Bitterness is a hateful and spiteful condition of the heart that evolves out of being wronged or thinking that one has been mistreated. It involves continual contemplation of hurtful things done to you, which typically results in displaced anger that never seems to go away. Within the context of marriage, there are a plethora of wives who dwell on what their husbands have done to them, which continuously feed the poisonous root of bitterness. Left unchecked, this poisonous root can lead to unhealthy harvests of emotional pain, arguments, wrath and ultimately divorce, in some instances.
The following list of bitter thoughts is not all-inclusive, but these rationalizations do represent some of the worst that wives can dwell and act upon relative to their marriage. In lieu of letting bitterness adversely affect your health and your marriage, it is important to cast away such negative thoughts when wronged and to let go of your anger before the sun goes down each day.
1. He doesn’t love me. He only loves himself. It may be true that your husband does not express love to you, as he should or as you envision. But, does this necessarily mean that he doesn’t love you? There are certain cases where husbands have the capacity to love but have problems with tangible expressions. Within the context of your marriage, it is important to be patient and allow his expressive capacity to love grow.
2. I do everything for him and I get nothing in return. Love for your spouse should not be predicated on receiving something in return. Marriages based on this type of love will likely be filled with disappointment and frustration. In most cases, there will be some reciprocity of love shown over time for the wonderful things that you are doing.
3. He’s ignorant and I am not talking to him again. Your husband may have simply misunderstood what you were trying to communicate. In lieu of a rather extreme thought where you rationalize that your husband is ignorant and that you will never talk to him again, it would prove beneficial to explain what you were stating in a clearer fashion. In a one-flesh union, it is important to continually think and speak in a positive manner.
4. I will never forgive him. Forgiveness within the context of marriage is absolutely essential. Oftentimes, there will be something that your spouse will say or do that may hurt you and vice versa. It is important to let go of these offenses so that you and your spouse can move forward with a liberated, abundant and prosperous marriage.
5. We shouldn’t have gotten married in the first place. A very negative thought that, when acted upon, represents the diametric opposite of commitment. With marriage, there will certainly be some good and bad times. On the whole, you have to remain committed to your vows and to the sustainability of one’s marriage.
6. I hate him. Harboring anger and hate in one’s heart can certainly prove to be detrimental to one’s marriage. Sometimes, it is pretty difficult to show love when you don’t feel like it. But, it is absolutely essential to show your spouse love, whether you feel like it or not.
7. I’ll show him. It is relatively easy to dwell and to act upon bitter thoughts of revenge against your spouse. But, it is much more beneficial to spend time thinking about forgiveness and the wonderful potentiality of one’s marriage. And, it is even more noble to pray for your spouse and/or to do a good deed for them in lieu of vengeance.
8. The thought of him touching me is nauseating. Intimacy is absolutely critical to the sustenance of one’s marriage. A husband who desires to have sex with you or to touch you in an intimate fashion is a good thing. If you are somehow dissatisfied with the intimacy in your marriage, it would prove beneficial to humbly articulate this to your husband instead of harboring any bitter thoughts.
