You would be surprised at how many of my friends have a crush on Neil deGrasse Tyson. Yeah I’m talking about the astrophysicist science guy, who is most known for reclassifying Pluto as just a stupid floating rock. Yeah, the black guy.
Now I know some are thinking, Neil deGrasse Tyson? For real? What is it, his cherub-like face? Perhaps it’s his circa 1990 “Fresh Prince of Bel-Air” haircut? Maybe it’s his trademark intergalactic vest he is known to rock? How could any woman with vision find anything remotely crush-worthy in Neil deGrasse Tyson? Well, let’s start with the fact that in addition to his take down of linear thinking within the spiritually devout science community in The Perimeter of Ignorance, Tyson still refuses to call himself an atheist, instead claiming that the only ‘-ism’ he holds above all is science; And how he was cool enough to coin the term Manhattanhenge (which ironically was done six days ago), which describes the two days when the sun aligns perfectly with the cross streets within the Manhattan street grid. Oh and let’s not forget being boss enough to reclassify the so-called ninth planet in the solar system.
Totally hot.
As Andrea Plaid, writer for Racialicious wrote earlier this year, Tyson is definitely crush worthy because he “… Doesn’t let bulls**t fly–and gets a bit impatient when it happens–because he’s just that no-nonsense? Oh yeah. Doesn’t create false dichotomies between science and art? Doesn’t, won’t, and refuses.”
Ladies, admit it: Neil deGrasse Tyson, particularly his knowledge of all these stars, the moon and quasars, makes him a pretty awesome dude. And while he can’t compete on the swagtastic, eye-candy level as say a Lance Gross or Idris Elba, he can definitely get “it.” Yeah throwing the cookies at a science nerd because he can actually calculate Newton’s law of gravity may seem a little extreme. But for many of us weary lady folks, who have gone through more than our share of the dudes who feel like that having a nice suit and car, a 401k plan and curly hair like Al B. Sure (whether it be real or with assistance from some sort of texturizer) is all that it takes to impress us, we know that the nerd dude is it.
I remember the first nerd I fell in love with. I had just turned 31 and had recently sworn off of men. By the time I was 30 I had been through a number of failed “relationships” including ones with drug dealers and car thieves, pretty boy womanizers, ones with several baby mommas, brainless sports and Xbox loving Neanderthals, dudes with a lots of cash but no heart, straight up bums, ones who were a momma’s basement away from being homeless and born-agains, and folks who were anything but Godly – basically any combination of the archetype of black manhood you could think of. Point is, I was done with men.
Anyway, I was at this folksy community harvest festival, probably looking sad and pitiful, when I was approached by this short pudgy dude with a Swatch watch and unidentifiable shoes. He was totally the opposite of what I was normally attracted too. I had it already in my mind that if this dude started talking to me, I was going to make an excuse and run away. But he said something funny. I can’t remember exactly what it was, but it made me smile. And since my smile was a dead giveaway that I was at the least amused, I had no choice but to engage in conversation. Well, we ended up talking for hours, laughing and joking at the event.
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Fast forward several months later and the guy with the funny shoes and swatch watch was officially my boyfriend. Over our short courtship, I had learned some interesting things about him. For one, my then-boyfriend was really into comic books. And I mean, “IN” to comics. In fact, he had an entire garage filled with thousands upon thousands of comic books…err…or as he likes to say, graphic novels. He corrected me about that the first time he introduced me to his little hobby. His eyes twinkled with delight and wonderment usually reserved for little kids as he held a few up and said, “These are not the same as comic books you used to read as kids. These are great works of literature with artistic flare reminiscent of some of the best artwork you can find in the Museum of Arts.” He paused to dig through his box of books, “Matter of fact, I think I can find something here you would like…” Oh, okay. Part of me was thinking, If I sneak out while he is fingering through volumes of Y: The Last Man I could probably make it to my car before he even noticed…
Later in the day, he told me his favorite character was Batman. Oh great, now he and my little nephews have something in common, I thought. He told me more than I wanted to know about the cape crusader. He told me to test him. And when I asked in a snarky tone, “Oh isn’t it true that Batman and Robin were gay lovers?” I watched as his face turned bright red with annoyance. Man that was fun. But listening to him give homily about the symbolism of Batman as well as reveal to me that he too was a struggling cartoonist made me realize that there was more to this guy than appearance.
The thing I liked most about my comic book loving nerd was that we could sit around, having fascinating conversations about any and everything. Nor did I have to put on airs to impress him. Heck, most times, I could kick it with him with no makeup, mismatched socks and in sweatpants and he would still find me beautiful. Likewise, he didn’t have to give me false pretense that he would protect me from all danger. Heck my nerd boyfriend almost got beat up trying to protect my honor. In fact, I had to step in just to make sure he didn’t get his a** kicked. That’s not to say that he was weak. No, my nerd guy’s strength came in other forms. Like how supportive he was of my dreams. When I said that I wanted to produce a web series, he helped to secure the production crew to make that happen. And when I got bored with the project, he offered no judgment.
My time with my nerd boyfriend would end after a couple of years. Nothing major happened; we just sort of grew apart. But with him, I had learned about cosplay and comic cons. I had developed a new appreciation for Japanese anime and all the glory that is Batman. And when the “Walking Dead” television series came out, I was so stoked because, thanks to my geeky nerd ex-boyfriend, I had already knew what it was about. And that made for lots of personal fun time, sitting on the couch, throwing popcorn at the television and yelling at the characters on the screen, “This was not in the graphic novel!”
My most important lesson was that love wasn’t just about swag or a fancy façade. When choosing a mate, we have to look deeper to find someone who could be a good companion and have something more going for them rather than just what he can financially provide. Sometimes you just need a little tenderness. Sometimes you need someone who can be fun and whimsical without all the false bravado. Sometimes you need someone to explain to you Pierre-Simon de Laplace’s theories of probabilities. You know, just in case you land on Jeopardy or something. I’m not saying that a nerdy, geeky, corny dude has to be everyone’s choice. I’m just saying that they too should be explored as an option.
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