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Are you one of those women who think you’re totally awesome, yet can’t seem to understand why people – particularly men – don’t talk to you? After all, you consider yourself to be social, and you may think you put yourself out there – but men don’t seem to look your way to say hello, let alone ask you out.
Could it be the way you dress? Do you think you’re too pretty? What could be the problem? Sometimes the aura we give off has more to do with our inner spirit and happiness rather than our physical appearance – so women who depend solely on their looks are left baffled as to why men don’t come sweep them off their feet. Or maybe you’re giving off some sort of energy that is in no way indicative of who you really are. If you’re confused as to why men tend to stay away from you, it could be because you’re sending one of these “stand back” signals that keeps him from coming your way.
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1. You Look Mean or Angry
You’d be surprised how ugly a dime piece can look if she appears to be angry, have an attitude or is just plain mean. No one wants to speak to a person like that – man or woman. Having a smile on your face or at least appearing to be pleasant makes someone want to get to know you.
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2. You Appear Snobby
If you give off the appearance that you’re too good to speak to anyone or that you’d be annoyed if a man stepped to you, then chances are you’re driving him in the other direction. You can have standards, but just make sure they’re within reason. Arrogance isn’t sexy.
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3. You Look Busy
If you’re sitting on the train reading a book or doing work in the corner at Barnes & Noble or Starbucks with your face glued to your laptop, he probably doesn’t want to disturb you. However, if you’re just chillin’ at the bar or in a club without a care in the world, then he might find it easier to come over and talk to you.
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4. He’s Intimidated
Not because he thinks you’re too hot for him and out of his league – although a lot of men don’t approach a woman for that reason as well. But sometimes he won’t come up to you because you’re with a group of women. A man told me once that it’s easier to approach a woman when she’s by herself or with one other woman than if she’s with all 10 of her friends rolling deep in the spot. Now I’m not suggesting that a woman always venture out alone or with just one girlfriend, but if you go to the ladies room…do ALL of you have to go? If one of you goes to get a drink at the bar, do ALL 8 of you have to go too? Women who always travel in huge packs make it hard for a man to step to them because he doesn’t want to be sized up by all of your friends. Step away for a sec and make yourself a little more available. If you can’t seem to part from your friends, it signals a bit of insecurity if you ask me. Step out of your comfort zone…your girls ain’t going nowhere!
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5. You’re Always With a Dude
Sure, we love hangin’ with our boy BFF – but if he’s not flamboyant and flaming, then a man might not know if he’s your man, if he’s trying to be your man, is your brother, or your husband. Some women like going out with men more so than women, which is fine. Just make sure that man isn’t giving other men the impression that he’s YOUR man. If you look taken, a guy won’t step to you unless he’s just bold…or a jerk.
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6. You’re Drunk and Sloppy
Some women go out and have a little TOO much fun. If you’re drunk and dancing on tables, some men may consider that a turnoff. It shows a lack of self-control or discipline, and no man wants to be with a woman who he may have to admit to the Betty Ford clinic, unless he’s an alcoholic himself.
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7. You’re Overly Friendly With Men
If you’re at the bar or club up in every dude’s face hanging all over them, then you look desperate, not “fun.” If a guy is looking for someone who is “easy” then he might approach you. But most men don’t want to be with a woman they feel every other guy has already been with. If he does, he’s sleazy himself.
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8. You’re Dressed Like a Hooker
If you’re dressed like a prostitute, or your bra straps are showing along with too tight or inappropriate clothes hiked up your vajajay, then you just look gross…and in his eyes, just overall unattractive. Dressing like you have a pimp and acting like less than a lady can make a man run faster than the po’po.
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9. You Appear High Maintenance
There is nothing wrong with liking and purchasing and wearing nice things. If you have expensive taste though, a man may feel like he wont’ be able to keep you in Chanel and Prada without depleting his savings account. If you sport all name brand everything, you may be sending the message that either you don’t need a man for anything because you can clearly do for yourself, or you require a man who is caked up to keep you laced in the finest clothing and jewelry. If that’s the message you want to send, then by all means, rock on. But if not, then you might want to tone it down just a little bit.
