identity
Are you the type of women that falls off the radar with friends or abandons your career/hobbies as soon as you fall in love? Not a good move. One of the most unhealthy things you can do for love is abandon what makes you you. Ladies, you should always maintain your identity and independence when in love. That’s what makes you a whole person. That’s what made a man fall for you. And that’s what’s going to keep you whole if the love ever leaves.
2. Try to “work with” a man
This is another unhealthy thing women do for love. We try to work with a man that isn’t worth the time, effort, or love. Have you ever dealt with a man that claimed to love you, but then continually disrespected you and the relationship by his behavior? Women need to accept that some men have no sense of integrity or character. And they will say and even do anything to get what they want from a woman that they know loves them. Men like this do not love you. And most importantly, they don’t deserve for you to love them.
3. Have sex to create love
Sometimes women choose to have sex with a man because we think it will strengthen the bond and magically manifest love. The reality is that men can have sex without attachment. That is not the case for women. Recognize and accept that. Love is love, and sex is sex. And it’s not healthy to make love to a man while he’s just having sex with you.
4. Avoid setting standards
I know numerous women that make remarks like “I love him and I know he loves me, so I don’t need him to make a commitment.” Basically what these women are saying is this: I don’t really love myself so I’m fulfilled with whatever “love” he’s giving me. And if I can recognize that, then the man you supposedly “love” can most definitely recognize it as well. It’s not healthy to avoid having a basic set of relationship standards. When a woman has standards it’s because she loves and values herself. And you will never truly find love until you first love yourself.
5. Ignore red flags
What’s another unhealthy thing women do for love? We put aside all logic. And one way we do this is by ignoring red flags. Sometimes the red flags are tiny like if a man tells endless and unnecessary little white lies. And sometimes the red flags are as subtle as a flying brick upside our head. In either case, we ignore the red flag(s) because we think we’re in love. Not a healthy move. When a man subtly or overtly reveals himself to be a certain type of individual, believe it! Do not ignore red flags all in the name of love.
Have you ever done something unhealthy for love?
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