Would You Be Cool Not Being Claimed?

March 13, 2012  |  

A few entertainment blogs were buzzing today because Diddy and Cassie were seen touching down at LAX Airport together after getting back from Paris Fashion week. When I first saw the pics of these two in practically matching gray sweat suits I was like awww, they’re so cute. Then I was like wait, they weren’t actually photographed together. Then I decided the paparazzi just couldn’t capture the shot so I went back to awww, and then I was like wait (again), this dude doesn’t even claim her. I mean, these two have not been in a relationship for how long now?

Emily B and her non-relationship-acknowledging boyfriend Fab immediately came to mind when I thought of Diddy and Cassie but I won’t put these two in that category. Emily’s claiming Fabolous and Fab’s claiming dolo; when it comes to Diddy and Cassie, neither one of them is acknowledging the relationship—big difference. Then I thought of Bey and Jay, but the sheer magnitude of their careers and their need to keep their relationship out of the public eye just doesn’t quite compare with Cassie’s career, so I’m not putting these two in that category either. Then I settled on Nelly and Ashanti. That’s who these two are the modern-day version of. You’ll see them out hugged up at a party or in the front row at a fashion show boo’d up, but once the relationship questions come up…you say she just a friend (cue Biz Markie).

So does it matter? Not when it comes to us, of course. The public doesn’t have to know who’s dating, sleeping, or creeping with who, but I wonder how these women feel being openly denied or at least not acknowledged. While I know both Cassie and Diddy are pulling the “no comment” PR stunt, women are often the ones seeking commitment from partners, and I can’t help but feel like the whole I don’t talk about my relationship line they’ve been running is all Diddy’s doing. I mean, let’s be real Diddy is an attention hog and he’s had much more high-profile relationships than this that he openly acknowledged. One could say he’s learned his lesson about keeping his mouth shut with this one but I’m more inclined to think he’s not claiming because he isn’t committed?

There have been more than enough rumors about Diddy loving up on tons of women in the same time frame he’s been with Cassie from Mischa Barton, to Sienna Miller, and Cameron Diaz. That whole I never said we were in a relationship excuse comes in pretty handy when you’re out and about with someone other than your insignificant other. And if Cassie did want to finally stop pretending the man she’s glued at the hip to for pretty much every event really isn’t just a “friend,” is she even in a position to, considering he has her heart and her career hanging by a thread? That fact has led some people to think Cassie is just screwing her way to the top, which is pretty unfortunate if these two are a real couple. And that’s why I’m a fan of giving your girl the acknowledgement she deserves instead of having her look like a golddigging you know what.

Even though these two are celebs, the same thing tends to happen with non-famous couples. A man may claim he doesn’t want people in his business so he keeps his relationship on the hush when it really just throws serious shade on his partner and invites all types of outside skepticism that can ruin a relationship. It’s also a convenient line to keep him from being accountable when he’s with someone he shouldn’t be. I’m not saying I need a man to shout their love for me from the rooftops but if we’re in a relationship and someone asks him, his answer better be yes, just like mine will be.

Would you be comfortable not being claimed, as long as you know what your relationship is? Or do you think keeping your relationship secretive like Cassie and Diddy is a no-no?

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.

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