Signs Your Ego Is Ruling Your Life
Scorekeeping is a defense mechanism
The ego-driven individual may keep score of the things one can actually count – like who spent what or who showed up for what event – because there is some sense of safety in that, Holcomb says. Trying to instead measure emotional generosity is far more complicated, and for that reason, scary. “This kind of fear and abandonment-based record-keeping can cause friction, damage intimacy, and stir up negative defensive feelings in both parties,” she says. “The ego in this sense may treat relationships in a transactional manner to meet a certain need but be hesitant to invest emotionally or any other way due to unresolved personal issues.”