You could have sworn your boss told you that critical meeting was at 9:30 AM, but when you get to the conference room, you realize that pow wow has been going on for a half-hour already. Your superior chastises you in front of your peers and the top execs about your tardiness. You try to explain, but your boss insists she told you the right time, and this is one of the many examples of how you are a disorganized employee.
Later your boss tells you (with just a hint of a smirk) that a major client no longer wants to work with you, because if you can’t be trusted with the small things, how on Earth could you possible handle a multi-million-dollar account?
This is called work sabotage, and it happens EVERYDAY to someone, somewhere. But what you might not know is that your boss may be a sociopath, and the chief reason for gaslighting you is because, well for her, it’s just fun.
So what does a sociopath look like? On the outside, just like everyone else. Take a look inside that person’s mind, however, and you’ll find something ugly. And not all sociopaths are criminals. Only the dumb ones get caught. The smart ones could be a politician, lawyer, head of a country, or your immediate superior.
“When it is expedient, you doctor the accounting and shred the evidence, you stab your employees and your clients (or your constituency) in the back, marry for money, tell lethal pre-meditated lies to people who trust you, attempt to ruin colleagues who are powerful or eloquent, and simply steamroll over groups who are dependent and voiceless,” says Martha Stout Ph.D., author of The Sociopath Next Door: The Ruthless vs. the Rest of Us.
Dr. Stout believes that one in every 25 people are sociopaths, so you might want to check the following signs before you’re ‘late’ one too many times for a business meeting:
2) No real feelings; no empathy. Translation: If your child is coughing up a lung and the school calls for you to pick her up and take her to the emergency room, expect your boss to ask you, “Just how important is this job to you? You can’t seem to juggle family and work effectively. Maybe we ought to rethink that promotion.”
4) They have no remorse. Translation: After all the sabotage, your boss has managed to get you fired. You’re a single mom with a mortgage to pay and a child in private school and you care for an aging parent. You crumble, beg for another chance, and your bully boss calls security to escort you out of the building and then goes out for drinks.
6) They outrightly sabotage co-workers and employees. Translation: Double check that Power Point presentation, because a workplace sociopath might switch it for a YouTube porno.
Christelyn D. Karazin founder and organizer of “No Wedding, No Womb,” an initiative to find solutions to the 72 percent out-of-wedlock rate in the black community. She is the co-author of Swirling: How to Date, Mate and Relate Mixing Race Culture and Creed and runs a blog, www.beyondblackwhite.com, dedicated to women of color who are interested and or involved in interracial and intercultural relationships.
