It used to be that every woman could find her match. You found the man of your dreams, got married, and lived happily ever. Sounds simple! Yet, those fairytales are only found in the storybooks now since more and more black relationships have dwindled over the past 50 years. It’s one of the most talked about issues in the black community, and many theories swirl as to why it’s hard for women to find companionship. If we analyze the truth, a ratio of 100 black women for every 87 black men doesn’t sound remotely scarce. But out of those 87, if there are a shortage of marriageable black men versus those who are cheaters, on the down low or incarcerated, then it makes perfect sense! But is that the sole reason we can’t find true love? There could be other alternatives. Maybe these reasons (below) stem from why you’re still single? You tell us!
1. You look for your “ideal” man (who doesn’t exist on the planet)
You’re a successful woman who has reached her plateau in life, and may be perplexed by a man (black or white) who is not on your level. You tend to overanalyze any man based on what you desire in a man. For example, he must ride in a luxury car, own a house, and work a corporate level job and be six-foot tall and with a “Boris body” and…OMG, time to get rid of the impossible checklist. Standards are fine, but they should be realistic.
2. There is a surplus of un-dateable men
After much digging, we find ourselves in a rut. There are no decent black men accounted for other than those in the undateable category – jail birds, cheaters, or the discreet ones. It’s a lost cause.
3. You take too much advice from other people
Close friends, confidants, or business associates are not always the best advisors. In fact, taking the wrong advice from them can cripple your chances of ever finding someone who fits you. You have authoritative control over your relationships, so take charge by trusting your instincts first.
4. You try to be “the man” and “the woman” in the relationship
Every man and woman has his or her own unique traits. You’re the hard worker maybe, and he’s really great with selecting art for the home. Don’t overstep your boundaries into his territory because he may interpret that as haughty behavior. If a man can profess, provide, and protect you in the ways you need, then don’t make it a habit to take control of the driver’s seat.
5. You have a bad attitude
Ladies, its important that we keep a tab on our attitudes. If you had a bad day at work or have a chip on your shoulder, let those emotions subside because it can come out when he least expects it. And that could cost you a potential mate or relationship.
6. You have low self-esteem
Poor self-image is seen as a negative attribute to a person, let alone a man who is eager for your affection and attention. Embrace your womanhood to portray a positive image. Communication, good posture, and personality are must-haves in a guy’s book.
7. You deny his compliments
If he comments on your hair, lips or body, then don’t turn him down. It can be perceived as low-self esteem. A man who is interested will show his affection by courting you or being generous. Treat him the way you ought to be treated, and accept his interest in you.
8. You’re too needy
Never let a man know how you feel early in the game. If the playing field is new, you want to remain as neutral and unpredictable as possible to make it more interesting. If you’re beautiful or have a great character, breathing down his back every five minutes doesnt guarantee your staying power in the relationship.
9. You hide your natural beauty
Yes! Men are visual creatures and they will admire your beauty from a mile away. Fake attributes all the time are a sign that you’re not comfortable with your natural beauty. If you’re so quick to cover up everything about you, then what’s the point of him getting to know the real you?
10. You force him into a relationship or marriage too soon
If he isn’t ready to be in a committed relationship or marriage, then don’t force it! A good man will be honest about his feelings for you and if he is ready to take things to the next level. He is very clear about that, but you have to trust it’s the right relationship for you as well.
