10 Black Men Discuss Why They Dream Of Being Fathers One Day
Source: Courtesy of participants / Courtesy of participants
Ekow Essel, 30
Let me first start by saying that I’m first generation Ghanaian-American. There are a lot of preconceived notions about what it means to grow up with immigrant parents with varying degrees of truth. Some common tropes of the African Dad are that he is overbearing, never satisfied, and not accustomed to displaying affirming emotions. While the first two characteristics weren’t my reality, the third was all too real. This played a major impact in many early relationships I had. I’m older now, and understand that my father was simply mirroring behavior taught to him in the same way I was. There are many reasons why I want to be a father, but a major driver is the opportunity to teach my children about emotional intelligence, and how it’s okay to productively lean into how they are feeling. I feel that, as a man, it’s important for me to help break the cycle of male emotional detachment by effectively modeling good behavior for my future children.
