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Cheerful black woman sitting on couch enjoying being selfish

Source: The Attico Studio / Getty

It’s time we rethink the meaning of the word selfish—or at least the way we use it. Oxford Dictionary says a person is selfish if they are “lacking consideration for others” and “concerned chiefly with one’s own personal profit or pleasure.”

But, think of some of the times you’ve been called selfish. You probably weren’t having the time of your life, laughing at others’ misery. If anything, you were probably just trying to prevent your own misery. That distinction matters.

People tend to use the word selfish in a manipulative way. When you just try to maintain your peace or look out for your well-being, you’re called selfish. How about this: it’s selfish for people to call you selfish. Often, that’s a tactic to get what they want out of you.

Let’s flip the script and recognize that there are some acts of selfishness that are perfectly healthy. Don’t let anybody make you feel bad about them.


Staying In A Hotel + Not With Family

Elegant woman on business trip.

Source: Dimensions / Getty

You do not need to stay with your family if it leaves you feeling stressed, exhausted or in any way unwell.  You’re a grown adult who is allowed to say to your family, “I’m getting a hotel. I need my rest and will be more comfortable there. It’s not personal.” And you can stick to that, even when the guilt trip begins.

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