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When you get engaged, there’s no shortage of marriage advice that’ll be thrown your way. Unfortunately, not all of it is worth listening to. To help you weed through the words of wisdom, here are 14 pieces of marriage advice that are definitely worth keeping in the back of your mind.
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Marriage isn’t easy
No two marriages are the same, but every last one requires a lot of work. When things get rough remember that no one said being married was an easy part of life. The key is knowing it’s worth it.
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Don’t lose who you are
With long-term relationships, it can be really easy to lose sight of who you are. Relationships change people, and being willing to be flexible is important, but it’s also important that you don’t lose sight of who you are. Stay true to your inner self and don’t completely change who you are, otherwise unhappiness will set in.
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Time apart is just as important as time together
There’s no better feeling than being able to spend time with your partner, especially after a long day at work. But spending time alone is just as important. Spending too much time together can make a relationship boring. Spending time apart means that you’ll miss each other, and you’ll have stories and experiences to share — and retain your solo identity.
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Be willing to make sacrifices
Relationships are all about being willing to make sacrifices, but it’s crucial that both parties are willing to sacrifice equally. Problems can arise when one person sacrifices a lot more than the other, and it won’t be long before resentment builds.
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Conflict resolution is a must
One of the vital parts of a successful relationship is fighting fair, which means conflict resolution is a must. Leaving problems unsolved and ignoring each others’ concerns is never wise ensures that there isn’t unnecessary stress and tension in the marriage.
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Talk frequently about a variety of topics
We all know communication is key, but it’s not just how you talk about things, it’s what you talk about. Don’t just talk about work and family drama, and problems. spend time talking about beliefs, dreams, and things that inspire you. Your conversation should continue to stimulate your desire for one another.
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Keep each other on your toes
After being in a relationship for awhile and dating the same person, the initial feeling of needing to woo and court each other tends to die off. But, one of the most important pieces of marriage advice is to keep each other on your toes. Don’t let things become predictable. Practice being spontaneous and try to impress each other as often as you can.
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Accept change
Surely you’ve been told that marriage means changes, and you’ve probably heard a laundry list of the bad changes that happen once you get married. Believe what you want in regards to the horror stories, but the fact is that you should not only expect change when you get married, but accept and embrace it. Growth is natural and healthy. Nothing stays the same but change doesn’t have to be bad.
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Don’t let intimacy dwindle
We’ve all heard that getting married means the end of good sex but for a good percentage of couples, this really isn’t true. An important piece of marriage advice is to stay active between the sheets. Intimacy and romance are two big fuelers of your relationship fire. Have sex regularly, even if you had a horrible day at work or if you’re not 100% in the mood.
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Don’t be controlling
Any relationship that involves a controlling partner very rarely goes well. Telling your partner that he has to act a certain way or that it’s your way or the highway is never ideal. Trying to control your partner will cause all sorts of unhappiness and tension. Instead of being controlling, talk about the underlying issue and find a better fix to the problem.
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Keep your priorities in check
As time passes, priorities change, but the most important thing here is to ensure that your partner, and your relationship, remain as two of the highest priorities on your list. Though children, your job, and hobbies have their importance too, don’t let your relationship, let alone your partner, slip on your list of priorities.
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The little things matter
In a long-term relationship, it’s often the small, minute things that you say or do that really leave a lasting impression. Give your partner a compliment every once in a while. Say thank you. Surprise each other every so often. In a marriage, the small things can make all the difference.
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Believe in each other
Marriage is all about knowing that no matter what, someone has your back and is on your side. There’s nothing better than having someone in your corner, even when you make a mistake. Believe in your partner, offer support, and give advice when asked. Be each others’ cheerleaders, especially when times get a little rough.
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Pick your battles wisely
Sometimes it’s best to let the small things go and leave it in the past. Choose your battles wisely and don’t argue about every single thing that’s wrong. If your partner made dinner wrong or if he left his dirty socks on the floor again, take a step back and figure out if this battle is really worth it, or if it’s best to let it go and forget about it.
