Why Family Dinners Are More Important Than We Know - Page 2

Source: mixetto / Getty

The average family dinner lasts just 20 minutes. We can sit down to binge-watch episodes of TV shows that are three times that long. But we can’t stay still to enjoy a meal with our loved ones any longer than 20 minutes. While around 75 percent of Americans say that they regularly sit down to family meals, only 29 percent of those state they have family meals every day. Meanwhile, six in 10 parents of kids under the age of 18 say they wish they had family dinners more frequently. What happened to the good old tradition of sitting down, every evening, talking about your day with your family, and indulging in a lengthy meal?

Today, it seems we’re so focused on getting more done that we aren’t concerned with touching base with our loved ones about how all of our pursuits are going. That being said, it can be difficult, as a parent, to know what to prioritize with your children since there isn’t time for it all. Should dinners be longer? Or should that time be reserved for extracurricular activities that help get your children into good colleges? Eating together as a family, beyond Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow, may impact your kid’s future more than any credit she adds to her college application. We spoke with a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor, Shanita Burgess, (IG: @shanita__b) about the importance of family meals.

Source: unknown / na

Nobody wants to talk about it

“The world feels crazy right now in the dumpster fire that is 2020,” says Burgess. “In the midst of political unrest in the middle of a pandemic, it’s easy to want to check out emotionally as a misguided way to cope with the stress of this year.” One survey found that Americans are the unhappiest they have been in fifty years. Between the Coronavirus, elections, and financial hardship, there may be a lot of emotions Americans want to escape, and avoiding conversation-heavy family dinners could be one way to do so.

Source: golero / Getty

What’s discussed at dinner matters

The same study that showed regular family dinners improve parent-child communication went into detail about what parents tend to discuss with their kids over a meal. It found that the parents who eat with their kids are more likely to be aware of their children’s whereabouts (because they ask about them during meal time), praise their kids for a job well done, and talk to kids about what’s going on at school.

Source: skynesher / Getty

A time to feel important

Burgess echoes the idea that family dinners give kids the chance to feel like the focus of their parents’ attention, saying, “Family dinners are an easy way to ground the family and put into perspective what’s important. Everyone deserves to unwind and process the events of their day with people who care about them.”

Source: skynesher / Getty

Powerful wellness benefits

Eating together can improve your children’s relationship with their bodies and food along with minimizing the chances of hazardous behaviors, says Burgess. “Eating together assists with developmental and emotional benefits like a decrease in eating disorders and weight controlling behaviors for girls, decreased substance use in adults, better grades, and decreased thoughts of suicide.”

Source: Nick David / Getty

Examining family meals and eating disorder frequency

While eating together regularly may decrease the chances of children developing eating disorders, it’s all about how parents approach those meals. One study found that a high number of adolescents with Anorexia Nervosa (AN) report having regular meals with their families. However, in these cases, the parents may require regular family dinners because they like to enforce strict eating guidelines, which can further trigger symptoms of AN. So if you do eat regularly with your children, be sure to learn how to identify disordered eating behavior, and speak to them about food and their bodies in a way that’s positive.

Source: lisegagne / Getty

Start young for long-term benefits

As for healthy habits, research shows family meals can encourage these. One study found that having regular meals with kids starting as early as age six can lead to lower consumption of soda by age 10, and better overall physical fitness. Kids who engage in regular family dinners starting at age six also prove to have better social skills than those who do not.

Source: kate_sept2004 / Getty

It doesn’t have to feel like a chore

“Make it fun! Choose your meals together,” suggests Burgess. “Talk about subjects that your children are interested in. Making a connection and communication a priority through spending time together over a meal is a throwback family tradition that we need to bring back.”

Don’t just let the kids pick the meals: have them cook them. Research has found that children who regularly help prepare family meals like fruits and vegetables more than kids who don’t participate in the meal prep.

Source: Brothers91 / Getty

Keeping teens safe through family meals

We’ve covered a couple of ways to help keep teens safe, like installing certain apps on your phones or theirs and teaching them about social media safety. But if you’re looking for something simpler, just have dinner with them. Research has found that teens who regularly have meals with their families are less prone to seeking risky behavior such as sexual activity, violence, and substance use.

Source: Klaus Vedfelt / Getty

Wealthy families eat together less

Being a family of means could cause you to have fewer family dinners together. Studies have found that low-income families have significantly more family dinners than wealthier families. This could simply be because they must cook at home to stay on budget, and buy/cook in bulk to save money, but they receive another benefit: their young children develop fewer behavioral problems than those who don’t eat with their families.