Source: Courtesy of Cash Arroyo / CA
We spoke with a few women as part of PCOS Awareness Month to learn more about the disorder and the ways in which they manage it to live their very best lives. Cash Arroyo is one of those women.
When Cash Arroyo was 18, that was the first time she’d ever really heard anything about polycystic ovary syndrome. The hormonal disorder came up in a conversation with her primary physician during a visit. She told him that her flow during her period had become increasingly heavy, and he told her that her condition sounded like it could be PCOS, that she could find herself struggling to conceive down the line, and that she should get on birth control. Still, he couldn’t say for sure that that was what she was dealing with, so that was as far as such insight went. It took another six years and suffering with some physically and emotionally crippling symptoms for the Jacksonville, FL resident to be diagnosed by an endocrinologist with the disorder.
While some might have been alarmed by the diagnosis, after years of dealing with a lot of pain and very few concrete answers, Cash was actually relieved.
“This is going to sound weird, but I was happy,” she said. “I had an actual confirmed reason for why everything was happening. It wasn’t me thinking I was going crazy or other people telling me it’s because I don’t drink enough water. It was literally because something was actually wrong with me, so I was happy. I was like, oh my gosh, finally, I can do research and figure out what’s going on. I can find ways to help myself.”
But the symptoms were still rough, and in fact, got worse through the years.
“My acne completely totaled my face,” she said. “It was coming in so bad, especially during my menstrual cycle. It would come in twice as worse. So my face, it was just riddled with cystic acne. I started getting facial hair. It was just really, really bad.”
“I shave every single day, she added. “If I don’t shave, a little stubble beard will start to grow in and cheek hairs will grow in. Every single day I have to shave, to this day.”
In an attempt to find relief, Cash, now 28, has spent years doing what doctors recommended for her situation, which included going to the gym and eating healthy. She tried various diets, including keto and vegan, but ended up finding her help in an unexpected place: through edible marijuana. She begrudgingly tried it for the first time after a friend told her it could help her deal with insomnia, a symptom of PCOS. She found that it helped with other things, too. Now she makes her own edibles, smokes weed and is an overall advocate for marijuana.
“I took some of the marijuana and I went to bed. I slept the entire night, which I thought was insane. I had never slept like that before,” she said. “Being that I slept like that, I decided that I was going to keep using it and when I kept getting it, that’s when I realized that my face started to clear up. My face was clearing up, I was getting sleep, I was just seeing a huge change in my health once I started using marijuana.”
Being able to manage the acne and the sleeplessness through marijuana has been a huge relief, but there are some things attributed to PCOS that aren’t an easy fix for her. Cash still finds herself in the hospital at times due to debilitating ruptured cysts, and as previously mentioned, fertility issues are common with the condition. For Cash though, she’s been able to come to peace about everything, particularly the question mark concerning whether or not she will be a mother in the way other people expect her to be anytime soon.
“I have never really been a child person,” she said. “I have always wanted to adopt. It has always been in my heart to adopt a child. I was adopted when I was younger, so I’ve always, always, always wanted to adopt a child. I have never in my life wanted to be an actual mother. I’ve never wanted to be pregnant, I’ve never wanted to give birth, I’ve never wanted to experience those feelings. I’ve always wanted to adopt and give a child who doesn’t have any hope some kind of hope. That’s what I’ve always wanted.”
And while she does say the pressure people can put on her about having a child of her own can leave her feeling “defeated” at times, she financially doesn’t see it in the cards for herself, and that’s okay.
“I have accrued so many hospital bills, emergency room visits, cysts rupturing, just always having to go to the doctor and not having health insurance, not being able to co-pay. I have put myself in debt because of PCOS and I’m still paying hospital bills to this day,” she said. “Just recently, it was go to the emergency room or wait out the pain. I waited out a whole week and went through it because I didn’t want a hospital bill. If I’m in debt because of my PCOS, why would I want to spend thousands of dollars on IVF to have a baby? I would never put myself in a position to spend thousands of dollars on a treatment that may not even work. I can’t afford a baby.”
Cash is hopeful about adoption down the line, but for now, she says she and her boyfriend are focusing their love and attention on his 6-year-old son.
“He calls me mom. I love him. We’re good,” she said. “We’re happy with our lives. We don’t need another child to fill a gap or a void because there is none.”
Source: Courtesy of Cash Arroyo / CA
Cash doesn’t feel like she’s missing out on anything, nor is she downtrodden about the things she’s had to deal with and will face because she has PCOS. She started sharing her story with her thousands of followers because she was inspired to stop hiding her intense cystic acne caused by the disorder from family and friends. She posted a video about her struggles and got “so much love and support” from people, she was overwhelmed.
“I had no idea so many people were going through it,” she said. I was so glad that I posted it because it did wonders for me.”
She continues to share her story and maintains a sense of positivity and hopefulness about everything because it not only keeps her encouraged, but it also uplifts so many other women going through life with this disorder.
“I have come to terms with the fact that this is what I have and who I am,” she said. “The only way to not be so hard on myself is to understand that I’m not the only one, and know there are people who constantly look up to me and message me looking for advice. I have to remember that you have to push through it because at the end of the day, it’s what you have, no matter what you do. It’s your walk, it’s your journey, it’s what God wanted you to have, and it’s for a reason.”
“As hard as it is somedays, having to look in the mirror and see my scars on my face or to have to think about shaving every single day, this is the card I was dealt with and you have to deal with it and rock it the best way you can,” she added. “That way, whoever is watching me, they can say, ‘Wow, she’s handling it so well. Maybe it’s not that bad.'”
