Infidelity Redefined: Harmless Flirting Could End Your Relationship

Americans are rethinking what constitutes infidelity in relationships, with some considering behaviors like harmless flirting, watching porn, and chatting with an ex-partner signs of cheating.

According to a new study conducted by Talker Research in partnership with LELO published Feb. 25, a group of 2000 sexually active adults recently shared their thoughts about what infidelity looks like in a relationship, and 51% said harmless flirting and chatting with an ex (60%) could damage a relationship beyond repair. For some (23%), watching porn was also a form of infidelity. Those who placed the kinky act high on their no-no list (54%) said it should be “banned” when a relationship becomes serious. 

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Respondents said past partners are a sensitive topic. 

Respondents show sensitivity when it comes to their partner’s past, with nearly half (49%) saying they would confront their partner if they found pictures with an ex on their phone or social media. The number rises to 62% if there are texts involved.

However, a third of those surveyed (30%) are open to their partner maintaining a friendship with an ex, though they’d keep a close watch on the situation and intervene only if something suspicious arose. Similarly, 36% would notice a close relationship between their partner and a co-worker but would refrain from confronting it.

On the other hand, jealousy doesn’t seem to be triggered as easily by behaviors like dancing with someone else (32%), allowing someone to buy a drink (31%), or reading erotica (47%). Interestingly, 89% of respondents expressed hesitancy to be fully honest with their partner if something bothered them, with 1 in 7 admitting they’d avoid addressing the issue out of fear of upsetting their partner.

While 77% of Americans say they’re satisfied with their sex lives, only 30% report being “always” satisfied during intimacy. Over half of respondents (53%) confessed to withholding their true feelings or being dishonest with their partner to avoid conflict, citing concerns about upsetting them (39%) or fearing their partner’s reaction (33%).

What is okay in a relationship?

When it comes to what’s “fair game” in a relationship, 79% of respondents said reading erotica and using sex toys or masturbating (76%) were okay and not instant markers of cheating. Dancing with someone else (66%) was also acceptable. Ultimately, Luka Matutinovic, chief marketing officer at LELO said it’s important for individuals in a relationship to set their own “boundaries” and find out what areas they need to work on when it comes to intimacy. 

 “Whether single, in a relationship, or somewhere in between, exploring together requires openness and mutual respect,” Matutinovic said in a statement. “Honest conversations about desires and limits unlock new experiences, helping partners build deeper trust and connection. When judgment is removed, both partners feel empowered to explore and discover new pleasures, creating space for genuine intimacy and shared growth.”

What do you think of the LELO study? Is harmless flirting and a few of these other acts signs of cheating to you?

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