One thing that we know about the last year is that since COVID popped into our lives, all our relationships have been put to the test. Whether we’ve become closer to people out of an effort to build a sense of community, ended relationships because we realized just how surface level they were, or spent more quality time with our loved ones after realizing just how precious every moment is, it’s safe to say that our relationships (or lack thereof), have been more pivotal and highlighted in our lives than ever before.
That being said, keeping up our relationships has been harder and riskier than ever before as well. While leaving one’s home to gather for holidays or big life milestones hasn’t been worth taking the risk for some, an unidentified mother recently made it clear via a Facebook post that for her, gathering during this time is about more than just celebrating. It’s about loyalty in a relationship.
Posted several days ago, a mother recalled the events of this past weekend when she threw a birthday party for her young daughter. According to her, after immeasurable resources and effort had been put into making her daughter’s first birthday party special, not one of the 50+ people who were invited ended up attending. As you can imagine, being both hurt and shocked that none of her family and friends showed up, she said that after all the times she has tried to be there for others when they needed her, the weekend’s events served as an “eye-opener” regarding who people have loyalties to, what people really prioritize, and where she and her family fall on other people’s lists.
“PSA: FAMILY/ FRIENDS,” the mother’s long message began. “As a lot of you know, my baby‘s birthday party was Feb 6, 2021 and her birthday is Feb 4 (She turned 1).”
“I just want to take a moment to say I go out of my way when it comes to helping mfs/others out, or even just showing up when it’s time. I done checked in on so many of y’all when you were pregnant, messaged or called to check in on how you’re doing, watched folk’s kids, drove over an hour plus to attend birthdays, baby showers, parties, and let people borrow money (by the way I still ain’t seen that sh*t). I have been so many people’s shoulder to cry on/go-to person, helped with bills, gave rides and so much more.”
“And don’t no one message/call to check in on me or sh*t,” she continued. “The only time I hear from someone is when I call/text you or they want something. I’m such a kindhearted, giving, and loving person and don’t know [a] person [that] returns the same energy/and kind-heartedness I give them. And the fact that no one (not one single person or kid) showed up to my baby’s party to help her celebrate really pissed me off. Only a handful of people or less wished my baby a happy birthday. I am beyond pissed, heartbroken, and devastated. I understand why a few of y’all couldn’t make it but for absolutely no one to show up is BS. I invited over 50-60+ word of mouth.”
“And as much love and support I give, I would have never thought people would be so selfish and do my baby like that,” the mother added before calling out her loved ones further. “Y’all can go out, party at clubs, drink, and etc., but couldn’t pop in for 5-10 minutes just to show her some love. Not a phone call, text, or nothing. It’s really sad. But I know a lot of my family/ friends are fake & two-faced. Y’all smile in my face and talk behind my back. YALL support who you want. But Saturday was an eye-opener for me. That really just shows me where the loyalty lies & where I need to draw the line on who is family or a friend. And stop doing sh*t for people.”
“LIKE HOW WOULD YOU HAVE FELT IF NO ONE CAME TO YOUR CHILD’S BIRTHDAY???,” the woman asked of her Facebook followers, “HOW WOULD YOUR CHILD HAVE FELT???”
“I put so much time and effort into planning and doing this party to make sure everything would be perfect for my baby.” Describing her preparations for the big day, she continued, “I did so much for this party: custom shirts, my hair, makeup, manicure & pedicure, decorating, so many trips & ordering stuff, baking, etc…”
To summarize the rest of her message, after reportedly calling several different police departments, the mother claimed she was finally able to get in touch with an officer who offered to pick up all of the “cupcakes, cookies, brownies, rice crispy treats, chips, sodas, gift bag, etc.,” to take either back to their respective department, a family in need, or a church. In essence, she just really didn’t want all the food and party goodies to go to waste. In the last bit of her message, the mother vowed to not throw anymore birthday parties because of how much money and time was wasted in this year’s painful and disappointing fiasco.
“Moving forward I’m no longer doing birthday parties,” she said. “I’d rather take my girls to fun places/somewhere they like every year on their birthdays, [rather] than waste money on a party that no one will prob come to.”
In a screengrab of the mother’s account shared by @theneighborhoodtalk, photos of all the balloons, sweet treats, and custom shirts the mother made in honor of her daughter’s special day can all be seen.
Even though COVID is still a major risk, it truly is heartbreaking to see that no one showed up to this 1-year-old’s birthday party. The mother’s story is especially relatable because anyone, regardless of whether they’re a parent or not, can empathize with feeling underappreciated and or overlooked by their loved ones at times. Obviously, as in this case, that feeling is even worse when you might really be counting on them to come through, especially for your child.
Additionally, it can’t be denied that the mother has a point. As we’ve all seen, even though many of us are still quarantining and being mindful of COVID restrictions as per instructed, there are also those of us who have still been partying, still been going to the club, and still been out and about and posting it all for everyone to see on social media. If people are willing to risk their lives and the lives of others to do all that, then why couldn’t they make it to her child’s party with a mask on and a gift?
It’s a difficult situation because to be fair, this woman said she invited 50-60 people, not including those who knew about the party through word of mouth. Even with masks on, being in an enclosed space full of that many people, family or otherwise, doesn’t seem like the safest idea. It’s sad because even though corona has stopped a lot of things, milestones in people’s lives haven’t stopped. They continue to happen every day. Especially after last year being such a tough one to get through, I’m sure this mother was excited to celebrate her daughter’s first year of life as something happy and worth doing it up for. It’s crazy that when you consider the way things panned out for her, even if she invited fewer people, all of whom she invited still might not have shown up anyway to support her and her family.
In the end, the betrayal of loyalty is what seems to have hurt this mother the most. While her 1-year-old is still so young she won’t remember how poorly her first birthday party turned out, this mother still did her best to salvage the day after the fact and turn it into a positive experience for her daughters. At their core, so many relationships are bound together through the loyalty one’s willing to show they have for another. But is risking catching COVID worth reaffirming those ties and making memories with loved ones that count?