When It Is And Isn’t Okay To Accept Money From Your Parents - Page 3

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We all have that moment when our parents give us a wad of birthday or Christmas cash and we ask, “Am I still supposed to take money from my parents? I’m an adult.” When you make enough money to cover your expenses, splurge here and there, and save for retirement, you can feel like, well, isn’t this the whole reason my parents raised me well? So I eventually would not be a financial burden on them? There comes a day when you and your parents are both, unmistakably, financially stable and independent adults. Can one financially stable, independent adult accept money from another financially stable, independent adult? Look, your parents will always be your parents. And just because you don’t necessarily need them to care for you when you’re sick or comfort you when you’re sad, doesn’t mean you can’t let them do those things. The same goes for accepting money. There are just some guidelines. Here’s when it’s okay (and not okay) to accept money from your parents.

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Okay: A medical bill

Some medical bills for truly necessary procedures are just enormous. If you’re unfortunate enough to need a major surgery, and even with insurance your copay is massive, it’s okay to let your parents help. It’s rare that someone under the age of 50 just has that kind of cash lying around. You’re their baby—it’s their job to keep you alive and healthy. No matter how old you are.

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Not okay: An elective (cosmetic) procedure

Sorry but, if you want a breast augmentation, Botox, or a little nip and tuck, you’ll have to fund that on your own. Even if you are certain these changes will improve your quality of life, it’s just not on your parents to pay for these. They may—if they’re very generous—but you can’t get angry if they don’t. While plastic surgery shouldn’t be so stigmatized, at the end of the day, it’s not a necessary medical procedure.

Okay: So your child can take lessons

Maybe you can’t afford to send your child to karate or ballet lessons. She really wants to go. These activities would improve her college application, not to mention just enrich her life. It’s okay to let your parents help pay for such things for your kid.

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Okay: So you can return to school

If you’d like to return to school and are facing the choice to A) Either take on massive student loans with high interest rates or B) Just let your parents help you out, so you can pay them back at zero interest, let them help you out. It’s an investment in your future.

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Not okay: You made a poor investment

If you made a high-risk, impulsive investment and lost a lot of money, it’s just not on your parents to help you with that. Part of being an adult is taking measured, calculated financial risks, like putting money in retirement funds—it’s not day trading with no knowledge of day trading.

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Okay: Your child can go to a good school

In this day and age, it seems even the elementary school a child goes to can affect her college prospects. With that reality in mind, it’s okay to let your parents help pay for a good preparatory middle or high school for your child.

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Not okay: A fancier, rented place

You are tired of your dingy, small apartment in the less-than-posh neighborhood. Sadly, it’s just not up to your parents to cover an extra $600 a month you can’t afford, just so you can live in the luxury apartment with the spa and gym.

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Okay: A down payment on a home

If you’d like to purchase a place, and having your parents help with the down payment would bring the loan repayments down substantially, that’s okay. That’s a smart move on everybody’s part. You’ll build equity, and have a property to raise your family in.

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Not okay: Your solo vaca

You really, really want to go with your girlfriends to the private island they’re renting for five days for one’s birthday. It’ll cost about five grand a piece. That’s not on your parents. Either dip into your savings, or don’t.

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Okay: A trip with them

If your parents want to invite you on a trip with them that you couldn’t otherwise afford, go along. Take them up on it. They are happy to spend the money if it means spending time with you.

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Not okay: You can’t hold a job

If you keep losing jobs due to your own impulsive actions—yelling at coworkers, lying to employers, cheating timecards, being late to work—it’s not on your parents to keep bailing you out while you can’t afford rent. You need to clean your act up.

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Okay: Your child’s health

Even if it’s a little beyond the normal medical treatments, it’s okay to have your parents help with your child’s health. Maybe you’d like to get your child regular acupuncture to help with allergies. Though it’s not critical, it could greatly improve the quality of her life.

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Not okay: Poorly researched business plan

You can’t ask your parents for a heap of money every time you have a new get-rich-quick-scheme. You also cannot accuse them of not believing in you when they don’t want to invest in your twelfth get-rich-quick-scheme, when the previous 11 didn’t work out.

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Okay: Investment in a legitimate business

If you are thoroughly educated in an industry, have done your research, and are well prepared and dedicated, you can ask your parents to invest in your business. You’re certain their investment will pay off, right? So you’re providing them an opportunity.