10 Reasons You’re Struggling To Sustain Friendships With Other Women
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It’s always interesting to hear women boast about only having male friends because they’re incapable of being friends with other women. While you may try to spin this as a positive, the inability to sustain friendships with other women says a lot more about you than it does about women in general. If you’re struggling to keep female friends, it may be time for a self-check. Here are ten reasons why your friendships with other women aren’t lasting.
You compete
Are you a highly competitive person? Are you constantly overcome with the urge to one-up your friends and relatives? Does it make you uncomfortable or annoyed when your girl appears to be excelling or “outperforming” you in a particular area? Whether you outwardly act on these feelings or not, it’s likely that your friends can pick up on your overly competitive energy and there’s a good chance that they would prefer not to be around you as a result. This competitive attitude screams insecurity and it makes people uncomfortable.
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You compare
Similar to those who can’t help but compete, women who are always comparing themselves to their girlfriends can place a damper on a relationship fairly quickly. Your friends shouldn’t have to censor their good news out of fear that it will make you feel bad or insecure about what’s happening in your life. True friends know how to celebrate one another.
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You don’t reciprocate
Healthy relationships require a healthy balance of giving and taking. Are your friends showing up for you way more than you are for them? Do you constantly have an excuse for why you can’t be around when they need you the most? People can quickly recognize when they’re being taken advantage of and most won’t stick around and allow the misuse of their friendship to continue.
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You make everything about you
Do you dominate conversations to the point where hardly anyone else can get a word in? Do you check out of phone conversations when the focus is no longer on you and what you want to talk about? Are you guilty of making yourself the center of attention at your friends’ celebrations and functions with drama and meltdowns? As much as your friends may care about you, that sort of behavior is toxic and draining. More than likely, they’re going to check out after a while.
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You’re hypercritical
Do you have a reputation for picking at people with your words and swift criticism? Are you often dubbed “the judgmental one” by those who know you best? While blunt honesty can sometimes help our loved ones to be better, there’s a fine line between being truthful and being straight-up mean.
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You’re a mean girl
Are you known for being petty and catty? Are you often at the center of conflict between girlfriends and acquaintances? Most grown women don’t have the energy, time, or patience for that sort of drama. So if that’s your thing, it’s not surprising that people want to keep their distance.
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You throw shade
Are you the passive-aggressive friend who takes pleasure in being nice-nasty to people? Are you always doling out backhanded compliments? Do you have a knack for finding negative things to say about the most positive of circumstances? Are your friends scared to introduce to you to their other friends out of fear of what you might say? Almost no one wants to spend their free time with a Debbie Downer, which could be the reason why it seems that your friendships always fade to black.
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You seek to control
If you’re a control freak with a “my way or the highway” attitude, there’s a good chance that this is getting in the way of establishing long-term friendships. Nobody likes to feel like they’re being controlled and your domineering attitude has likely caused your friends to feel uncomfortable on more than one occasion.
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You’re dismissive
Do you feel like it’s your job to shut people down when they share their ideas, goals, or aspirations? Are you quick to tell people “It’s not that serious” when they tell you about something that has hurt them or “You’ll be aight” when they tell you they’re having a hard time? Friends should validate one another’s feelings, not diminish them.
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You have too much baggage
Do you have trauma from the past that you have not properly addressed? Are you easily offended? Do you ghost your friends without telling them why and then reappear without explanation? Do you get upset with people over virtually nothing? Oftentimes, when we fail to address issues from the past, they resurface in our relationships in some pretty bizarre ways that tend to push people away.
