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“Check your ego.” “You have a huge ego.” “He’s an egotistical maniac.” These are some of the phrases in which we hear the word “ego”used. When we talk about someone whose ego is out of control, we say that because the ego is an unavoidable part of the human psyche – it can’t be eliminated, it can just be controlled. And controlling it can make for a peaceful life with happy relationships. But ego is something that is usually seeking to take over. It goes against our instincts to control it and not let it lead us all of the time. Your ego, after all, wants you to do what serves you, above everyone else, and what offers instant gratification. Objectively speaking, that sounds pretty good, right? But when you actually live that way, you find that while there are some short-term benefits, the larger implications are all negative.
The truth is that those who do allow their egos to rule their lives don’t even normally know they’re doing it. They don’t realize that they’ve let the wrong part of them steer the ship – only everyone around them, who suffers for it, can tell what’s going on. That being said, there are some pretty clear patterns that arise in one’s life when they let their ego get the best of them. To get a professional look at this issue, we turned to mental health expert Lacrisha Holcomb (pictured below). Holcomb is a healing coach and author of Diagnosis Consciousness.
Source: Lacrisha took these photos / na
Breaking it down in psychological terms
Holcomb reminds us that the word “ego” is often misused in popular culture (and for simplicity’s sake, we’ll continue to use it the way it’s come to be known). “One of the most popular psychology theories about the ego, Sigmund Freud’s analytic take, is that it embodies three elements of our personality: the ‘id,’ ‘ego,’ and ‘superego.’ If we were to think about it in stages of development, the ‘id’ is the child, the ‘ego’ is the adult, and the ‘superego’ is the parent.” When we talk about the ego, we usually ascribe traits to it that are actually more of the id – childish, demanding, and temperamental.
