Are you the breadwinner?
The one who takes out the garbage?
Do you make all the decisions about your family?
Do you like it that way?
Men and women come to the relationship table with definite ideas about the role that each should play. Whether from their own family example, television and pop culture or some other influence, we grow up with clear ideas of what men do and what women do.
If you grew up in a home where your parents worked together as equals to run the house and make the rules, it’s likely that you would expect that in your own relationships. On the other hand, if your mom was the ruler of the house and your dad was the “yes” man, then you might not be happy unless you have a guy who agrees with your every move. Was there physical abuse in the house? Then, sorry to say it, but you may think that is “normal.”
Conversely, when you have lived through negative or unsatisfactory conditions, you may seek out the opposite—and hopefully more positive—options for your own relationships.
I know, you’re saying put on the breaks, what about women who actually prefer to be the “man” in the relationship? I say more power to ya, Madame. We’ll address that topic in another article, but this time, we’re talking about being part of a couple where he isn’t necessarily stepping up to the plate. As independent as you want to be, there are certainly many times when you want your man to be THE MAN.
Are you still confused? Whether you’d like to admit it or not, here are some signs that you are the man in the relationship:
- He always forgets his wallet, so you have to make sure you carry money everywhere you two go.
- You always call him. (so much of a no no, I can’t even tell you)
- He’s very laid-back when it comes to romance.
- He doesn’t put an equal amount of effort into the relationship.
- He doesn’t “believe” in Valentine’s Day and doesn’t do romance any other day.
- You have to plan everything or else you two would never do anything.
- He doesn’t initiate any help around the house and when you have to finally ask, he huffs and puffs.
If you like the roles, then more power to you. If you’d like your man to “make that change” as MJ would say, I have to be honest, you have much work ahead of you. Talk to your beau and see where he stands. If he winces when you bring up the idea of him contributing more to the decisions that you have to make for the two of you as a couple or family, then take a deep breath and start compromising.
