Ways We Get Body Positivity All Wrong - Page 7

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Telling others what they need/can do

“Eat the cake. You can afford it.” “You should really eat a sandwich.” “Have the cookies – you can because you went to the gym.” When we try to calculate what others “can” or “should” do, we are again emphasizing the physical over the emotional. There must be balance. Both elements – the physical and the emotional – must be kept in mind. Perhaps your friend who you say “can afford to eat the cake” is trying to gain control over her sweet tooth. But when you say “You can afford it” it implies that there are others who can’t afford it, and it implies that she’s holding back because she thinks she needs to lose weight. If someone tells you their limit, such as, “I’m not eating dairy right now” or “I’m not having sweets right now,” it’s not up to anyone else to tell them whether or not they can or should draw that line.