Would You Call Your Boyfriend Or Fiance Your “Husband”? Jeannie Mai Does: “I Don’t See A Problem”

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Where do you stand on referring to the man in your life as your husband if he’s not officially that? The conversation was broached on an episode of The Real this week after Jeannie Mai shared a post that left a lot of people, including her fiance Jeezy’s celebrity friends, confused.

Mai put up a post showing off her home studio on Instagram. She shared that Jeezy left a message for her wishing her good luck with the season premiere of The Real. She gushed over the sweet gesture, calling the rapper “my husband.”

“Look at my good luck charm for today: My note from my beautiful husband,” she said. “I love him so much.”

Some took that as a hint that the couple had possibly already tied the knot in some small, private way. Because who calls a man you’re not married to your husband? Well, clearly Mai does.

“Where is the lie? I don’t see a problem,” she said when Loni Love brought up the topic on the show. “Guys! First of all, there has not been a wedding because you guys would of course know. But second of all, when you say yes, you should already look at that person like your husband. When I said yes, if I wasn’t comfortable calling him my husband, I wouldn’t say yes in the first place. And by the way, guys call their ladies ‘wifeys’ all the time.”

Love clarified for a crunk Mai that because not much had been said about wedding plans, they just wanted clarification on whether or not a ceremony had taken place since she was dropping the h-word in front of the world.

“When you’re so in love and you’ve already said yes and you are engaged but you look at that person like your husband, you have no problem calling him that. Whether you’re engaged or not!” she said, taking things a step further. “They say ‘wifey,’ we can say ‘husband.’ There’s nothing wrong with that.”

As Adrienne Houghton put it, a man you’re with can be a “Husband in your spirit.”

I personally think that people should do what works for them and their relationships. However, I don’t believe in calling anybody anything that hasn’t been made official. If we’re in the talking or courting stage, I’m not referring to you as “my boyfriend” if that hasn’t been discussed. If you were my boyfriend and you hadn’t proposed, I’m not calling you “my fiance.” And if we’re engaged and we hadn’t made it down the aisle yet, I’m not calling you “my husband.” (There’s actually a lot of fun in being extra with “my fiaaaaaance” label.) All that is cute and what not, but you don’t want to get too caught up thinking of your partner as more than they are, especially if you’re not engaged. You could find yourself with your feelings hurt if they aren’t doing the same or don’t eventually take the relationship to that next step. Not to mention, “wifey,” as in that sh-t Next sang about, and calling a man “husband” are two completely different things. One is for play and is given to a woman whom a man might deem wife “material.” The other is literally calling a man your marital partner when he’s not.

But I get why Mai is all for it. If not for the pandemic, as she stated, she and Jeezy would be planning a wedding right now. He’s made his intentions clear by proposing and by saying yes, so has she. They have actively taken the steps to take their relationship to that next, major level. They’re excited and just waiting for the right time to make it all happen.

However, if you’re dating and just sprung, I would be a bit more cautious about throwing around the h-word out loud. Keep that desire to call him your “husband” in your spirit, sis.