All Articles Tagged "toxic relationship"
There is only one difference between the crazy girlfriend and the cool girlfriend: the crazy one says what’s on her mind all the time. But be real: we all have mean, rude, selfish, paranoid and even insane thoughts occasionally. The trick to a successful relationship is gaining control over those thoughts, and learning when to speak up and when to bite your tongue, count to ten, and let it pass.
Before you find “the one,” you’ll date a bunch of other ones. Only the truly lucky find a great relationship—built on compatibility, mutual respect, and sexual attraction—early on. Most of us have to have all the other types of relationships, to understand what a functional relationship should look like. Here are 14 types of relationships you will almost certainly have before you find long-term happiness.
Even the most positive of people will have their down days when life gets the best of them; when so much has stacked up against them that their usual cheery defenses are shot. So don’t panic if your man hits a rough patch. But that’s all it should be—a patch. Because being someone’s cheerleader every day, and having to believe in someone when he doesn’t believe in himself, is not only exhausting; it’s unhealthy. All your energy will go to supporting the other person, and you’ll have none left for yourself. And the saddest part is, that energy will be wasted because you can’t make a person think positively who doesn’t want to. So, are you dating a negative man? Here are the signs.
You and your man are two different people. You have two different minds, you’ve had two different days and so, sometimes, you’ll need different things. It’s natural in any relationship to pass on things you want, to let things run smoothly but there is a difference between compromising for the relationship, and compromising who you are. A pretty easy indication that the latter is happening is that your stomach dropped a little when you read that. But here are some other situations in which you can find the difference.
A partner can be a wonderful compliment to your life. They can pick up the pieces when you are struggling to do so, give you a boost of confidence in the areas you need it most and calm you down when you think you’re going to blow your lid. Like a puzzle piece, your partner should fill in the gaps to make you feel stronger, and more whole. But, partner up with the wrong person, and instead of making you feel whole, they can slowly test your most positive of qualities. Here’s how you know it’s not a conducive pairing.
A healthy relationship is the perfect balance between comfort and something that pushes you outside your comfort zone, rational and a little bit of fantasy, sexual and emotional chemistry. Lean a little far one way or the other and you have a relationship that could easily be broken by the ever-changing climate of life. Don’t even base your relationship on these elements.
Sometimes you can’t quite put your finger on what is wrong with your relationship, and for that reason you decide there is nothing wrong. Not necessarily true. Here are 15 strange, subtle and seemingly unrelated signs that your man is toxic for your life.
He spoils you
Every woman deserves to be spoiled occasionally. But if your man constantly showers you with gifts, begins inappropriately early (like after date #2) and spends tons of money on said gifts, he is probably in great fear of losing you. And that’s a lot of pressure to put on a woman. We easily succumb to guilt and we can feel when a man would be devastated by us leaving him, so we often stay in relationships we don’t want to be in.
Every woman gets a little emotional sometimes. We all do things we’re not proud of as a girlfriend sometimes, so don’t worry that you’re one of the crazy ones if you cry over nothing occasionally, get a little jealous or a little needy. That’s normal. What’s not normal is trying to manipulate, control or dominate your boyfriend. You should always fight for what you deserve, but not for more than that. Which is what you’re doing, if you do the following:
Intentionally making him jealous
If you want more attention from your man then you should either tell him he needs to step it up or you might need to have a talk with yourself. You could be ignoring the fact that you just might be insecure and so you unfairly make others fill your void of confidence by getting attention from other men. But someone else shouldn’t have to hurt because you’re hurting. Your man shouldn’t have to feel jealous because you feel insecure. If you need to work on your self-confidence, you need to do that work. You can’t make someone else feel like it is their fault because until you deal with said insecurity, he will never be able to provide you with all the attention you want.
It’s that moment. You feel like if you open your mouth the only words that will come out, no matter how hard you try, will be the line you’ve got prepared—maybe it’s passive aggressive, accusatory, begins with a deep sob or a shake of the head. But you’re about to tell him: you’re mad. Even though we get overwhelmed by our emotions sometimes, if we can, we should pause before picking our next fight just to make sure it’s worth it. Or, if it’s even fair. It’s hard to be logical at that moment just before explosion, so if you have some questions ready for yourself, you might have a chance at avoiding a blowup.
Being in love should transform you. It should make you want to be a better person. It should give you new, broader ways of looking at things. It should make you more comfortable in your own skin. But, do you notice that last point? While being unwilling to change at all makes you—honestly—a miserable partner, the changes you make for your partner should never make you feel restricted, like you have to look over your shoulder constantly, or feel less comfortable in your own skin. Don’t ever let a man think he’s “improving” you by making you give up the following things.
Talking to your friends about your relationship
If your man asks you not to discuss your relationship with your girlfriends, there are two issues here: 1) Women bond over discussing their relationships! He’s keeping you from one of the most fun parts of hanging with girlfriends, and 2) WHY is he so worried about your friends hearing about the details of your relationship? The only reason he should care is if he thinks those details will make your girlfriends stop and say, “Hold on. You need to end this relationship! It’s not healthy!” But, if that’s the case, it is so whether your friends point it out or not, and even he knows it.