Are You A Coward When It Comes To Breaking Up?

So over the weekend, I got a chance to check out an advance copy of the film Exit Strategy.

The movie, which has been written by Jameel Saleem, executive produced by Big Boy from KPWR Power 106 in Los Angeles and set to open this Friday in select theaters, is about a dude named James (also played by Saleem), who gets evicted from his apartment and moves in with his girlfriend, of only three months, Kim (Kimelia Weathers). Unsurprisingly – because when does co-habitation work after only three months of dating – things don’t quite work out. Well I should say that things weren’t working out for James as Kim seemed to be fine with their relationship.

Unlike Folu from yesterday’s post, James is not trying to wait around to discern whether or not he could fall in love with her. Nope, he made up his mind about this relationship after the second day of cohabitation. James does what any mature and rational person would do when faced with having to break someone’s heart: he, along with his friends, concoct several elaborate and very stupid schemes to make her break up with him -without jeopardizing his chances of sleeping on her couch. Because you know, then he would be homeless and James wants to put his interests first.

I won’t tell you much more about the plot because it’s not out yet. But I will say that the movie has a cameo by Kevin Hart in this hilarious sequence involving mannequin heads and some very bad advice about bacon. Don’t ask.  However the whole plot of the film had me thinking about why it is so hard to break up with someone when the relationship is clearly not working. Why is it so hard to just tell the truth?

I know from experience; I once told a guy I had went on a few dates with that I couldn’t see him anymore because I was leaving in a few days to go teach English to little children in Africa. No, I’m serious. It was the best thing I could come up with at that very moment I decided that I couldn’t take us dating anymore.  Unfortunately that moment of clarity happened for me when he “just so happened to be in the neighborhood and decided to stop by my house uninvited.” Annoying and stalkerish, right?

So I told him that I got this amazing opportunity suddenly and because of the distance, I thought it best we ended this situation immediately.  I thought it would be enough for him to finally leave me alone. However, this guy, who obviously didn’t catch the hint, was impressed by my intentions of being a global citizen. He wanted to know where in Africa. Yikes. Not being the quickest liar on my feet, I blurted out the first great African nation I could think of: Zamunda. That’s right I told this guy that I was moving to the fictitious country from the Eddie Murphy flick, Coming to America. He thought I was playing and proceeded to laugh it off. But as I stood on my steps barring entrance across the threshold to my home, he finally wised up to what I was so haphazardly telling him. He whispered an impassionated and defeated, “okay Charing” before slumping off into the sunset.