Here's Why You Shouldn't Recreate Your Favorite Sex Scene

If you’re trying to recreate that steamy sex scene from your favorite romance film, think again. Intimacy coordinators Jessica Steinrock and Neha Vyaso say it could be dangerous to place unrealistic pressure on our sex lives by replicating what we see on the big screen. 

During an interview with Allure published April 18, Steinrock and Vyaso—who both work on the set of big TV and film projects, ensuring the safety of actors during intimate scenes—shared several tips on how to strengthen pleasure with your partner in real life.

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1. Stop comparing your sex life to what you see onscreen.

According to Steinrock, the first step to improving your sex life is to stop comparing the mind-blowing intimacy you see in big movies to your personal sex life at home. According to the intimacy coordinator, sex on TV shows and films aren’t designed with pleasure in mind. 

“It is rather on what looks good for the camera, which is the complete opposite of what happens in real life.” 

Ultimately, these scenes were crafted to serve the story and script. They’re fictional and shouldn’t influence how we show up in our real-life intimate relationships, explained Steinrock, who’s worked on the set of major TV shows like Netflix’s Yellowjackets.

“Television is story and fantasy, and real life is not that. Even the most authentically portrayed scene of intimacy is going to be different than real life.”

2.  Consent, consent, consent.

Every now and then it’s healthy to spice things up in the bedroom. Maybe you were watching a movie where a scene got a little steamy and you’d like to try something similar with your partner in the bedroom. Steinrock shared that while perfectly okay, it’s important to obtain consent and discuss boundaries with your significant other before trying something new. 

“Being aware of what your boundaries are and communicating those clearly and collaboratively can build trust—and trust makes for an excellent experience for everyone,” Steinrock added.

3. Ease into it.

Things don’t always go as planned in the bedroom—and that’s totally normal. If your partner isn’t into one of your kinkier suggestions, take it in stride and adjust. What excites you might not do the same for them, and that’s okay. Take the pressure off and focus on discovering what feels good for both of you over time, shared Vyaso and Steinrock.

4. Be spontaneous.

To become a bit more adventurous during sex, Vyaso recommends making things fun and spontaneous. Start small and grow over time. You can add a little “choreographed touch” into some of the staple positions that you do during intercourse or bring out a few spicy items that will heat up foreplay such as sex toys or hot massage oil. These small things can make real life sex amazing.

Vyaso told Allure that “taking time for moments of stillness, breathing, and mutual fine-tuning, can make real-life intimacy feel more immediate and connected.” Sensual and steamy eye contact, an erotic back rub, or squeezing your partner’s hand during intimacy can light things up.

“In real life, these tools can become our most powerful ally—like a hand squeeze that whispers a soft ‘yes, please continue,’ or adjusting body positioning in a way that signals interest or hesitation,” Vyaso added. “Intimacy is as much about listening as it is about expressing.”

Let MadameNoire know if you’ll be incorporating some of these sizzling tips into your next hanky panky session.

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