Ladies, beware! Men are getting inventive with their cheating, using the iPhone Notes app in some unexpected ways.

BellasTalkTime, a TikTok influencer and relationship expert, spoke about the issue in a video posted on TikTok Nov. 14. The content creator explained that sneaky iPhone users can invite others to collaborate on a shared note, giving them access to text and send images, in real time, that can easily be deleted.

“People are getting away with sending photos and all sorts of things,” she added. “This is crazy.”

According to some users in the comments section, this bizarre cheating tactic isn’t new. Many women shared stories of catching their partners—or hearing from friends—who had been cheated on using the app multiple times.

“My husband has done this…. but could not find the messages,” wrote one user.

Another TikTok netizen penned, “One of my best friends, his notes app was open on his laptop, and that’s how she found out.”

Ugo Omero said she helped a friend find out her man was cheating using the app.

BellasTalkTime isn’t the first social media influencer to bring attention to this issue. Ugo Omero, a STEM and lifestyle influencer, was among the first to spotlight the strange cheating tactic in a TikTok video posted in November 2023. In the video, Omero claimed that she helped her best friend discover that her fiancé was cheating, all thanks to the iPhone Notes app. 

While Omero didn’t provide specifics on what raised the red flags about her best friend’s fiancé, she encouraged women to “check” their partner’s Notes section regularly for signs of infidelity. However, she was careful to clarify in the caption that she doesn’t “condone going through people’s phones,” as there may be a better and more effective way of confronting your partner’s infidelity. 

 

Couple crisis. Jealous wife noticed man texting on phone

Source: Prostock-Studio / Getty

 

Why do people cheat?

Infidelity remains a significant roadblock in many relationships. According to research from Statista, cheating has been on the rise since 1960, with 21% of American respondents admitting to having cheated on a partner—whether current or previous—by 2021.

Researchers from the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy tried to unlock more data about this heartbreaking reality with a separate 2021 study, which surveyed 495 adults, researchers sought to understand the underlying causes of infidelity. The study identified eight key reasons for cheating: anger, low self-esteem, lack of love, low commitment, a need for variety, neglect, sexual desire, and specific situations or circumstances. Notably, only about a third of participants admitted to cheating directly to their primary partner, with women being more likely to confess than men.

While many people associate cheating with sex, it’s rarely just about physical attraction. Most participants reported some level of emotional attachment to their affair partner, with emotional connections being more common among those who felt neglected or unloved in their primary relationship, Scientific American noted of the study. About two-thirds (62.8%) admitted to showing affection toward their affair partner, and 61.2% engaged in sexually explicit conversations.

Nearly 4 in 10 (37.6%) reported having intimate exchanges, while 11.1% even expressed love. Those who felt disconnected from their primary partner often found the emotional intimacy in their affair to be more fulfilling, especially when the infidelity stemmed from a lack of love. In these cases, the affair became not only a physical outlet but also a source of intellectual and emotional satisfaction.

 

How do you overcome cheating?

Discussing your partner’s infidelity can be incredibly difficult and emotional, but open communication is key to moving forward, according to VeryWellMind. 

If you see signs of cheating on your partner’s iPhone, the site advises that before delving into the details of the affair from your partner’s perspective or trying to understand why it happened based on their needs, it’s crucial to first reflect on your own needs. Share with your partner how their actions made you feel, and ask them to reflect on why they sought a connection outside the relationship. Together, explore ways to rebuild and strengthen the bond. Whether it’s due to sexual dissatisfaction, boredom, or unmet needs, both partners should openly discuss how they can work together to improve the relationship.

Accountability is crucial. If you are the person who has cheated, you must stop the dishonesty immediately and take full responsibility for your actions, without making excuses or placing blame. Patience and giving your partner space are also essential, giving them space to hopefully heal. While these steps can help, there are no guarantees the relationship will heal. However, without fully owning your actions and understanding their impact, the chances of reconciliation are slim, the website notes. 

 

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